so i finally put an end to an one/off relationship i had, i felt very happy/proud i did it and anxious and i had a couple of drinks to calm/relax.... and then the overwhelmingly feeling started to go to the casino and have a "night out to enjoy and celebrate my independence"
so i know most of the time it hits i can handle it, this time was different, i jumped up ran got the card, went to ATM, and withdrew the money, at that moment in the atm vestibule, i looked up at the ceiling (to god) "ummmmm arent you going to stop me"? youre really the only one who can, well?
as i left the door closed and my phone rang (divine intervention)? hmmmmm i'd like to think so, my friend, asking me to meet for drinks/dinner, and for a minute i was like, i can go to the casino and get back and have dinner w/her....uyyyy...how the addictive brain works, so i tell myself drive, go w/the money to the veg/fruit stand and just walk around calmly (i like going there seeing the plants/things for the fall season)
it was just enough to make me turn around, im kinda scared of myself and the power this has, my sunday morning would have been BRUTAL, but instead i went to my daughters cheer game and enjoyed the day, god give me strength to fight the next one....im counting on you, cause i cant do this w/o you
I am so upset today. I would go out and gamble today if a casino was open. I tried reading some posts; can't say it has helped me today. Tired of my computer, tired of househld chores, how much food can you eat and how many times can you go grocery shoping? Wondering if someone could make a post here when they get to go to a face to face meeting. I stoped going to meetings regularly; I am not on...
Hi! It's been 1 year and 4 months since my last bet!