Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
OK, let's see if DS lets me post.
THey are notified of the Gateway timeout 504 error. No idea if they care, but I did notify a CL, and DS, so here's hoping site maintenance means they'll fix it. Sad truth: This platform isn't customized *enough* and every tweak they make to this format/template? Yep. Another issue arises.
Also, I just realized I spelled it "ther-pay". Well, it's their pay....
***
Today I did it.
I woke up, looked at my profile in th emirror and said, "I like my body."
Now, I've worked to lose the last couple kilos (5 pounds) and tone up more without hurting myself, so finding a place I'm happy to maintain? Huge. Fireworks. Dancing in the street. That kind of thing.
So... Try it.
No, your body ain't perfect.
Big secret: Nobody's body *IS* perfect. Or ever has been. Within the realm of culturally formed standards of "yeah, baby, hot hot hot" or "damn yeah" or "absolutely fit and healthy, yes, quite"... but no, not perfect. B/c perfect is a dream of the fevered oversexed imaginations of those who draw cartoons, adverts, and clothing designs. It's never been real, and can't be.
Great beauties of history would, in fact, today be scorned. Eleanor of Aquitaine, so famed for her beauty in her day that men wrote songs? Today, derided for her nose (I'm guessing, as all accounts agree her cheekbones, lips and eyes were wowza by early medieval European standards).
This week? Marilyn Monroe? Too fat.
The original Gibson Girl, married to eponymous artist Charles Dana Gibson? "pudgy cheeked". I've seen photos of her, versus his illustrations. Illustration here: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/Gibson_Girl_by_Charles_Dana_Gibson.jpg
However, we owe Gibson some serious smackdowns, b/c to quote Wikipedia... Grrr... "The Gibson Girl image that appeared in the 1890s combined elements of older American images of Caucasian female beauty, such as the "fragile lady" and the "voluptuous woman". From the "fragile lady" she took the basic slender lines, and a sense of respectability. From the "voluptuous woman" she took a large bust and hips, but was not vulgar or lewd,[2] as previous images of women with large busts and hips had been depicted. From this combination emerged the Gibson Girl, who was tall and slender, yet with ample bosom, hips and buttocks. She had an exaggerated S-curve torso shape achieved by wearing a swan-bill corset. Images of her epitomized the late 19th- and early 20th-century Western preoccupation with youthful features and ephemeral beauty. Her neck was thin and her hair piled high upon her head in the contemporary bouffant, pompadour, and chignon ("waterfall of curls") fashions. The statuesque, narrow-waisted ideal feminine figure was portrayed as being at ease and stylish."
In other words? Skinny with big boobs and butts. The infantilized features of tiny button noses and pouty mouths? Also GIbson era. Here's the kicker.... His wife Irene didn't have that nose. Or that much hair. Or that much bosom. He basically dreamed up his perfect image of *her*, and inflicted it on America. Oh, and if you need a corset to look like an hourglass? Walk. Away. The Gibson era gave us the Guiness world record for tiniest adult woman waist (known) at 11 inches around. The holder of aforesaid record died before age 25. Imagine that. *eyeroll* BTW, for a whole-body version of Gibson, a very very young Angela Lansbury (US/Brit actress) had the Gibson-beauty features of big eyes, tiny nose, etc. (Well, she did later, too, but everyone remembers her better in her golden years as the only survivor of the small town of murderous psychos in Maine, AKA Cabot Cove. I'm not the only one who wonders if she was a serial killer, since she's the only one to get out of that town alive... )
Other icons of ageless beauty such as anyone painted by Rubens... too fat. Mona Lisa? Lips too thin.
See, you can find nothing but flaws if you *look*... Or you can take the whole and say, "OK!"
And it took me 47 years to get to that point, so.... Easier said than done.
***
So look at *all* of you. Yep, the dreaded head-to-toe. OK, the tummy puffs out. So what? I do ab work. Yeah, the boobs ain't what they used to be. They're still up there. I ain't getting rid of genetically bony knees and elbows, but my muscle tone's improved with the home low-impact aerobics no-weights already, sooo... Yeah. And if I can't wear sexy stuff b/c my pain won't let me, then I'm gonna carry my Pain-Friendly clothing with panache. My sneakers have tie-dyed laces. (True, btw. I found tie-dyed multi-colored laces. Had to do it.)
