foster care sucks..the system is so fucked up!

i totaly agree. they say it be better for me be in foster but i think its more messed up. it sucks going somwere you have no clue about and feeling like you totaly dont belong to just get yelled at or hit or whatever they feel like dong then sent to anothr home like you dont matter. totaly sucks

idk if i completely agree...i agree that it sucks moving and the feeling of always watching to see if they will send you to another house. i havent even unpacked cuz i know ill prob. have to move again. but i also no that every foster home I've been in there all better than being home at my house with my parents....

your right in some ways. foster care is kinda better i guess. its just you get used to how things are at home and you find ways to deal and its kinda normal you no? but foster care most people let you no its not your home and your just there cause of the money and just feeling like you dont mater at all. at least at home in some sick way i was wanted. even if it was for sick reasons. i should probly shut up i think im starting sound sick. weres my bro to back me up?

I'm right here Adam. I'm here to back you up. I got your back!
Your right. Foster is kinda like a fake reality. They say "Come in and make yourself at home..." as they put away all their money and jewelry. "...Make this your home. But please don't touch that. Oh and not that either. And I don't like loud noises. Can you please wash the dishes? You're a dear boy. And after you've done that you can have a cookie." Keep you're COOKIE you old HAG!

I hated foster care. If I wasn't their slave I was their son's sex toy, or their Dad's. Only once I had a good home and then I was taken away from them because my behavior was changing. Duh! It happens when your not not being abused. Emotions start coming out. Tears fall. Hugs are wanted.

And then the state care pulls up to take you away. Thank God my Mom found me!

Liam
Big Bro to Jinxys

I'm 33 years old and I grew up in foster care and I have been a foster parent off and on for 5 years. I agree the system is messed up and Im going to college now to try to help fix the system for those of you who are still there. If there is anything I can do for any of you give me a hollar

Is this for youth, or can former foster youth come here too?

I agree with track101 that foster care CAN be better than being at home, if the home is really not a safe place for the child, but social services doesn't seem to always check if a report is falsified or not. My home was a safe place, with a parent that was able and willing to care for my brothers and I, but we were stuck in group homes and foster homes for a decade.

Are they paid according to the number of kids they displace. It would explain things a bit.

i disagree my foster carers are the best thing thathave ever happened to me i really dont know what i would do without then they have acctually saved my life on more than one occasion and they have dealt with my self harm amazingly even tough they have never come across it before and i wil be eternally greatful

I feel I have to be fair. I'm is a foster home now. They are separated now but they are trying to adopt me. My foster mom. Mom is a great mom and she cools, and cleans, give hugs, kisses me at night when she thinks I'm asleep. I guess it depends who you get and how much they really love you. Some do it for the money. My mom does it because she loves me. 'nough said.

i think being in a foster home was the best thing that happened to me back then..dunno, maybe i was blessed with a really nice foster parent : )

I have had on foster family that was wonderful beyond words. So I don't mean to sound as if I bash all foster homes, but the majority of homes I've been in did not seem to care much at all.

But there are some really good ones out there, that really do care.

Foster homes can range anwhere from being miserable to being wonderful just like anything else. I was in one home where the lady shoved my head in a toilet for throwing up when it was inconvenient for her and where she let her daughter force me outside without any clothes on and she just laughed about it. So it was nice to be moved into a foster home where the worst that happened was that I felt like a live-in slave and where it seemed that my older sister and I that were the only kids out of seven kids that ever did any work around the house. The rest were all natural born children. I'm not sure if that was just my immagination or if it was real, but my sister ran away very young and I did the same when I was about 16. The rest of the kids did the same too so maybe we all felt the same way. I've never been back to live and I have no regrets except that leaving when I did, caused me to miss out on alot of things that "normal" kids get to experience. I never to the prom or graduated in a cap and gown, and because I left when I did, I only found out too late that I could have gone to college on a Pell Grant. I can never get any of that back and it took a very long time for me to realize that my "foster" parents were just struggling to adjust, just as I was trying to adjust. It was just as hard on them as it was on the foster child.

I know this because I took in my neice after my sister passed away. I thought that my experience as a foster child would allow me to better be able to help my neice and would allow me to be kinder to her. As it turns out, she had so many psychological issues as a result of her mother's death that I could not reach her and she began to tear my family apart. After five years of fear that she would harm one of us, she finally was able to push us into having to make a painful choice of giving up custody when she began to accuse various people of things they we later found out they were not doing. We could not take the risk that she would accuse my husband or son of something that they would not even think of doing.

May parents, as I now call them, and I now get along very well and we actually love each other. I see them and their strenghs and vunerabilities now as I could not see them when I was younger.

Believe me, the money that social services provides is not nearly enough to pay for all of a foster child's needs. The money just seems like a lot more to a child who has little or no earning power.

If I can be of any help to any of you, please let me know. I'll do what I can.

hi, it has been a long time ago, just like yesterday. First homes found by relatives through churches, then the court system said Hey you can't do that and put me in foster care. Quite the Steven King kinda childhood, many of you would know what I mean. The strength I found was inside me all along, this site could be so great for supporting each other because you can understand each other. I have found that normal is some where on Mars, that everybody behind closed doors is different once that door closes. Teachers,Dr.'s, lawyers, everybody. I now have spent more time being in charge of me than the time spent as kid and a teen and that is SSSOOOOoo important to know. Hang in there the best you can. Do music, write, art, learn learn learn, that can never be taken from you and will only make things better and keep you busy till you are able to take care and charge of your self. I liked my 30's on. When I could support my self my 20's got better. I don't mean to sound pollyannish or preachy, just wanted to say hi.

Hi i'm a foster parent also..yes the system sucks, but nothing ever runs perfectly there is always going to be ups and downs in the system..and no matter how much they change the system there's always going to be people that aren't happy with it. I know that it's very hard for kids to live in foster care, but it's not the foster parents fault that the children are in care..so i don't really understand why all the anger, resentment, rebellion is taken out on the foster parents!

hugs to all of you in foster care.