Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Well I visited my daughter again who lives 10 minutes away from a casino, spent 3 days and did not gamble! Yay! I worried all week about it, had a plan with my sponser that I would call her when I left and when I got there and lots of times in between. I think I had so much trouble with it before is because it took me by surprise to see a casino right in front of me when I was going through so much pains to stay away. The urges come at the strangest times, like I will be washing dishes and I feel like I am momentarily swept away to the casino, like I am actually there. I know that sounds crazy but thats how it feels. It lasts a second then I am back to reality. It's hard to think that I can never gamble again or go to a casino again. I guess that's why we do it one day at a time. I am not going to gamble today.
I did not understand until my counselor explained, the difference between an urge and Post Acutes Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). Now, I understand that for me, an urge starts with a thought to gamble and becomes an urge when I entertain that thought. That is different from a gambling dream or from a sort of "flashback" that replays gambling in my head. I learned the flashback stuff is similar to the dreams in that it is our brains trying to make the dopamine at the higher levels that it had gotten used to in our addiction that aren't there in our recovery. So, I have no control about having dreams, flashbacks or thoughts to gamble, but I have control about how I choose to react to them. I can intervene in my thoughts before any of these becomes an urge to gamble, if I am aware of it in real time, and I choose to act.
I wish I knew what to tell you, other than that I have been struggling more than usual recently as well too.
I'm getting by with my therapist, race training, journaling, cleaning/organizing, shopping (though I'm careful not to get addicted to this too), walking, playing with my dogs, reading, and this group. Just trying to distract myself until the urge passes.
Hang in there. You can do this. One day at a time, one urge at a time. We are all in this together!