Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
bluesun
hello there my friends!
remember the recent story i shared with you all about kicking the roomate out? and how we had to lend him $600 to get him out of our hair & tell him to pack up and get the fuck out....
well his last day here, he told me that he feels sorry for us because we don't want his help around the house... therefore kicking him out. not to mention that he said "At least i'm taking a college course and bettering my self.... i could call y'all in 5 years, and y'all will still be living here, moping around, limping around in pain!" (referring to me and my mom)
but as i explained before, it was always him calling ME FOR HELP when he got kicked out of where he lived.... when he got his car stolen in the midle of the night.... when he got kicked out of his AA program... etc
so guess what happened the other day?!! (after he finally got moved out) he calls and says it's an emergency.... oh great, another one? oh here we go again....
he says that he's down town Waikiki at the beach and his car got towed. nobody will pick him up...etc. so i tell him catch a bus! he says his wallet was locked up in the car, which is towed. ...fucking genius! i swear this guy is just one walking catastrophe, for some one who had the balls to talk down to me! and then he tells me he needs $190 to get his car out!!! ...what am i? A FUCKING ATM?! i don't htink so!
Matthew and i said f&ck it... let him sit there and suffer. screw him for treating us the way he did, and we STILL helped him after all that by lending him the $600!!! but eventually my bro gave in (feeling sorry for the guy) and lent him $100.
this dude is a parasite... not healthy for anyone. especially for someone with chronic pain. i think i have to come to the decision of cutting the friendship and only "deal" with him when it comes to him paying me back the money. other than that, I"M DONE.
input please! i would love to hear what you all think and advise.... i love coming here for your opinions!
remember the recent story i shared with you all about kicking the roomate out? and how we had to lend him $600 to get him out of our hair & tell him to pack up and get the fuck out....
well his last day here, he told me that he feels sorry for us because we don't want his help around the house... therefore kicking him out. not to mention that he said "At least i'm taking a college course and bettering my self.... i could call y'all in 5 years, and y'all will still be living here, moping around, limping around in pain!" (referring to me and my mom)
but as i explained before, it was always him calling ME FOR HELP when he got kicked out of where he lived.... when he got his car stolen in the midle of the night.... when he got kicked out of his AA program... etc
so guess what happened the other day?!! (after he finally got moved out) he calls and says it's an emergency.... oh great, another one? oh here we go again....
he says that he's down town Waikiki at the beach and his car got towed. nobody will pick him up...etc. so i tell him catch a bus! he says his wallet was locked up in the car, which is towed. ...fucking genius! i swear this guy is just one walking catastrophe, for some one who had the balls to talk down to me! and then he tells me he needs $190 to get his car out!!! ...what am i? A FUCKING ATM?! i don't htink so!
Matthew and i said f&ck it... let him sit there and suffer. screw him for treating us the way he did, and we STILL helped him after all that by lending him the $600!!! but eventually my bro gave in (feeling sorry for the guy) and lent him $100.
this dude is a parasite... not healthy for anyone. especially for someone with chronic pain. i think i have to come to the decision of cutting the friendship and only "deal" with him when it comes to him paying me back the money. other than that, I"M DONE.
input please! i would love to hear what you all think and advise.... i love coming here for your opinions!
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I think that you are making the right decision....cut him out, divorce yourself from him, he only brings you frustration and annoyance, and you don't need a person like this in your life.
As for the money he owes you....I would tell him that you want it back, but if he doesn't ever give it back to you, consider it money well spent to be rid of him.
i'm still in the process of suing my x-land lady, and i got a call that the judge is throwing the case out and having all my safety deposit returned to me immediately.
so if he don't pay up on the dates he signed it, i will take him to court as well.
HE WILL PAY UP!
sounds like we all agree here, you did the right thing, if you have to take him to court to get your money then I would and then be done with him!! Good Luck!!
If my stomach gets upset everytime some certain person comes around...I make it a Point to walk off...I certainly would not associate even in a phone conversation...he is a big boy...he will figure it out...hopefully BEFORE he annoys the Hell out of the WRONG person...his problems are Not Your Problems...
I'm not being judgmental at all... It's just that as soon as I understood that the dynamic of addiction is involved, it made PERFECT sense as to why your "friend" jerks you around.
Are you familiar with codependence? He has tried - and looks like he's managed to an extent - to suck you into a codependent relationship. Codependence does not apply only to parent-child or romantic relationships.
This person has some deep issues they need to work out on their own, and until he does, his manipulation and destruction are only going to be stressors. It's easier for him to blame you and point out what he cruelly observes as "flaws" instead of him making needed changes in his own life.
Don't play his games and don't elevate his sick jabs with a response. You have to understand where these things are coming from. He feels totally out of control - and can't even control himself, so he resorts to such hurtful, passive aggressive tactics to try to control you and keep an upper hand in the situation, even if he manages to maintain a miserable level of chaos in everyone's lives.
He's miserable, so he wants to keep you and everyone else miserable. You can't be friend with an alcoholic, because you're either on the receiving end of hateful, cruel verbal abuse and/or destruction of property, or you're guilt-tripped into trying to patch their flaws & save them from themselves.
How can anyone with fibro or any other chronic illness manage his/her illness if they're dealing with a living, breathing stressor? Change your number if you have to. Don't open the door. Be adamant. When these people run out of people to use, they have no choice but to work on their own problems.
I could tell you horror stories... but let me just say that I've been in your shoes. You'll exhaust yourself even more if you kid yourself into thinking that you can help this joker. He'll probably beg and leave pitiful messages - and you'll feel guilty because you obviously have a big heart. Otherwise, you wouldn't have tolerated him for this long.
Everyone always believes they can be the one who helps and makes a difference. But it never fails: You'll eventually join the ranks of all the many others this person has taken advantage of, abused, stolen from, drained their spirit and energy... and all the other things users manage to do to those who fall under their spell of emotional manipulation.