Hey, Patty. Soft purring hugs (or panting hugs, if you prefer canines;-))

Yeah. The anger? Part of the grief. We lost our healthy selves, our friends and family seem to go with that (hey, why be bothered with loyalty? Oh right, that's why we have pets....).... Been there, done that, doing it right now, it's okay to be angry.

That said, if you can get some counseling for chronic pain and/or grief? It really helps. Because I've been dx'd 20 flipping years and I still get days the FM is what angers me so much! Argh! Then I move back through to acceptance for a while... but sheesh, anger? Yeah. We're all familiar with it.

So sorry it's so sucky, and it's okay to throw a pity party here:-) I'll add cupcake sprinkles! ** * * * * * Ta-da! Now it's a pretty party! (Feel free to facepalm. My husband often does.)

We're here. Vent on!

Leo

you have every right to be angry, fibro has stolen your life as you know it and it sucks! Be angry, punch a pillow, yell and scream. Get it out and then start planning for a new start. Join a club, a book club at the library, something you can look forward to and socialize with others once a month. Perhaps you could join a water exercise program for people with arthritis, those are good and can help reduce the pain. There you will meet others who understand you.

I know what it is like to loss friends, many of mine ran for the hills when I got hospitalized with PTSD. Professionals do not want to be associated with mental health patients. I found out who my true friends were for sure. Those that do not stick around when the going gets tough are not true friends. True friends accept you the way you and make time to do things with you or come to visit.

Start at square one and start building new stronger friendships. It sucks you have to do this, but I think you will find even better friends in the long run.

I feel your pain, Patty! I'm right there with you! I'm hurt and angry, too!
I don't have many friends. Every time I make new ones they don't stick around for very long. And lately my husband and I have been arguing a lot because he's somehow gotten the idea in his mind that's it's ok to go off on his own program and do a bunch of fun things with out talking to me or spending any time with me. And last night as I was yelling at him about it, he said, "Well I'm physically active and you're not. So what do you want me do about it." That really hurt!!! Than after I walked away he came back into the room, sat next to me and told me he's tired of my bullsh*t, tired of of me being mad him and that maybe we should think about taking a break. All because I've been begging him to spend more time with me????? :(

You have every right to be angry. But, you should not let it rule your life. That is not productive and generally makes FMS symptoms worse. We all have periodic pity parties. I make a point of putting a time limit on mine.

I've lost friends and even family members don't call or visit very often. It's hard now only if I dwell on it. I've retooled my life with new interests better suited to my physical limitations. I've also figured out how to manage house cleaning and laundry by thinking outside of the box.

I've been disabled since 2009 and my husband of 21 years bailed that year too because of my illness. Angry does not begin to cover that scenario.

Like Leo, I'd like to gently suggest counseling. Many of us see someone for extra support. This is a difficult journey. Just know that you are not alone. We feel your pain on so many different levels. Take care.

Patty, I agree with everything that's been said. You have every right to your anger and your grief at losing your former self. Having said that, grief has stages, and it's possible to get "stuck" in a stage and be unable to move on without help. Counseling can help you to work through that.

If there's a chronic pain support group near you, that's a good place to make new friends who will understand the challenges you live with.

Hope something helps you to feel better.

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate each and everyone!

I felt like that too. I've gotten past that now and I'm struggling with major depression. I pray for God to call me home. I'm sick of all the pain and everything. I feel like a millstone around my husbands neck but he says I'm not. I feel very alone most of the time. I hide behind laughter when I'm in public. Sometimes I can't fake it so I stay home. I'm sorry I'm not being uplifting but it's not in me today. Perhaps I shouldn't have replied.

Patty, I am so sorry you are angry, but I truly believe we all go through it. I have nothing new to suggest that the others haven't already said. Just know we are here for you.

Blue sun, I am so sorry your husband is acting the way he is. Hopefully he will see the light and know you are worth spending time with. Hugs being ant your way.