the system does suck, i have been in foster care for 11 years now, im tosed from home to home. i dont think i have ever had a good foster parent. and what the fuck is with this, i repot a couple of them for abuse and neglect and i get put in a new worse abusive home and the other ones just get new kids......they didnt get there licenece taken away or anything

I agree the system does suck but i try to make it better by treating the kids i get right.

Hi, I am new to this site. I am 61, married with one son, husband and our precious cat, Pepper. I came into the foster care system in the 50's. My bio mother was a prostitute and I was taken away from her at the age of 2. Then I was put in a foster home for the next 16 years. I was one of 10 foster kids. I was sexually, emotionally and physically abused by these 2 parents, if that is what you want to call them. No one checked out in the 50's the character of foster parents. How often in my journal writing I would state that all I was was "money in the bank for this family. It was a very dysfunctional abusive family, so as you can see I have nothing good to say about foster homes because I did not live in one where I was treated with love and concern and caring. My foster father was the one who sexually abused me and his wife was the one who emotionally and physically abused me and the other foster kids. Then when the foster died in 1964 I went to live with their bio daughter for 7 years. She was an alcoholic and was verbally abusive and at times while I was a teenager, physically abusive. I finally left when I married my husband in 1971 and moved to Pennsylvania. It was the best thing I could have done. Move from the insanity of that family. All their own bio kids, adults, were as screwed up as the foster parents were. They abused their kids as well.

So as you see abuse can be handed down from generation to generation. I, on the other hand, broke that chain of abuse. I am very proud of the fact that I was a good parent to my bio child Sean. Had a sensitive heart and would not even spank him when he was a child. Never demeaned him or hurt him in ways that he would some day hate me. For that I am grateful. Also spent 20 years in and out of therapy to heal from the abuse.
I have to agree with most of the people here who say that foster care sucks. It did for me, but now I am in charge of my life, how I view myself, unlike how the foster parents viewed me, as a paycheck. How else could I feel. They never loved me as you can see by this post. I was nothing, unworthy of love, but now I know I am deserving of love and caring. My hope is that the foster care system has changed and that foster care parents are really, really checked into. As one poster said they were a slave. I can relate.
If I can in any way change the way foster children are put into these homes, I am here to help. We foster kids get a double whammy when taken from our bio parents and then put in an abusive home. The people in these homes should be interviewed, relatives interviewed, friends interviewed by social workers so those social workers are not putting foster kids at risk for more abuse.
I know that not ALL foster parents are like the ones I have had to deal with, but I am jaded by the system.

I'm glad to hear all of the foster kids replies.
Let me tell you, I didn't go into foster care for the money, rather I was in hopes of foster to adopt. However, in my area there was not as much the need to adopt, but rather do emergency receiving. So I said yes because I want to help.
It has been hard and not what I expected, but with communities like this it is helpful. The people I have found in this group can inspire you and help you refresh so you can keep on going.
I do love my kids even though they are challenging and the situation they are in is even more challenging, I'm going to stick to it.
But hey... all I can say is if you are having a bad time and the home you are in is really bad, tell your case worker. Or even better if you can start with the foster mom or dad. I would much rather someone come to me and tell me that I'm making their life hellish so that I could change and make
it right.
Luckily, ya'll are old enough to communicate and share your feelings.
Have a good one and chin up.
E

I feel all of your pain foster homes suck group homes suck and so do alot of the institusions, I wish I could help all of you but please don't run I spent years on the streets and saw things I"m still trying to forget...............

Been working in the Child Welfare Service Agency for over 8 years. I've seen good and bad foster parents. But i have to agree with an earlier post the worst thing to do is run away from a home. The more placements you go through the harder it is to place you in a home that will be a good match for you.

I am a foster parent to a 2 year old and a 4 year old...I feel bad for them..they do not have a future right now....we try to do the best for them...but i think the system fails them...family members do not want the parents to get them back they are trying to fight for them...but who knows...I wish you kids had a voice.....the money for me is not much...but i guess if you had a lot of kids you could make money..i get $100.00 per child every 2 weeks...i have one in diapers and one in pullups...so the for me is nothing it is the children i care and worry about...I pray for u all...Headywig