When you start having thoughts related to death it disease like cancer it is likely you have reached the point if clinical depression. Unfortunately depression is heavily associated with fibromyalgia whether it's caused by the constant pain and fatigue or an underlying contributing cause. You should talk to your doctor about your thoughts and feelings. Incorporating an antidepressant or a stronger one if you already take one, may be what is needed. Ignoring the symptoms will not help as these thoughts and feelings are likely to get intense.

I know exactly what you mean! I'm 33 years old and was diagnosed last year. I just told my sister the other day that I feel 83 and an 83 year old probably feels better than this. It's hard dealing with how much my body has changed. I went from doing Insanity workout last year to hardly being able to do Pilates. I took 2 muscle relaxers last night at 9 pm and was wide awake at 1:30 in pain. I get up for work at 6 am and didn't get back to sleep until about 3 am (after I took a tylenol pm). So lets just say i'm not the best work companion today. I know exactly how you feel, I wish people would take me seriously to instead of thinking I'm complaining all the time. I just wish one day I could wake up and feel like my old self.

Melissa

Maysa25,
I too am an RN. I know far too many RNs who have this disease. I have had Fibro for about 16 years now. It is hard, I know. All I can say is that it is all about pacing yourself.
I was in denial of my condition for 6 years before i decided to come into reality and do what i can. PACE YOURSELF. take rest periods. Realize that often depression comes with fibro and chronic fatigue. I encourage you to seek help for the depression part...sounds you are self medicating for depression....
don't have a care about what others think....they will never understand. Have you googled the spoon theory? It is a great explaination that you can share with your family and friends. I wish you well. Hugs to you, and thank you for sharing and opening up.....probably one of the best things you could do for yourself!!

My wife has been battling the debilitating pain of fibromyalgia (FM)since the year 2000. At that time, she had a really bad allergic reaction to medication that nearly killed her. Since that incident, she has been dealing with the pain of living with FM. She had many of the dark thoughts, considered self medicating with alcohol (so grateful she didn't) but did put herself in the hospital while trying to escape from the pain. She has tried all sorts of treatments. Vitamins and supplements, exercise, rest, massage, and multiple presciption medications (Lyrica, Cymbalta, Savella, Prozac, etc). The vitamins, exercise, rest, and massage produces the best results but didn't do enough. The pain was still there and it was getting worse. The side effects of the Rx medications were awful and sometimes would amplify the pain, would create allergic reactions, or simply did not work. A little over a year ago she stopped taking any kind of Rx meds and stuck with the supplements and massage. She was no longer having to deal with the side effects of the medictiaons but the pain wasn't getting any better.

I have empathy for what you are going through. I have lived with it and know that what you are experiencing is very real and wears on you every day. I wish there was more research being done to try and find remedies for the pain that didn't cause side effects. That having been said, five months ago my wife tried essential oils for the first time. She felt better after the first treatment. It didn't eliminate the pain but it made the pain managable. After a few months and trying more of the oils she started to be able to function on a "normal" level. She was able to make plans and actually see them carried out instead of fearing to make plans because the pain would prevent her from doing anything. I have my wife back and it is GREAT! It has made such a positive difference in our lives. She still has times when she experiences pain and she tends to overdo things now that she is feeling better. But she IS feeling better which has made all the difference.

I am 34 just turned yesterday I am a medical assistant and I understand how you feel I have a rare condition called moya moya disease and people look at me like I have ten heads when I tell them that and I also have Fibromyalgia and the doctors do not give me the time of the day because I am in the medical field. I am on disability and I have the I feel like crap today so I don't have to exercise I did that for about six months and gained weight. Now when I am having a crappy day like today I have to push myself to get up and go out and go for a walk even if it is a small walk it is still some exercise.
Sending love and support

Dear Maysa25, Yes, you are getting really good advice here, especially from riverredoo and desparadoLR. I have had FM for 20 years, as a young mom initially. Elavil 20 mg. (low dose anti-depressant) helped with some of the pain and definitely the sleep problem I had. It took me a month to be rid of the dizzy side effects, but it was worth it. Overfatigue can really affect your emotions. I also took Essential Oils(Borage -omega 6) I too am an RN and a Christian and was down to under 100 pounds with my problems and after much prayer got the help and hope I needed. Love,isabelle1954

I'm 35. This disease ruined my life.. I am awake with insomnia now at 7am...no sleep all night..mjust another one of many...but logged on here because I know its where others like me are.