***
Oh, and male standards? Never been as strict, but the guy who epitomized male wowza in the 1920-30 era of the US was either "rugged to point of ugly-cute" or what we'd now call "effeminate". Male figures changed, too, varying from slender to "built out" to both-at-once (?!), so the icon of male beauty Richard the Lionheart would today be okay (his mom was Eleanor of Aquitaine, btw, good genes) but a Napoleonic-era guy with a gut would be derided today. So there ya go.
***
Now, on to the day. And if DS eats this --- or my report about the error --- I'm gonna lose my freaking mind.
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88FIn 1969 we decided to get married without a big wedding. Most of our friends and family liked large over the top for the time kind of weddings and I did not. First, I didn't see why spending so much money for one day when we have the rest of our lives to live. I have never regretted not having a big formal wedding. Another issue is not liking all the attention. Also, we have gone to big...
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We're all troubled.WSo, to remind ourselves we're not at rock bottom (this is a reverse optimism thing I learned as a kid):We are not living on the island of Krakatoa when the volcano goes boom!Yeah, okay, that sucks.***Toay in 1942, Pierre Laval announced that the way to free France was for Germany to win WW2. Pierre did not win a lot of friends. When the war ended, quite quickly he was tried...
It's gonna be a busy day...running, therapy, walking my dog, cooking, and I think I'm going over to my boyfriend's apartment later. I'm hoping I've pretty much figured out how to run without my IT band hurting (shorter strides, and a specific brand of shoes), and I came up with a modified training plan that should get me to Chicago without adding miles too fast. Now all I have to do is follow it, and hope it goes ok, because there's really no room to slow down. I'm planning to do my long runs on the treadmill because I won't be stranded if something happens, and Chicago is really flat and southern New Hampshire is really not.
Interesting about the Gibson Girls. I love Angela Lansbury, by the way. She is still alive. Murder, She Wrote, is one of my favorite shows. They had her travel quite a bit so all of the murders weren't in Cabot Cove. lol
Too many dreams last night, and not enough sleep. I'm still very anxious about my trip...concerned that the service woman did not get my wheelchair registered right. I think I need to call back for my own peace of mind. It took her 10 minutes just to find me in the computer.
I see my counselor today. Good thing. It's 60 minute appointment. I'm glad I had this appointment before my trip.
And, I've got a giant cold sore blooming on my lip. I'm sure it's stress. That's when this usually happens.
I'll try and get back later. Have a good day.
I say all that to say: Yep. I know about the whole "You can't do that without surgery or corsets or something weird"!
Ida, go ahead, call that woman back, make sure you're set for your peace of mind! Also, LOL, yeah, I know, but Hubby jokes that Cabot Cove didn't have anyone left alive and/or out of jail by the time Jessica Fletcher was done. Mom and Iwatched Murder, She Wrote together. Leave it to my hubby to twist it to a horror movie thing....
BTW, our creek remains MIA. We can confirm one illegal well dried up a feeder, but there's no explanation yet for the main creek or the other feeder. Just none. With the rain we've gotten, etc., it should be normal, and it's worse than it was in the worst drought I ever saw in this creek. Absolutely *no* work on record accoutns for it, so the county is asking the school district if they did something. (Without permits and permission, btw, b/c drying up a creek is considered death of a wetland and those are still protected around here.) The schools are the only thing close enough to the sources to cause that level of interference. Nothing geological has happened since 2011....
On to Nancy Drew, Hydrology Edition...
I'm glad that you like yourself. I've never felt that comfortable in my own skin...then again, I've never felt that comfortable about anything, ever really. :-)
Miki,
Try not to overdo it today. It sounds like you have a great Chicago plan!
ida,
Glad to hear that you're seeing your counselor. I know that my appointment the other day did me a lot of good. I hope that yours does the same!
