Fibromyalgia Support Group

You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.

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Mornings (vent)

BlueSky
BlueSky

Aloha!


Sometimes I get really tired of trying to explain to poeple why I am "not a morning person". Explaining to one person at a time is hard enough but to a new group of people in one setting was overwhelming. 



To explain myself better.... we recently moved to another island so I'm starting over with new doctors, friends, and social groups. Yesterday I did an intake with a new counselor at the vet center. After going over my medical "issues" for a 1/2 hr she proceeded to tell me about the parade (which was this AM) the veterans would be participating in and told me they are meeting up at 7AM. But after I told her my body doesn't work in the mornings, she argued that if I will it I can, and I just have to get up a little earlier and try. She said, "It's the 4th of July and I figured I should do it for my country." (referring to why she is doing it). Her comments actually angered me and had me wondering what kind of counselor is this? So if I can't get up in the morning, does she think I just don't "want it enough" or I'm doing a diservice to my country?? It sounds to me like she has no idea what fibromyalgia is, that mornings are the worst for us, and we have no control over that. 



After her appt, I went on to music group. I am a new member in this group so this was my 1st time sitting with them. There was about 6 of us there. And we were talking about the parade and other things between songs. They asked me a lot of questions wanting to get to know me. Like what do I do, what sort of things am I into. Once again, I felt like I was on the defense or in the hot seat. It was overwhelming. One man was asking me to take over his scouts (boys & girls scouts) and when I told him I can't handle rigorous activities or chasing after kids, that my body hurts head to toe, they were all shocked. Epsecilly since I was the youngest in the group. I felt like I needed I lawyer all of a sudden. And they wanted to know why I don't do mornings. One guy said jokingly, "Yeah that's why God made coffee! Ha ha..." One lady said," Just get up early, that's all." I told her I have insomnia, I could lay awake all night. It doesn't mean my body will be up to doing anything in the morning. If it doesn't want to work, I can't make it. End of story. There's no controling it, no mattter how much I "want" or "will" it or drink or eat something. Which btw, coffee just makes things worse. But I think they think I'm a nut case. I saw the looks on thier faces. Now what?



Must be nice they can do all that.



I came home mentally exhausted and frustrated like I was on the defense all day! I hate this illness! And I hate trying to make new friends because it's hard enough just trying to keep the old ones around. What do you folks tell poeple about your "mornings" or why you can't do things? 

AnnNY
AnnNY
Well, I know exactly how you feel. And if I do have to get up earlier than my body wants, I often sleep even less even if I take sleep meds. Then I'm just a walking zombie. I tend to think its genetic, since I have two brother's who are night owls, and my mother's mother. Fortunately, I have had some bosses who figured out I wasn't a bum, just not good in the morning, and they let me come in later.

I still don't think I've recovered from my very bad airplane trip from a month ago.

It might work better if you just tell them flatly that you have a sleep disorder.
lighttheway
lighttheway
I feel like I let my family down because I feel ill so often.I try to explain it to them but I dont think they really get it.They are polite about it,but theres no sense of empathy or compassion.I dont even try to explain it to anyone outside of my family.I think the only people that really understand chronic illness is someone who either has it,or someone who has a close family member that has it.I guess you just dont worry abouta their responses and take care of yourself.I realize thats hard when moving to a new town and trying to make friends and fit in.eventually they will get to know you better,and understand your not a morning person and your in pain I dont understand why people question other peoples pain and misery. I hope that counselor works out.I see possible red flags that she might have issues of her own? good luck hope it gets easier..hugs xxx
AngelaJo
AngelaJo
I hate having to be anywhere before 11am lately. My body just doesnt function before then at the earliest, even if i am awake. I know what you mean! It is hard! And being in pain is out of our control! Some days are better but many are worse
Shakota6
Shakota6
It's hard to explain my limitations to some family members-- they base everything off their own normal. But we don't have the old normal, only the new and changing fibro constellation. In the face of family members' demands that I do elder care which they could easily afford to pay for,

I can't imagine how powerless you felt with having to agree to be in the parade at 7am. Doesn't the army have any kind of disability rights? What would have happened if you simply said: No, my body won't let me do that.
Fantod
Fantod
I get it. I've never been a morning person. Twelve hours of sleep in high school made no difference. Add in chronic illness and let the train wreck begin. My schedule doesn't start until the crack of Noon. If someone is really pushing me, I just say that I have to take meds to sleep and I'm not safe to drive prior to a certain time. It is easier than having to explain the endless variables of Fibromyalgia.
BlueSky
BlueSky
Sleep disorder excuse is a good one and I like saying I'm not supposed to drive. Angela, same here. Usually not out of the house till about 11 if I have to go somewhere. lol. Shakota, yes, people do like to base everything off of their own normal. They are unable to feel compassion for anyone outside of their norm. I guess that's why it's so frustrating. I try to keep my answers as simple as possible. But it's hard in a group setting and you are new. I didn't expect them to pry but they did. I was more upset with the counselor. I did not participate in the parade, but I did make it to the 2nd half and watch. It was pretty cool and I'm glad I got to go. It ended up being a long day and I'm still feeling it.
Fantod
Fantod
Blue - That counselor is a real gem. Nothing like imposing your expectations on other people. I'd would have blown a gasket. She has some work to do before trying to help others.
Patty1963
Patty1963
I'm so sorry! I can relate completely. I'm so tired of trying to get people to understand how much this sucks! I drove 6 hours to visit my mom and it almost did me in. I was completely done for the first two days. Could hardly walk. Now I'm able to move better and I feel she thinks I'm all better. Why do we try to justify our pain?? I get so angry, but I shouldn't even try to change people's perspective.
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