Broke and arrested is where I got and narrowly avoided suicide. You have been coming to this site long enough that it seems you should have had time to put some barriers between you and your money. There are a variety of ways people do this. Why haven't you? You don't want to give up control? You are hoping to be a social gambler again? It is your only joy in life? Is it the only thing that gives you relief from the stress and bad feelings you are going through? Do you still hold the belief that you can get ahead? (For the last ten years every time I won I did what you did in your post above - gave it back - either right away or over the next few days.) Winning and the $ at the end was no longer my goal, the goal was just to keep it up, keep pumping the dopamine.

I remember everything else being boring and uninteresting when I first quit, for maybe the first three months. You need to withdraw from the dopamine that gambling continues to spike through your body before other things will become pleasurable again. I went through the motions, even if my heart was not in it, I made myself exercise, I made myself rekindle friendships, I made myself get out the art supplies when I got bored or anxious, I made myself call for help, I made myself get back to some hobbies, I made myself to be more mindful, I made myself deal with roots of my addictions in therapy.
Today, at 340 days of abstinence, I do not want to live without exercise, friends, a support group, taking care of myself, having hobbies, relaxing truly, enjoying life and most of all feeling self-worth and self love for the first time in a very long time.

I send you hugs and prayers my friend and please remember that recovery is a process and that relapses are not "failures" but "learning opportunities" about the weaknesses we have in our recovery plan.

you stopped long enough to type that.... so, hmmm you can stop right??

its staying stopped, do you really truly believe you cant stop, come on, thats nonsense, we all have the ability to do this, you have to want it

i heard a great saying the other day, someone had to do something very difficult and the person said "how are you ever going to do it"

their reply was "i have no idea, but something inside of me does"

find your inner you the person you were before you got addicted, you find it by removing yourself from the problem and the patterns

tonite is a GA mtg by phone i'll post the details - just call in and listen, maybe take the test and start today - cant get worse? or can it?

I wished I would have stopped before I was $10,000 in debt. I wished I would have stopped before I was $20,000, $30,000, $60,000, $80,000 or $100,000 in debt. Guess what? I am overwhelmingly relieved I stopped at $115,000 in debt. Because as bad as it may seem today it could always get worse and certainly would have if I didn't stop gambling. Fortunately I didn't find myself in legal trouble and I never lost my job. But that's where things were heading. I just filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy to deal with the mountain of debt I created by gambling. In 5 years I will have all my debts paid off. I am also using that time to transform myself into the person I was destined to be physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. The person I was too scared to be 20 years ago.

If you don't stop now your life will only get worse. This is a guarantee. You have to make a choice. Like the quote says "get busy living or get busy dying."

I have to agree with all the comments...yet, I am not nearly where all this wonderful people are today! However, I learned from them (thank you all btw) is that we have to get TOUGHER WITH OURSELVES.

I learned from this site about making a plan.....YOU have to do that! We can flounder in our feeling of yuk the day after and after that and etc etc...and we can start with day one's again and again! We might have to from time and time again.

The most important thing is ....we pick ourself up and start all over again! STRONGER EVERY TIME...until we make it! Day 5, Day 15 Day 300 etc!

I have learned I have to want it bad enough to really want to be tough with myself and change! Alcohol and gambling is my culprit.

So I have stopped carrying my debt card......almost at all times now since I had a relapse 5 days ago, but was about 30 days in prior to that! I have limited my cash! I also plan in the next couple days to put a limit on my debit card and what I can withdraw!

The bottom line is ...you have to make a change and you have to be willing to START! One day one step.

I have a long long long long way to go....but, I know I have to work harder and I plan to, I hope by the grace of God I will get there and no longer be afraid of me!

Good luck....come on, you can do this! We have your back!

I wasted around ten years of my life gambling. When I wasn't gambling I was thinking about gambling and counting the days when it would be OK to go again. It is not easy to stop when it has become such a big part of your life. But you can stop. Does your state have a self-banning mechanism? That is a really effective first step, making it illegal for you to enter the casino. Many other steps after that, as others have described so well. It took me a couple years to truly stop gambling, a few slip-ups, but now at around five years the idea of entering a casino and becoming re-addicted has no appeal.

I tried self banning, but it seems that I can still gamble. They have kicked me out a few times, but I have been able to walk in and gamble as much as I want. The casinos here are on the Indian reservations and do not follow the same rules as others might have to.

Ali, if you're going to gamble you're going to gamble, nothing we say can stop it, , so with or without self ban you have to live in a world that supplies gambling in one form or another - ALL OF US HAVE ACCESS TO CASINOS, but CHOOSE, not to go....get your life together

read/listen/follow/get it in your head that the longer you stay away the more strength you have, you are high on drugs - crash - stablize - want the crave again, thats the moment you say no more

can you try at least?

Things will be boring for a while. My last bet was placed 12 days ago. I have many moons to go but seeing slight improvement. My workouts have been better because I'm more focused on them because I'm not focusing on gambling. I'm cooking new foods instead of spending time handicapping sports games to bet on. Doing more around the house. Trying to appreciate more instead of relying on the gambling rush. Life without it is better. We don't need it. The others prior to me also listed great ideas. You have to want to stop. Be positive about it. Really want it!

Going to gamble at a Casino where you are banned isn't even gambling. You have ZERO possibility of winning now. The only thing you are doing is giving them your money, if you won you would not be able to collect and might be arrested. So you are truly down to gambling with your life. (No longer just a metaphor.) You may have reached the ultimate absurdity and insanity that gambling leads us to.
Life can be so much better.
P.S. I live on less than minimum of unemployment, less than $200 per month and am happier now than when I earned over 35K a year. I have much to be grateful for. You will too.

I feel your pain and I'd imagine most of the folks here can as well.
The cycle of remorse and despair and then boredom leading us to the next bet is really just our disease speaking to us. It will pass.
The true first step is admitting and owning the fact that you are a compulsive gambler- a gambler that can't stop and leave the game. If you get that, then you know you can't make that next bet because it will always lead to the cycle above.
I don't pretend to know all your circumstances and won't try to, but if you can fight off that urge and really think about what gambling has brought you, take a stand and say stop, you can do it.
If you still think that gambling will solve the problems you've described, you're not seeing the light.
Hang in there.
Jay

@ali85m - Why aren't most of us Olympians? It's good money. It looks like it's fun to have your name called and people cheering for you. Or why don't we all just become billionaires? It's arguably a free market, capitalistic society. Why don't we all just work 50-60 hour weeks, become entrepreneurs and inventors, and live in mansions?

Most people don't do these things because they're hard. Because they don't feel that they can. Because the long-term rewards of doing these things aren't worth the short-term mental, emotional, and physical efforts and sacrifices. Because it's easier and more pleasurable to do what you've been doing.

Overcoming gambling addiction may not be praised in society as being as Herculean as becoming an Olympic athlete or a self-made billionaire, but I assure you, it is every bit as difficult for an addict to aspire to become addiction-free as it is for a regular citizen to achieve their dreams.

You have to realize the long-term payoff is well worth the short-term pain. It does get better.

You have to realize the only moment you have is the present moment. It's clarity, not willpower. Be clear with yourself about why you can't gamble: for yourself, for your family, for your friends, for your employment, for your future, for your life, for your safety, for your sanity. Realize the short-term pain is worth it.

My first 30 days were hell and the next 90 had days where I wanted to crawl out of my skin some days. But if people can become Olympians, self-made billionaires, lose 300 pounds, and get off cocaine -- and they do every single day -- then we can do this, dearie. Just one day at a time. If that is too much, then just one hour at a time. You can do it. We're here for you.