Hugs leo. Im in major flare up. Not even tbe extra morphine patch is helping at all. All i can manahe today is laying in bed. Im so tired too.
Hope everyone else here is dking a bit better. Hugs.

Morning Leo. I share your exhaustion today. Hope you can rest today.
I already want to cry today. I'm tired because I've slept well for one day out of the last 2 weeks, and I'm flaring because this weekend was so busy. Now I'm at work and we're busy because they didn't leave enough openings for sick visits, and my coworker is flipping out. I'm annoyed too, and I didn't put any appointments in recently so she's not mad at me, but her ranting about how much this sucks and how it's a fucking joke is really setting my anxiety off. I just can't handle it today. I also haven't told anyone here that I was definitely not keeping the horse (because it was hard enough to keep from crying at work at that point) so I'll probably have to do that today or tomorrow because someone is bound to ask. I just want to crawl into bed and hide today

Thanks for your support and understanding to my post Leo. Have any of you watched the new Netflix special called "Afflicted" I am anxious to hear what other people feel/think about it...breathe deep. xo

Aspie, ouch!
Miki, gentlest supportive hugs. I know that feeling too well.
Khadi, I saw it, but I'm conflicted about Afflicted. Some of it was simplified/simplistic, and some seemed insulting (it's just psychological) and some showed that coping mechanisms can help us live despite ailments and.... Yeah. I'm conflicted. Of course, I was dx'd when fibro was "a psych issue of women" to most docs.... I get a bit sensitive!


Just found a new cat in my house. Oh joy. I have no cats. Someone please tell the cats....

Leo cats love you!

I am exhausted! I tossed and turned and gave up at 5am now 830 am and i will be gone at 920 am for a 10am AA meeting then go straight to physical torture then prolonged exposure therapy then lunch with mom and my nephew then walhell........... can i run away? I am in so much pain i cant even sleep how do i get thru today???????? Still got PMS too but hope my period holds off till after Thursday because Thursday night we go to the fair.

I agree with your assessment of Afflicted, I guess the good thing I can say is that recently there have been several specials about people who have chronic illnesses that are not really understood. I think it is the first step to changing the general perception of us "crazies" :) It also made me think about the fact that there are a lot of "healers" out there that are taking advantage of people who are really sick. Let's face it, people in pain get desperate.

I wanted to say to the doctor who said- they teach you in med school that if you hear hoof beats think of a horse first and not a zebra. What about us zebras??? Where does that leave us? Traditional medicine needs a major overhaul.

Morning everyone. I am back to having restless sleep. I wake every little bit so I never get into a deep sleep.
Leo cats just love you. They feel safe and know that you will help them. Sorry you are not getting restorative rest. I hope a nap comes your way today.
Miki my heart breaks for you. It has been a very hard time and now you are grieving what you wanted so much. Gentlest hugs and prayers.
Angela I hope today turns out to be a good day. Gentle hugs and sending you strength to get through.
Aspie sorry you are in such a bad flare. I hope it passes quickly.
Khadi I am found Afflicted to be too simple and uninformed. I just couldn't get into it.

Hi to Wonder, Blue, Ida, Twins and the rest of the team. I miss you.
I am staying home today because the guy is coming to check my breathing machine. They tell what day they are coming but not the time. I have had them come while we were eating dinner. It is frustrating. Sleep is something we all have a problem with so I won't whine about mine.

I hope you all have a great day.

Hello all!

I'm writing to you while scarfing down a bagel with cream cheese. This is brunch. Got up to no breakfast food in the house, so I had some homemade ice cream instead :). That counts as dairy right?

So a trip to the grocery store has already happened. Taking a break then vacumming the house and finishing some laundry.

Leo -- Sorry. Gentle hugs.
Aspie -- No hugs 'cause they'd hurt. Sending brownies instead.
Miki -- Deep breathes girlie! I have worked with peeps like that too. Emotional dump trucks they are. Don't let her stress become your mess. Embrace the suck that is Monday. And personally I wouldn't tell anyone that you got rid of the horse until they ask. Then just maybe say that the acclimation didn't work and that you decided with the previous owner that it was best for them to take him back.
Khadi -- I agree, traditonal med needs an overhaul. The kindest thing any doctor has ever done for me is to say that what I had (not fibro, another thing) is poorly understood and at the edges of medical knowledge. And because it's so rare, research is also rare. That I would just have to know that as challenges were thrown up I would have to search with my medical team for work arounds. See I kept hearing "you need mental help" when no one would address physical problems at all. Instead this doctor made me feel like part of the team to "play against" the problem, not like a victim who needed to cope. Because I'm not a coping person, I'm a "go around/over/through" person, unsually flipping off the thing I just went "around/over/through". :)

