Friends til the end Community Group
A group for those of us here who get more from our friendships than from the available discussion groups. A place to be accepted and appreciated for who we are. Somewhere to always feel safe and know that especially on the bad days we are here for each other .A place for encouragement and love.
PUN0GRAPHY
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..
· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..
· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
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" Name A Term Used In Football " ?
I tried to catch some fog. I mist. LOL
Never trust atoms, they make up everything.
What you seize is what you get.
I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
Past, Present and Future walked into a Bar.
It was tense.
What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence ?
Udder destruction.
Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing ?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.
A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made
up a pun about the situation.
He immediately shouted, " Oh, pun the door " !
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
Be kind to your dentist.
He has fillings, too.
It was a play on words.
What you seize is what you get.
I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
Past, Present and Future walked into a Bar.
It was tense.
What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence ?
Udder destruction.
Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing ?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.
A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet,
and told he would not be released until he made
up a pun about the situation.
He immediately shouted, " Oh, pun the door " !
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
Be kind to your dentist.
He has fillings, too.
Yes, what?
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P
How do you change tires on a duck ?
With a quackerjack.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft ?
A flat miner.
Where does McDonald's get its burgers from ?
Macau.
When does a boat show affection ?
When it hugs the shore.
They arrested the Chrysler salesman and he couldn't a-Ford bail.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I used to be a teacher, but found I didn't have enough class.
I tried looking for gold, but it didn't pan out.
Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
Old milkmaids never die, they just lose their whey.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again
that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
What did Godzilla say after eating a four-cylinder Datsun ?
" Gosh, I could have had a V-8 " !
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.
He did a number on it.
What did the toy store sign say ?
Don't feed the animals.
They are already stuffed.
When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.
I usually take steps to avoid elevators.
My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
It's true.
But, unfortunately, a fire destroyed all the league
records, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.