I am so sorry. There are a lot of times when life just isn’t fair. Your Dad knows that you love him and you’d be there if it was at all possible.

I was not able to be with my Dad when he passed. I get it. Talk to your Dad by phone. He will hear you and know that he is close in your heart.

This is no time to be relapsing with any of the issues that you have managed to beat. Your family and Matt need you to hold it together. And, your Dad certainly wants you to stay the course and remain sober and not cut etc. Make him proud.

Sending you lots of support and hugs. We are here for you.

Angela, I am so sorry. I can tell how much you love and care for your father. At least they're letting your mom go see him-some hospitals here are not allowing it. Definitely talk to him on the phone, he will know you are there for him even if you're not in the room. I agree with Fantod, your dad would want you to be strong right now. You've worked so hard to stop cutting and remaining sober. Lean on Matt and any friends who you feel comfortable talking to as much as you can. Also reach out to your mental health team. You are in crisis right now and they should know so they can help you. Obviously this is not the outcome anyone hoped for, but like you said, with his body being so depleted and his breathing so bad, keeping him alive at all costs would not be in his best interest now. I know you don't want to lose him ever and this is a horrible situation for anyone to be in, but I also know you care deeply enough to also not want to see him in pain like that. Losing him will never feel fair and it will be very difficult, especially with the holidays coming up and your mom needing support that's hard for you to provide, but please stay strong and reach out for help. Call your counselor, talk to Matt, vent on here as much as you need to-we will always support you, and see if there are any virtual AA meetings offered. You can get through this. I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts, and sending all the virtual hugs and support that I can

AngelaJo, I am sorry to hear that your father has a bad turn in his condition. I know how you are feeling right now. I remember my despair when the doctors refused to save my father even when I believed a simple dialysis would have saved him. The doctors felt it was futile to maintain life when it would only afford a few months, which I felt was long enough for me to be with my father, You are a good daughter, and the doctors should at least let you be with him, even though you may have to gown up like an astronaut. Ask your mother to put the phone next to his ear, and you should talk to him. Your Dad will hear everything that you say. That's how I woke up my Dad from his coma, by whispering in his ears of all the wonderful memories our family had with my Dad. It may be a long stretch, but if you pray very hard to God, perhaps He will grant you a miracle. Tomorrow is All Souls' Day if you are Christian, so perhaps God will bless your father with a miracle, Take care, and big hugs.

Thank you everyone your support means the world to me. I am wearing dads watch mom gave me it today to keep on me if i wanted it. Mom has been putting the phone by dad and letting me talk to him.

I will not relapse on anything already promised mom that.

AngelaJo - Thinking of you today! I know that you are having a terrible time right now. Sending hugs and lots of support.

So sorry Angela. Big soft hugs.

Thank you guys so much!

God will not forsake his flock. Stay strong and keep the faith. I pray to God that He will heal your father's body and make him recover. Take care.

Thinking of you and hopeful you get the support you need. Prayers for your dad.

May the good Lord send you comfort and ease your father's passing. May he show your Dad and his loved ones compassion and mercy at this very difficult time. How very fortunate you are to have had such a wonderful Dad! How blessed is he to have a daughter who loves him so dearly. His spirit will be with you wherever you go and all through your life.

I'm so sorry!! I agree, it is awful that you can't just be with him, spend time there, makes no sense at all. Call and talk to him a lot, it is better than not at all. Put his picture in front of you as you are talking, it will help. I'm sorry he is not doing well and won't be able to walk you down the aisle! I'm praying for you that God will help you thru this very difficult sorrowful time! Day by day and even minute by minute is all you can do. Just getting thru it, sending you healing hugs and prayers. <3

Dad is doing worse. They had to leave the ventilator in longer he now has aspiration pneumonia and they found more cancer and its worse in his stomach then we thought. His kidneys are stage 5 failure i have no clue what that means but i know its bad. Chemo would kill him faster than the cancer. My heart is shattering i just want to see him!

Angela, is there some way you can video chat when your mom is there? A lot of hospitals started doing that for covid patients, the nurses may have tablets specifically for that. I know it's not the same as being there in person but maybe seeing him will help you feel a little closer? I'm so sorry things are looking worse. Sending hugs and purrs of support