So we went away to my hometown for the weekend. It was nice, but PuppyDad and I argued the entire time. We are supposed to go away this weekend as well and have a dog sitter come to the house. Well Sniffy reacted so poorly this weekend when I left with PuppyGranny for a few hours, even though PuppyDad stayed with Sniffy, that I am now afraid to leave her with the dog sitter. I'm rather scared she'll run off to try to look for me or possibly become impossible for the dog sitter to handle (she barked, howled, and started to become destructive when left alone just with PuppyDad & PuppyUncle) This morning Sniffy apparently thought PuppyDad was attacking me when he went to kiss me goodbye and lunged at him, nipping his arm in the process. So that was disconcerting too.

Not to mention we are going to visit SIL and MIL. SIL as a "surprise" invited a bunch of other family for the weekend as well. It is now nearly the same configuration as three years previously when we visited. During this visit my MIL (whom I think might be anorexic where I am athletic built and have a "huge bone structure" says my Neuro -- thanks Viking ancestors) would look at me and "MOO" like a cow every time PuppyDad left the room. The rest of them would just stare and wait to see what I would do. I treated her like a child who was acting out, which was to say I completely ignored her every time she did it. So she become even more obnoxious going "MOO MOO MOO" repeatedly until I looked at her and said, "MIL, I'm sorry, did you have something to add to this conversation?" She choked and then didn't have anything to say.

When I tried to address the situation with PuppyDad, he said I had to be lying, his mother didn't act that way. One of the other people that was there later metioned to him that he "got a real gem in me as a wife, becuase most people wouldn't put up with the crap I had to deal with from the family." But they didnt' elaborate. This person also pointed out that the situation I was being placed in made it a lot easier to leave that to stay, so he should really give me credit for sticking it out.

You all know I'm really struggling with my health and this chronic migraine DX. Plus I am on meds, which just make the symptoms a little better, they don't cure it. And I'm in a bad migraine cycle right now, having headaches almost daily by the end of the day. It also causes vision problems, coordination problems, and sometimes slurred speech. My in-laws don't know about the situation, so I can't wear my medic alert bracelet around them. I am really scared of becoming symptomatic while there. My SIL is in the medical profession, she is going to know that there is something really wrong.

So hive mind, what should I do? Have already told PuppyDad that I don't think I should go. But it's about a 5 hour drive in holiday traffic, which is a long way to go by himself. And it feels a little unfair that he spent last weekend with my family and I am not reciprocating. Already spoke to the dog-sitter (it's PuppyGranny) and she is confident that she can handle Sniffy, all but administering the ear drops she is on for an ear infection. That pretty much takes two people. My boss told me to take the time off, but that she doesn't think I should be around these toxic people. She is more mortified by the behavior of the others who didn't tell my MIL to stop her behavior than even by my MIL's oddness.

Open to suggesitons peeps. . .

Further background, the situation with MIL began not long after we were married. I had only been around her one time before. PuppyDad said he was not close with his family and that the intro was just a courtesy before our wedding. Right after our wedding I saw why he wasn't close. She came to our house and began screaming all of these horribly abusive things at him, which apparently is something she has screamed at him since he was a small child, while SIL sat there and SMILED. PuppyDad left the room and then she turned on me and took a big breath. I put my hand up and said, "Before you say anything, you should know I simply cannot allow you to speak to my husband that way in his house. IF you feel you must do so, you need to leave." (Said calmly, I've been working with the public for a long time and have had to remove people from establishments before.)

(I'm told I should have NEVER spoken like this to my MIL. Too late now and frankly I'm not sorry.)

She then screamed at me at the top of her lungs, "BUT I'M HIS MOTHER!!!"

Me (said in my southern drawl just to tick her off): "Lady, I don't care if your initials are JC and you walk on water in your spare time. If you can't behave, there's the door. (jerking my thumb toward the door) You absolutely WILL not speak to him that way in our home. Now if you can't avoid speaking to him that way, the same door you walked in earlier will see you out." (again, I'm not yelling, I am speaking calmly and with authority. )

So she likes to get me with the rest of the family because she is under the impression that gives her a lot of power. She is mistaken, because I still have power over myself and my actions.

Well, my estranged son decided to respond to my request to see him in person! And I saw him and my grandson after 20 months of separation. What a joy!

I have no idea why now and didn't need to ask. All was comfortable (it's his wife's moods, you might say, the reason).

