It's called addiction and it will kill you dead or make you wish you were if you let it. Now is the time to fight like hell for you're life and future happiness. You have got to want this like there is no tomorrow. You can only do this with some help from outside sources. Countless failures are only driving you further into the abyss. Reach out to someone close to hold your funds until you are in control. It is the only way. No bullets, no action. That simple.

Hi Ali, please don't do anything to hurt yourself...don't let this addiction win! You did the right thing posting.

Just ask anyone on this site & they'll tell you they've been thru this exact same thing you are. Personally, I used to not be able to stay away from the casino & gambling for even a week. But, I kept trying to quit gambling MANY, MANY times and now its been months that I haven't gambled.

It doesn't matter how many times you try, what matters is you muster up the courage to fight the good fight! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! FIGHT, DAMMIT!!!

((((((( Ali )))))))

Please don't give up ... there is a way out of this ... please get the help you deserve:-)

Dear ali, I promise you..... there is help and there is hope. I am just like you. I had the same thoughts. I thought it would never end and I couldn't understand why my strong self couldn't make it stop. Finally, the time comes when you have no choice but to admit defeat and reach out for support. It's the only way to stop it. When my time was up I called the gambling hotline in my state. They were my support at that moment and they paved the way for any future support I would need. I am still in the baby stages of recovery but I have regained hope for the first time in a long time and you will, too. Please, please, take good care of your 'self' before all else. How are you doing today?

What are you offering yourself in place of going to the casino. What incentive are you giving yourself. How about paying for a full body massage instead of going out, see if you can do something else on Friday. Volunteer somewhere, take a class, go to a concert, meet up to play board games, go to a GA or AA meeting. (We can gain from AA even if we are not alcoholics.)
I helped me to do art work, volunteer, keep a gratitude diary, meet other people in recovery from gambling and NEVER carry more than $19 with me. ($20 bills are a trigger for me.)
Prayers and hugs

Ali do not give up. There are other options to help you with this addiction as the others mentioned.

Suicide is not the answer.

There's a whole new life waiting for you. All that stands between you and that new life is time.

I quit six months ago, and my entire life is different. I am married. I live in an apartment in the city, which I couldn't have been able to afford while gambling. I no longer have bill collectors calling. I have a savings. My productivity at work has soared. My company's revenues are up 50% over last year -- and that's while I was spending half of the year gambling! (Quit in June).

Most of all, though, is the inner change. I don't fear being "found out." I don't distrust myself with money. I don't have to lie, cheat, steal, or borrow well over my means for anything. I am at peace.

It was not pretty getting here, but I also can't believe it was only six months ago I was scraping the floor of my car for pennies. Only six months ago I was lying to my then-fiance about where I was going every night. Only six months ago I was forgetting to shower because I was either at work or at the casino so much.

You can change, too. But first you have to believe in a new future and know it is worth so much more than the short-term pleasures of gambling. Trust me.