I find that along with the pain I am also exhausted and with the meds the desire isn't there. I feel so badly for my husband. I also have Lichen Sclerosis, lets just say I tear easily which makes intercourse hurt more. I am so grateful for my husband, he is so helpful and understanding....I just feel guilty.

" I said before that my husband was supportive about this....but as time goes by....I can see the frustration in his face build more and more....just in the past few days, seems we hardly talk, as if he is mad at me. I know it is hard on him too , just putting up with me being in pain all the time, but now this..has really taken its toll."
Thanks for so many of you being open about this issue.
I would never wish FM on anyone, but I would love to have someone that lived nearbye, to sit and just talk about everything...ya know...someone who really understands. I live near Moline, Illinois ..so if anyone reading this is even remotely close to there...please....let me know. Sorry....guess today is not a good day for me...feeling a bit sorry for myself...and can't stop crying.
GOD I WISH THIS WOULD ALL JUST GO AWAY!..
Thanks again to you all just for being here.
Lori

Hey there fibro. sufferes. I too have this problem, but; I (well my husband) has found a way around this....lol I was almost sound asleep the other night and my back was killing me. He said I was actually moaning about the pain as I was going to sleep. He started massaging (MY Back...lol) And one thing lead to another.
My thing is though that I'm afraid I will get a charlie horse in my legs or back... Anyone else get these?
Good luck to all !!

i have leared pillow propping technics lol i try not to use my muscles as much as i use to along with new positions thart are less stressful to the body i still dont have that much sex but this has helped

it's hard for me too. both the pain and the meds. i noticed after starting the meds that the sensation is more dull too so it's harder for me to climax. Matt gets so frustrated with it and as if he gets mad at me. and if it's not that it's the pain both muscle and skin pain. my skin will be so sensitive that any friction or just touching will hurt. i feel so sorry for him some times. but as time goes on he seems to be more and more understanding about it. i hope it stays that way and he doesn't just give up on us.

ps i do the pillow prop thing too. it helps.

OH my yes, I kknow what ya mean and so does my boyfriend. It took me awhile but I seen my first pain doc recently and prescribes some pretty drug Pain killers to help with the "take me to Er for a shot pain". well the second time I had to use it, my BF and I had "it". Same issues here, the pain last for days after, for while he was rushing me to ER right after doing "it". So it happened about a week ago and last night he brought it up. He said I was never really sure if it was your pain or something to do with me. I felt so bad for him and assured him there is NOTHING wrong with HIM. He said he knows now because as soon as the pain meds worked, that I was in the mood. I told him I am in the mood alot, I am just to scared. He understands now and hopefully we will not have to have such a discussion again but it can definately affect you and your partner in different ways, the fibro that is. Good luck to you. take care

Y'all are making me cry! I miss this part of my marriage so much after 35 years.Thanks for starting discussion.No one else I can talk to.Most wonderful hubby is supportive but he has normal needs. We had gotten creative,at least for us! A warm scented bubble bath with candles, massage, pain meds, pillows, etc.AND I take drugs to keep breast CA from returning that cause extreme menopause symptoms.Talked to rheumy today about mouth sores from MTX since I have RA,too.NOT FAIR!I've been thinking about trying the little finger battery operated device someone mentioned. IF you can have even a little 'O' it releases endorphins which make make further activity more bearable.What do you think? Worth a try? Anyone talked to a sex therapist?Just don't know what to do.Docs suggest lubricants,but that's all the help I get.I'd like to try some testosterone, maybe, too - supposed to help the 'want to' part.Any help appreciated.
Vee

It is possible that the meds you may be on may cause lack of sex drive. I was on one that made the "O" impossible,and with my sensitivity to touch i certainly didnt want to have a prolonged session. I spoke to my Dr about it and my antidepressant was changed and my libido picked up somewhat. I am also post menopausel (sp)so I am sure that contributes. Pain meds might also interfer. or they may help some so you are not in pain.
To Virgila, please ask your oncologist before trying testosterone. It may interfer with your meds.

Well you have to experiment and try different things. We all need massages and husbands won't mind giving them and if gentleness is kept in mind, stuff can happen. I'm sorry but I am not comfy with talking about it in detail. Just experiment.

Thank you Lori for bringing up such a sensitive subject. I have found that taking anti-depresants have decreased my desire and sesitivity. I was taking Celexa until about 2 months ago. Before that I have taken Effexor,Paxil and Wellbutrin. When I stopped taking the Celexa, my sensitivity increased, but my desire is still low, likely due to the pain and energy needed. Now I'm taking Neurontin and again my sensitivity has decreased. I was hoping it was just the anti-depressant side effects that were ruining my libido.

I feel bad for my husband, he tries so hard to "get me there", and will put in as much time as needed,but sometimes I just can't orgasm and then he feels inadequate. I've explained to him that it is my issue and not his, but I know deep down he thinks he isn't satisfying me. This on top of my always being in pain, not wanting to do anything or go anywhere. I sometimes feel that I am stealing his life away.

I'm working on trying to find the right mix of medications so that I can be somewhat normal and the Neurontin seems to be helping some and the tramadol controls the majority of pain, but they make me feel strange and I have zero energy.

Thanks again Lori, with all the responses it helps to know that we are not alone in dealing with our sexuality.