Hope Monday turns out to be a decent day for everyone. Enjoy the good moments!!

Aloha. Happy Monday. Leo, you're absolutely right about that.... we get running at that sound no matter what time day or night lol. Having 2 cats with cancer I can attest to that.

I've been trying to keep up with 3 classes this past week and have failed miserably with all the chaos going on. And today begins a fourth class (there are 5 total)! I am trying to drop a couple but they are not responding via email so I'll have to call the school today.

In other news, a bunch of our furniture including Balinese night stands and my art desk were dragged out of here and hubby is ready to take them to the dump on his way to work. I know it's just furniture but I can't help feeling a bit heartbroken ATM. But when I told hubby all he can tell me is how good it feels to have more space around here. In fact, I was lectured about how I need to make more space and get rid of *more* things. Ouch, a heart of stone.

So here I sit on patio furniture this AM that has replaced our dining room set. (Don't worry, we cleaned it off yesterday before brining it in).

Back in a sec.

Shakota I am glad that your son visited with you. Hopefully this is the start of healing for you both.
Blue I would freak if I had to get rid of my furniture. I am sorry your hubby was so cold about it. I hope you can work something out with your school. 5 classes would be way overwhelming to me too. I admire you trying to go to school.

Hi everyone. Just reading this afternoon.

I’ve been having chest pain all day and have had 3 nitros. I think it’s the prinzmetals angina that I have, but it normally doesn’t stick around this long. I called hubby and he said it’s up to me on going to the hospital. I’ll wait to see if it comes back for the 4th time, then I will go.

Talk to you all later.

Hey everybody. It's just been one of those days which is why I haven't checked in yet. I've been reading, but can't find the energy to respond to everyone.

Blue, I'm glad you are back home, but I am so sorry your furniture is ruined. I really hope the humidifiers are helping with everything else. I'm praying for your struggles and for God to guide you and fill you with peace right now. Hugs

Shakota, I'm so happy you got to see your son and grandson. It's about flipping time, and shame on his wife for letting it last so long.

puppymom, you are better than me, I would not be so nice to that women, and what is wrong with his siblings and family for letting their mom talk to you like that. Geez, they must all be deathly afraid of this women.

Autumn, I hope he comes at a good time to check your breathing machine. Blessings on your day.

Leo, so funny you found another cat in your house. They spread the word fast. ;-)

Miki, hang in there, you work so hard and you push yourself so much. Don't worry about saying anything until someone ask you about it. And don't worry about what they think. You tried hard to make it work. Super hugs for how great you are.

Angela, I hope you are done with all of your errands and that you can rest soon. That shouldn't schedule so much on you if they are wanting to help you.

I ran into a lady that works at Akins that has autoimmune disease and her heart was in the right place, but I hate people pushing their diets on you. She told me to eat fish every morning with fruit and see if I feel better on my stomach. That sounds so gross to me, and it's not like I eat terrible. I have tried so many diets and supplements, I guess I'm just sick of it all. Plus she is flaring so bad right now, so really your total protein and fruit diet doesn't seem to be working for you either. Sorry

And how many of you take a fish oil supplement? She was swearing by that too and I've tried several, but due to be completely broke, I can't keep all these supplements up all the time.

Aspie, rest up. Prayers the flare passes soon.

Miki, sorry for the rough day.... I hope it has eased up by now. Also that you were able to confide in someone about the mini because you could use the support.

Khadi, I have not watched that. Not sure it sounds like my thing by the description. And I agree about traditional med needing an overhaul. I tried to tell the new GI doc about my symptoms and what foods I discovered causes constipation (eg: dairy, wheat) but all he could do was "correct" me and argue back that those foods cause DIARRHEA, not constipation. OK, so now you're going to dictate to me what my symptoms SHOULD be?!

Wow, Angela, that's a full day. I hope you are not in too much agony from PT that you're up tonight again.

Autumn, I hate that kind of sleep and going through a phase myself. It's tiring and makes me so irritable. I hope you find a way to get back on track again. Thanks, btw, re the furniture. I love my Balinese nightstands and Balinese couch (matching themes). And LOVE my art desk, it's the biggest one I've ever owned. But all but the couch are gone now. We are looking into a mold treatment / preventative for the couch to see if we can save it. Thanks for the admiration, too, but I can't help feeling like a failure most days. Sigh

Puppy, there's nothing like drama to ruin a great vacation. I hope the next trip is smoother!

Shakota, yay! I've been hoping and praying they'd invite you back into their lives.

Ida, that's scary! I pray it doesn't come back and you can skip the ER.

Shoutout to Twins and Fantod.