Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I will try not to make this too long. I was going to private message qwit4good with a lenghty message but I know others might have some good advice. I am an absolute mess. I am glad I haven't gambled or I would be a gambling absolute mess. My mental diagnosis is major depressive disorder with psychotic features and ocd. Not the kind of ocd where you're neat or count more like a thought process ocd. I have been suicdal for years and every anti depressant I take intensifies this and the depression. I have tried many anti psychotics and mood stabalizers. nothing works. I go to groups and a counselor. My father commited suicide when I was 14 and I found his body. I suffer a lot from this. I was married to an abusive, physically and mentally, man for 20 years, who died 20 years ago, 2 years after I finally divorced him. Also due to the many medications I have been on I gained 100 pounds in 4 years, adding so much to my misery. I have 3 grown daughters who turned out pretty much okay, I guess, but who do not treat me with respect, first due to the 4 years of compulsive gambling and also because of my mental ill ness because they think "I can hep it". They barely talk to me unless they need a babysitter. I feel unloved and alone. So I need advice. Not "don't kill yourself" I won't do that to my kids, I have lived through it. I need the names of books, life style changes, things you have done to help your self. I need help. Not gambling is big, but constant misery sucks. I know it could always be worse but that dosen't change how bad I feel. HELP!
It is a therapy designed for those that were sexually abused as children but I think the techniques could be applied to any kind of childhood trauma. My counselor worked with me using several the techniques in the book.
Secondly, keeping a gratitude journal goes a long ways for feeling better about ourselves. It was hard for me at first, as my life had been so negatively oriented that I could not recognize the ways in which I was blessed. I started with writing things like: :"I am grateful to be given another day to work at being a better person", or "I am grateful I have a roof over my head" but as I kept the diary, I realized more and more that I am grateful for that not everyone has. I am grateful for finding joy in life. I am grateful for this online group, I am grateful that I have found new friends who don't gamble, I am grateful for my public library, I am grateful I can afford a vacation this year, I am grateful for so much of my life that I had ignored/forgotten about when I was gambling. We must not just quit gambling but START living - Today I won't gamble, but I will read something interesting, I will have a meaningful conversation with a friend, I will walk around my neighborhood and see what is in bloom already, I will tell someone I care about that I appreciate them, I will try to take one photograph today that looks at something from a different perspective and I will attempt to make someone's else's day with a kind word. I will expect something wonderful is about to happen today and I must be aware to see it and enjoy it.
Hang in there, healing57 - feel free to message me - I will usually get back to you in a day or two.
You’re not alone, believe me. I suffer from depression, too. And ocd - the counting kind, lol - and suicide has seemed like an option to me many times in my past.
But, it’s easier to deal with my depression, and everything else life wants to fling at me, so,so,so much easier, without gambling.
I know you’re looking for advise, and I wish I had the right words for you. But the truth is, sometimes i’m just hanging in there trying to do the next right thing. “Just get off the couch” I tell myself, listen to some music, soak in the tub, put a face on! Hahahaha, I guess my down time might seem boring to some, but I need it when I’m feeling depressed. Art work, crafts, reading and even good ol’ tv helps. My grandkids are like a feel good prescription for me❤️
I have 2 grown kids, who each have to little daughters. I’m blessed. Open your heart to the idea of how wonderful it is to get to spend time with your grandkids, even volunteer to babysit before your kids ask, you can turn that situation around if you try. I know it’s hard work to change the way we feel about our life, the good and the not so good, I had to start by changing my dialogue with myself, and it works! I mean it. I felt sort of foolish, at first, talking nice to myself, but I was willing to try, and it’s working. An example would be something like, instead of saying I don’t gamble anymore, I say I don’t have to gamble any more. Or a better example would be, instead of saying to myself I can’t, I started telling myself I can. I found a friend in myself instead of an enemy.
Keep writing and we’ll keep reading and responding, you have friends here who need to help you through the darkness.
I’m a rambler at times, I love this group because I know you guys get me, and I thank you❤️
Botton line we all need Jesus. He can fill you with peace, joy and love. Call up a pastor at a church and tell him your pain. There is power in prayer. I will lift you up in prayer too. Never ever lose hope. Please give the Lord Jesus a chance. Only Jesus can forgive you of your sins and then you will know what real freedom is all about.
2.) One day at a time. Gambling is a hard addiction to break. Just one day, sometimes even one moment, at a time.
3.) I know this sounds crazy, but try to forget your life story and your diagnoses for a day. Just for a day. Pretend your reality is something different. So often we get used to owning our stories and gaining sympathy, support, and attention from others that we forget these are the stories that hold us back. I'm not trying to be dismissive or negative -- your story sounds awful, and I'm sorry, I truly am. I too have abusive relationships and parental suicide attempts in my past, but I have worked with a great therapist and have gotten over my past, to the point where I learned to not reflect on these things or to identify with them any longer.
You deserve to be free. You deserve to learn who you are and what you are capable of. You deserve to enjoy your life and to be happy. You really, truly do.
My experience was loneliness, divorce and basically no positive coping skills to bring myself to stop the grips of gambling. Awhile back I read "Born to Lose" about a guy who was a compulsive gambler. I can only hope that he is still helping the GA members. Its a hard addiction, but like addictions, you have to break the cycle. Sounds easy enough but I think of me and my ex fighting about this and that.....slowly I broke the cycle of staying mad and eventually walked another path. Letting go has been my Mantra for many years. With people, with anything that troubles you or takes you to a place that is out of control. Another is "if you like it, I love it" or agree to disagree....sounds stupid enough but it has helped me in life. One day at a time and try to gain trust in yourself....as you read these posts, it will give you strength, at least it has for me.
Are you getting the right medication check that.
Get a book AWARENESS by anthony de mello.
Its not standard self help. Its radical. Its almost anti Psychological. Dont worry its not new age or any of that stuff
Plus its free just goggle AWARENESS anthony de mello PDF. You will get it. Takes less than 3 hours to read
Its free on the internet