Well....I've made three full time days in a row here, just barely yesterday. Chatting with my counselor the other day she pointed out that my depression was probably caused by ummmm the lack of mental challenges since the surgery. It turns out that siting in a chair in a semi-comatose state for 5 weeks can cause the mind to do funny things. :-) She suggested that I do ANYTHING to keep my mind working. Other than that...keeping on keeping on with trying to get stronger. It's 7 weeks today...5 more weeks of hip restrictions then I can get serious about getting back to abnormal!
Sending everyone healing ((((hugs)))),
Kel
Miki, my mother always kept junk food in our house too. I learned better eating in college, b/c in high school I starved myself. It sounds like you have a lot planned for your day off. I hope you get some time to rest.
ida, I would call for peace of mind too, there is nothing wrong with that. I'm glad you see your counselor today. I hope it really helps you.
kel, I"m glad counseling helped. It will keep getting better, I think you are doing great considering a hip surgery and fibro. Don't forget to remember you go through a lot, you're a pro. :-) Healing hugs
I really hate the new karate schedule. We were there from 5:45 to 6:45 last night, and boy with drive time, it's so hard getting stuff done in the evening, especially when you've been gone all day. I'm trying to make an appointment with a salon to help cut/style my hair with the new hair extensions. They came in yesterday, and they match my hair perfect, damn I'm good. Haha
I hope everyone has a good day.
Ida yes call if you aren't sure if they have the wheelchair ordered. I hope your counseling apt is a good help to alleviate your anxiety. Traveling is never fun at least not the flying part. Just keep telling yourself that once you get there you get to spoil the grandbaby.
Miki I hope today is treating you better. Dreams seem to be happening to several of us right now. I hate when I wake up and can't remember what I dreamed but know that it is causing anxiety. I hope you get in a good run without pain. I know you can do it.
Kel I know it must be hard wanting things to be normal. Your hip will get there but it is going to take time. I am glad that you are managing work. I hope your day is easier.
I am going to stay indoors as much as possible today. We are under a smog/smoke warning. The sun is shaded by smoke. It was so hot yesterday that I couldn't breathe. It is supposed to be worse today and no real change in sight. Have I said I hate Summer? I do I do I do. I want Autumn.
I will be back later.
Leo, I feel pretty good about myself lately, even though I can’t seem to get rid of this stomach or extra pounds. I don’t have that much to lose, 20 pounds would be nice, but I love to eat too much. I haven’t been as up and down the past couple of years as I have been in the past. I’ve been pretty steady. The only childhood issue I had was when my mom was married to who we later found out was a pedophile. I had a really flat stomach one time and he couldn’t stop looking at me so I gained weight so he’d stop looking at me. I’ve had trouble with my weight ever since. I hope you all find out what happened to your creek. What a mystery!
Miki, sounds like you have a plan for your run in Chicago. I hope your day goes well.
Ida, I hope your trip goes well and you don’t get too exhausted from the preparations.
Kel, so good to hear that you’ve made three full-time days in a row. Also that you found out good information from your counselor. Yeah, who would have thought sitting in a chair in a semi-comatose state for five weeks could be so hard on your mind? Lol I’m glad you’re getting in the swing of things.
I’m getting ready to go on a short road trip with my daughter. I live in North Carolina and she’s in Bristol, so we’re going to meet in Wytheville and then go on to Parkersburg, WV together and have a long weekend together and with family. We are trouble when we get together. The last time we were on a road trip I had my dog with me. Jade just HAS to smoke so she threw out her cigarette (which I don’t like either) and it came back and landed in Chloe’s dog bed. Chloe tried to get out of the smoking dog bed and Jade is taking care of it saying, “Mom, don’t look. Don’t look. Everything’s fine.” LOL So who knows what will happen this time. Luckily, Chloe will be in boarding so we won’t have to worry about her getting caught on fire. Lol My daughter is 28 now and we’re starting to really have fun together. I still have fleas, so I’ve been working on that. I gave everyone baths again this weekend and my cat, Ben, really went nuts. I was pretty scratched up on my arms and have bruises, so I look like I’ve been tortured or something. I put flea treatment on everyone afterwards and I’m still getting fleas off of them when I flea comb them. I think Chloe is bringing them in from the backyard. I hope to spray back there soon, but it rains every couple of days so I don’t know how good that will do. At least I’m not getting as many fleas off of them as I did before the most recent baths.
Hope everyone has a great day.
