This doctor you've been dealing with sounds really abusive, getting off on putting you down and making you feel dependant on him as he's the 'only' person who would deal with you. What a jerk. And many, many other uncouth swear words I'll keep silent. I'm so sorry you've had to put up with this idiot and really hope you find someone new who isn't like this. They are out there, just hiding.

It's a horrible thing when you get labelled badly by these sort of people and so damn hard to shake. Just remember that he's the idiot, and not you. you're just searching for someone who will do their job!

I don't know how it all works in the US, different to the UK, but I went through a few doctors when I switched before finding a couple who have been brilliant. But it was hard, frustrating work. I'm afraid I only have understanding and sympathy and hope you find someone better than that jerk. You deserve better.

Gentle hugs

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with a doctor like that. I don't know if this sounds stupid but can you hold off on getting the records sent over & get to know a new doctor first. I'm only saying that because I had to change over doctors a year & a half ago due to new insurance. By the time I went for my first appointment the doctor told me that my records still weren't sent over & I told her they said they would fax it, "they were still in the process" they said when I called about it. However, the doctor still treated me that day & I told her all my issues & a list of medications I'm on currently.
Either way, maybe once the new doctor gets to know you it'll be just fine.
The way the old doctor sounds I think a new doctor will be a fresh upgrade. I hope you feel better. Sending support & hopeful thoughts your way
Gentle healing hugs

I had a doctor who was almost as bad as yours, who basically fired me as a patient. Well, it was sort of a mutual firing. Throughout the attempts to get better treatment I have come to realize that doctors don't like treating people like us. We don't get better. For instance, my doctor refused outright to prescribe a drug off-use. Period. Won't do it even if it has worked in the past. The last time I told me doctor I had a new 'symptom', really a stand-alone illness, IBS. He asked me what was happening and I explained my symptoms and he said, that's wrong, you're not having cramping!! Well, of course I was cramping, but the other symptoms are so much worse, I had just not mentioned it. I was so stunned, I just sat there. What a self-centered worm.
When I first began looking for a new doctor, I decided to do an interview before settling down. I took a picture of my old self, so he would know that she is buried inside me now, never seeing the light of day. I had printed up all the stuff I had on medications, etc. And I gave him the most negative look at my disease. I wanted him to know what he was getting into and get him to promise not to leave me. He's much younger than I am and so, theoretically, should outlive me.
He was very nice, didn't blanch and my awful stories of suffering. I thought I had hit the jackpot. Over time, I can see that dealing with someone who cannot be cured is a real problem for him. He wants to set a bone, cure a cold, send someone off into cancer treatment and get them off his plate.
Now, I am not seeing him very often at all. Maybe once or twice a year. He bugs me about getting basic blood tests and is annoyed that I refuse to get a mammogram or a pap test (None in the family and they hurt so badly, I am just not doing it again -- my plan is to grab hold of the first fatal disease that comes along and get out of this suffering life. So I wouldn't treat anything anyway.
Then there are the things that I would like to look into. My HMO has a hyperbaric chamber within driving distance that I would like to try. (I go around, constantly in pain that feels like an oxygen debt). I would even think about buying one of my own if it worked. I want to try anything that might work at this point. Nope, he refused. He looks at me like I'm crazy.
Basically, most doctors think they are God and don't like it if they are questioned, even about things they know nothing about. He constantly tells me that I know tons more about my disease than he does, yet he won't do as I ask and complains about my various approaches to my treatment.
The best I can suggest to you is that you try a similar approach, with an interview with the doctor. I even told the man I was doing exactly that, having just been fired by my other doctor.
I have told him in the past that, if he thinks he as trouble in treating me, at least he gets to walk out the door. I have to live with this (sorry) shit 365 days a year. Nothing stops, even when I sleep, in fact it gets worse.
This is the world of someone with a misunderstood disease. I am praying that one day, I will get a chance at stem cell treatment or some nano-technology device that will patrol around my body.
Sorry I went on so long. I need to vent myself, but don't want to take over the commentary. I can't help myself. No wonder the doctor fired me.

I did the same thing - found a doctor that I thought might work and interviewed her. We went through my medical issues together, agreed to see how things went and formulated a plan. That was four years ago and it has been a good working relationship. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have such a good advocate.

I think that writing out a concise narrative to stay on point might help you. You need to have your game face on and stay calm and focused.


If possible, I'd try to bypass the last guys bad behaviour (appalling) because that is not going to add anything to an already difficult situation. Get his records so that YOU can look them over first.

As for the forms, ask for them in advance so you can take your time filling them in. Because I have so many medication sensitivities, I keep a running list and other information on my computer. I just print it all out and write "see info provided by patient" all over their forms.

Good luck with your search.

Hey Wolf,
I echo the thoughts on just interviewing. Same as you would for locating a mechanic, a contractor, and etc. A doctor is in the same sense someone you contract to hire for your needs.
You are in control here of your own health, and you have taken the first step which is recognizing you need a new doctor.

If you can, remove emotion from this. (I know it's hard, I have horrific and paralyzing medical phobias too).

But don't go into a first appointment searching for help. Schedule and interview. I did this with our kiddos pediatrician.
Write out your concerns and turn them into questions. There are many sites out there that have some basic interview questions if you struggle to come up with some.
Of course you want to know the doctors history a bit, but I'd be more concerned with how he/she may manage difficult cases since fibro seems to be quite complex in nature.
Oh and most interviews won't be charged unless you sign on with that doctors office/clinic.

I'm truly sorry the present doctor is being a butt. I wish you the best here. It's hard....I know. Dang near impossible. I need to get in myself, it's been years for me, but we've switched insurances now and I'm on the hunt for a new MD....when I'm not putting it off that is.

I so appreciate the empathy, support, and suggestions.

It figures that we've all been through this. Yes, I will take an interview approach.

I have never looked up to doctors like deities. Maybe it's because I'm just as educated. And they feel threatened by my being a lawyer. So they feel they have to put me down when their treatment fails to cure me. Even though I've always assured them that I know there's no cure. But they do get frustrated and eventually they do blame the patient.

Thanks to all of you who responded here and in PMs.