Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Hi everyone,
I've been missing in action for the last 3 months since my relapse back in September 2010.
I want to share my 2010 story in the hope it helps others.
1) Stopped gambling back in Jan 10
2) Gamble free for almost 9 monts
3) Relapsed and gambled on & off for the past 3 months
Ok, not a total sucess but here's the thing......
1) Number of times gamble in 2010 - about 25 times
2) Stop for almost 9 months so can do it again
3) Reduced my debt by about half
4) Took a trip overseas
5) Acheived some goals which I set-out at the start of the year
Overall not too bad. I cannot image what it would have been like if I didn't decide to quit early 2010!
Really interesting reflecting back on the goals and previous journals as well.
I have set-up another gamble and starting the count all over again, so tomorrow is day 1. I always have my journals and previous goals to go back on to know that it's not really like day 1 again but for me it's the matter of principle.
Anyway, welcome all feedback and comments and i plan to be much more active again on the site.
Hope all are doing well.
Cheers
I've been missing in action for the last 3 months since my relapse back in September 2010.
I want to share my 2010 story in the hope it helps others.
1) Stopped gambling back in Jan 10
2) Gamble free for almost 9 monts
3) Relapsed and gambled on & off for the past 3 months
Ok, not a total sucess but here's the thing......
1) Number of times gamble in 2010 - about 25 times
2) Stop for almost 9 months so can do it again
3) Reduced my debt by about half
4) Took a trip overseas
5) Acheived some goals which I set-out at the start of the year
Overall not too bad. I cannot image what it would have been like if I didn't decide to quit early 2010!
Really interesting reflecting back on the goals and previous journals as well.
I have set-up another gamble and starting the count all over again, so tomorrow is day 1. I always have my journals and previous goals to go back on to know that it's not really like day 1 again but for me it's the matter of principle.
Anyway, welcome all feedback and comments and i plan to be much more active again on the site.
Hope all are doing well.
Cheers
I have inflicted so much pain on my own self and loved ones for which I will never forgive myself. My fiancee alwqays stood by me bailing me out numerous times and endured so much pain because of my addiction. I remember many nights where I would sneak out when she was asleep, go to casino and coming back at 3 am with every thing lost. Our mortgage money, her student loans, our car payments, utility bills etc etc. My fiancee would wake up some timess and call me 20 times, everytime I would ignore while busy in my gambling action. I come home and she would see the look on my face, thinking about tomorrow..What is going to happen with our joint account..every thing will be bouncing back because there is no money in the account,,all the nsf fees, the embaressing calls from banks, utlity companies threatening to cut off our utilities, no gas in car, noi groceries in fridge...She would start crying in the middle of night, tears coming out of her eyes and I wold sit there staring at her and feeling sooo sooooo ashamed, my heart beleding and beating so hard, not because of what will happen tomorow with bills, but just looking at the woman that I love so much and yet I will put her through so much pain and misery..Her weeping would trun in to crying and my God, I would hit my head on the wall to punish myself for what I have done to the single person that I love so much in my life. The pain and agony that I have caused to myself, my fiancee and my family, I cannot put in to words. I just hope that I will redeem myself and earn the respect and pride that I once had. I am on my path of recovery, please pray for me as I will pray for all of you. We live this life once so lets live it on our terms because it is our life and " Your life is what you make of it". We make our own destiny. I do not want to end up as a life long looser. What will I tell my kids and grand kids? What would people tell my kids that they are kids of a gambler who lost every thing? I want my pride and self esteem back. And the only way I am getting it back is....By not gambling every day..not tomorrow or thinking about what I did in past,,but just TODAY I am not going to gamble. God bless