Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Last year around Thanksgiving I banned because I had spent my daughter’s bill money I was supposed to put in the bank, a breaking point I would say. Also I used to go with my sister, my only adult interaction and socializing. But her boyfriend lost his job and she didn’t have time for me anymore so that made it easy to band as well.
3 months later February 2018, I went to another casino in a neaigboring state with my sister. Had fun because she is the only person I was socializing with. Her boyfriend had gotten a job out of town so I now We are there every week spending more than I did at the casinos in my back yard.
Anyway the casino was giving me large amounts of free play and I was back to loosing paychecks again. Borrowed from my retirement and lost in one night but that did stop me. I confided in my sister and told her I would band from there too but she just told me to stop going and give her the free play. Lol, a gambler can’t just stop without help and I looked for her to help.
Nonetheless continued to go and loosing weekly. But it was almost as if we were in it together, until her boyfriend is back and there she goes again gone.
Daily calls have gone to none from her, I call and no answer( she doesn’t work) so I’m feeling sad and depressed. Called and told her I lost everything no gas money, food or anything and the next day I didn’t get a call for her to say “ how are you” are you ok nothing. Thinking about it makes me sad but this is the second time that I have allowed this to happen so I blame myself.
I filed chapter 11 and although I pay a trustee back money, I have not paid some of my other bills and I’m scared to open my mail again. I don’t know what will happen with that.
I am going through depression from all of this, can’t do anything around the house just staring at the TV. I put on a brave face for my kids, but inside I’m deteraiting.
Anyway today I banned myself from the casino and I’m pleased I didn’t talk to her about it.
The holidays will be over and I will be starting over again at 50, but I’m getting a good start.
I could not quit until I got to therapy for several weeks, I had gambled with other people's money, (they trusted me with), facing prison and suicide. Still, there was a tiny voice inside me, that said I was more than the sum of my bad behaviors and I deserved a better life. I started over at 59 with no job, no home, no car and I added a criminal record, and a bankruptcy to make it tougher.
It is only due to the love of friends that I avoided prison and survived through withdrawal and until now. It is due to a great counselor and some very hard work on my part, that I have over four years of abstinence. Some depression is normal and to be expected, when you are withdrawing from gambling, you are no longer getting the massive doses of dopamine that gambling induces. You might want to call the National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-522-4700, real people that understand gambling addiction can talk to you and tell you want resources are available near you. Going to GA helps us have an instant support group and made me realize I was not alone, nor was I the worst case ever of gambling addict.
On the bills: There is no debtors prison any more - you may be violating the terms of your chapter 11 by accumulating more debt, but generally the utility companies will allow two months in the rears before shutting you off and most creditors will work with you if you call them. Once you make it to Friday at 5, nothing new is happening legally, until Monday.
Take it easy with yourself, you are vulnerable now, you need to act as your own best friend, and just do the next right thing, one thing at a time. Breathe, be thankful you have another chance and move with mindfulness as you get on with this recovery journey. You may need to perform plastic surgery. (Cut up the credit cards.) Some people have a friend set their PIN on their debit card and not tell it to them, so they can only make purchases not get cash with it. Do as much self-care as you can. Hugs
Compulsive gambling leads to a living hell, recovery is the journey out. And what a journey it’s been for me, so far, 21 months! Rock bottom is a scary and lonely existence, recovery has to start somewhere and that’s day one. It’s a very personal choice to attack any addiction,and there will be people who have no idea what you’re doing, but that’s okay. It takes time and patience to start thinking about doing what is the next right thing for you. Many times that might be to sit quietly and relax, other times it might be summing up the courage to open your mail, be brave, you can do this. Be kind to yourself going forward, you’ve already beat yourself up enough.
I can only speak for myself, but I’m learning to love myself a little bit more each day,and to be my own best friend. I think about the advice I’d give to a friend and try to apply it to my own life. We know how easy it is to give advice, but it can be hard to listen to our own good advice. In other words don’t be so hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. Easy to say, I know.
Qwit4good has been a pillar of strength for me here, she has wonder words of wisdom and I’m pleased to call her a friend.
Stay here with us because we need you as much as you need us.
Peace and Love