Susan
Autumn, wow, the heat and smog/smoke warning sound terrible. I hope you’re able to have a good day regardless.
Susan, I'm excited you're going on a road trip with your partner in crime. LOL. I want to visit North Carolina, mainly to go to Elevation Church and see Pastor Steven Furtick live. He is my favorite. If I ever make it out that way I will let you know. I hope you have a great weekend with your family.
Leo, that's pretty strange about the creek and hope they solve the mystery very soon. I think it's awesome that you like your body :). *high five* Wish we all did, but it's so hard. I miss my 20 y/0 Marine Corps body, where I was fit and strong. My only real complaint today is my posture, it's terrible. But I hope when the PT approval comes through they can fix me.
We have no trade winds for a couple of days... so the house became an unbearable sauna yesterday. I had errands to run before and after going to the pool, one of them was CostCo , and of course mom wanted to tag along to every single one (including the pool). And Omg, shopping with mom at CostCo was yikes. She is the most scatterbrained person on the planet. Remind me to not ever do that again.
But I couldn't close / lock up the house because of the rising heat. I didn't want our cats to get sick and I didn't want *us* to get sick when we got home later to a roasting house, so I had to leave all the screen doors and windows open (w/ the ceiling fans on) when we left. I texted a neighbor to give them a heads up, hoping that they could sorta keep an eye out for me (since I saw their cars home).
This time I did some stretching between each lap at the pool and I am noticing a difference today, less soreness. I think I will do it this way from now on.
I have horse therapy this AM, in the earlier slot. My gut's been acting up so I hope I can make it. And then I have an eye appt later to cauterize the tear duct in my L eye this time. I learned the hard way last time when they did the R eye that the numbing drops don't work so at least I know this time what I'll be in for (and I'll probably feel it again).
I haven't been to the ukulele group in a while, I keep missing them. But I think they have a meeting tomorrow (I know it's the 1st Friday of each month) so I am excited to attend.
Back in a sec.
Twin I don't know how you do everything you do. It must be almost impossible to keep up. I can't wait to see a pic of the hair extensions.
Blue I hear you on the heat. I hate shopping especially Costco.
Susan I hope you have an enjoyable weekend. It sounds like you could really use the time off.
I have decided to clean house today so I don't have it to do over the weekend. I don't have too much to do but will have to take breaks. My hands are swollen and tender today from the heat. I got my labs back and the doctor is concerned that my white blood cell count is so high. Of course having RA means that my immune system is attacking me with the wbc so high. I have been really congested the past few days too so I will have to watch it. I am prone to sinus and chest infections. I hope you all have a cooler afternoon.
Now, can we all imagine we're lounging in a nice perfectly temperature'd pool and splashing and having goofy fun and getting awesome fun drinks served to us? Sounds like we need it!
Ida, Murder She Wrote cracks me up. I like the character... but I would not like to be that person who wherever I go someone ends up murdered. Do double check the wheelchair... but also like Autumn said, before you land make sure to remind the stewardess to call you one too. This was a repeated problem for me, I'd get off the plane they'd say there was a wheelchair, but none there.
Kel, I'm glad the counselor helped you figure some things out. I think a major change in general and making adjustments to it can cause some depression, but that's a normal reaction. That's just my observation.... every time my mom goes through a change/ adjustment in her life, she does some crazy stuff. She'll start giving away piles of her treasured art pieces, poetry, etc. She'll redo her will / living will, re-appoint advocates, etc. She'll want to go on a trip and say "goodbye" to a relative. You get the idea. Because what? She (we) moved? Or had knee replacement surgery? People's minds can go to funny places when they are struggling through those new adjustments. Just keep taking it one day at a time and allow yourself grace. I know you'll get there ;) HUGS
Twin, can you and the butt-head alternate taking the girls to karate? I too am excited about your hair extensions! I can't wait to see the new do!
Autumn, sorry the summer is so hot for you. I feel for you... I couldn't deal with it either. Where do you live? Have you ever thought of moving to a cooler place? Maybe on a mountain? Or a different climate all together?
Susan, glad things are looking up at work :). Glad you're going to spend some time with your daughter. That last trip sounded hectic lol.