Welcome to the club hun! There are 7 in my hubby's family and he and I take care of his parents! I also took care of my parents too but I had a sister and sister-in-law who did a tremendous amount! This will be your calling hun' cuz one of you needs to let your mother know you care! With some help you can do it! This is nothing compared to end stage cancer and Alzheimer's. It may seem like a lot to bear right now but in the end you will know you did the right thing.

problem is.... i been looking after my mom for years. it's been since 2002! my mom has 4 kids and i'm the ONLY ONE that ever gave a crap!!! her leg almost got amputated back then and i canceled my active duty orders (back in the military) to look after her. don't you think my lazy ass good for nothing brothers should DO something??? there's 3 of them and one of me!

i'm burnt out! her 3 other sons are healthy! they should step up and MAN UP and take some freakin responsibility!

i can barely do small things for MYSELF let alone for her anymore.... it hurts to get dressed, and i get exhausted just getting a shower. how on Earth am i supposed to get HER a shower??
this is bogus............................................................................

ps. i'm doing this ALONE. you have your husband and your sister and your sister inlaw.

plus i have a back injury left over from the military.

Sorry blue, that's just the way it is. Most men think the women are the caretakers. Regardless of how you feel about your bros try not to let your mother know how you feel about it cuz' I'm sure she feels bad enough already. If you need to blow up at them try to do so in private.

trust me i've been FUMING to them about it! they have been hearing me ROAR!

so much for being "MEN".... can't even take care of their own family! just gonna let her wither away like this

when my younger bro gets back tonight ill be in his face AGAIN! i heard him actually YELLING at her this morning becaus she told him to wash his own dishes!!! this SOB is 26 and can't even respect her or take care of her GRRRRRRRRRR

Well, if he can't help around there maybe it's time for him to hit the road. He's a big boy now!

oh honey, i know you want to just fall over probably. say your prayers and hang in there. what else can you do?? well except for smacking your brother. he really needs to have his ass kicked, huh? let me know how it goes. im here

yep. i told mom that if he messes up one more time i'm bout to have his crap packed up and toss it out! i can't be watching after her AND HIM! that's too much!

well... thanks for your support.... i really needed it right now. just feeling over burdened a bit.

Blue honey, sadly you are gonna be "stuck" doing it all because
a) you actually step up and do it
b) your balls are protected inside your abdomen
c) no one else will do it
d) did I mention that your balls are on the inside?
Seriously though, its the way its gonna be cuz you ain't gonna let your mama go without help or care, so you can't go on strike. So the boys are gonna keep being boys and not man up. Sadly you'll just have to vent and get past it.
As to the abhorrent treatment your mother received in the ER, I am BEGGING you to do a couple of things for your mom.
1) get an itemized bill from the hospital and ER physician when the finally bill your mom
2) call Medicare when they do bill you to get a "duplicate" copy of the explanation of benefits b/c medicare only sends them to patients every quarter now
3) get medical power of attorney for your mom so if its ever needed you can make these calls for her. I KNOW Medicare will not speak to you b/c of HIPAA and other privacy laws
4) compare the itemization from the hospital to the EOB from medicare and dispute EVERY SINGLE LINE that they bill for that you know for a FACT that your mom did not get.
5) file a complaint with the medical board against the hospital and the ER doc for the ridiculous lack of treatment your mother got
6) inform the hospital and ER doc that they can collect their 20% patient share, deductible and self-administered drugs immediately after they have sucked a fart from your ass because your family is not in the habit of paying for services not rendered

** I, DolphinArtist67, apologize if I have offended anyone in the healthcare industry, Medicare, Insurance or otherwise.

i can empathize BELIEVE ME! ill tell ya whats going on here soon. its my mom too.
what a mess! its killing me physically and emotionally. im falliing right on my face soon, i can feel it. keep hangin honey. tty tomorrow if you can.

I think it's your family duty to beat the crap out of him. LOL !

Make out a schedule and assign each person to a shift. Mail it to them. U gotta get some help or you'll crash and burn.

I forgot to say and what their duties are. Delegate......U cannot do it alone.

My thoughts and prayers are sent for you to get some help and your mom surgery to go smoothly and a speedy recovery.

I believe I would report this to the State Board of Health about the er sending your mom home with out proper care .. causing her undo suffering and possible future problems from the delay in corrective surgery. It appears the surgeon was equally upset with the er for not being contacted.

If the delay causes any future problems with her ankle would contact a attorney.

take care hang in there gentle hugs

Talk to the hospital patient advocates department or doctor if they do not have advocates to see about getting them to help you get the in home help when your mom returns home as she will probably still need it after surgery.

take care gentle hugs