Hi white dolphin..wish I had thought of logging in when I woke at 5am this morning too...pain in neck, pins and needles and numbness became so bad that it woke me. Just had another MRI , still didnt show why the original neck injury was getting worse and symptoms increasing, after being 'stable' for some years. The surgeon just said 'I cant help you'. End of story.

After feeling like the Fibro was under control, I had a couple of bouts of flu-like illnesses and a bad chest infection in recent months and feel like Ive never quite recovered. I still have the nausea, poor appetite and 'shivery' feeling. Worst of all: crushing fatigue.
Doctors seem to just write me off as 'depressed'. I am facing a wall of pain in my whole body every day: wouldn't anyone be depressed?
I also compare myself with 75 yr old mother who gets a lot more done than I do and still very active.

Feeling overwhelmed with the huge amounts of well meaning advice by everyone I meet, or on many websites, all over the internet regarding supplements, alternative therapies, herbs, minerals, miracle foods, allergies, stringent diets etc.
How would anyone afford to try all this! particularly when too sick to work and on disability, there is barely enough to afford the cheapest food items let alone expensive supplements and therapies which 'might' work. Some of the advice is conflicting too.
(Food and supplements in NZ have become increasingly expensive)
Do other people feel this way? how do you filter out what advice to take? It feels like a hall of mirrors sometimes...

I know exactly what you mean. I was 30 when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I had been having the symptoms for years. I am now going to be 44 in November. It bothers me that some 80 and 90 year old women can run circles around me and I'm just hardly getting along. It's frustrating. And some people are not sympathetic to our pain. I have been told I'm just lazy and don't want to work. That's not the case. I would love to work a good full time job making money to where I can make ends meet and then some. But I am stuck without a job and a tiny income from what used to be AFDC. My daughter is now a teenager and I hope she doesn't go through what I am.

Well at least you can better judge what you'll feel like in the future. I have 5 kids cause i always pictured myself healthy and strong and now I'm so worn out and have possibly a 6th on the way lol. Also keep in mind it's just now that people are taking notice. Who knows you might end up with a cure or something soon and all your plans might still be on. Don't count anything out things can always change.

I'm already oldish, at 71. And still find some enjoyments in life. My life is restrained, if I do too much one day, I stay home the next one. It's a hard way to live, can't anticipate how you'll be feeling. This place is a very good place for support and information. They've helped me a lot and continue to do so. Recently, my support group told me to keep my appt. with a neuro. and he gave me mri's and now they show cists on both kydneys, so it's good I went to that first appt.

Life goes on and we must be creative in finding what we can enjoy and value in ourselves. I'm sorry you're still so young, but keep hoping with me, that a cure is coming. Look into Xyrem for good sleep.

The docs kept telling me to lose weight and I would feel better! Lol I have lost over 130 pounds and the only difference is that my bones are more pronounced and when they get touched by anything the pain sets off at about a 15 out of 1-10. I have more energy and can get around a little better (when not in a flare though). Otherwise I feel like I am 95 years old. Hobbling around. UGH!!

20 years from now you will probably be a little worse but try to keep your faith in the Lord that he will get you through this. i have felt exactly the same way its like i used to have so many good days in a month now its one or two a week. i am also having neuro problems that scare the heck out of me, but all any of us can do is keep trying and praying and hopefully u have others to talk to or lean on. if not, thats what were all here for. many gentle hugs to you. and know you are not alone