Shakota,

Your post sounds just like my broken record. I rarely leave the house but to go for therapy, to run errands (grocery store, etc) & visit my grandkids about once a month.

Since my son was off yesterday he brought them to my house. My grandkids are 3 year old twins (one of each) & they are perpetual motion. They were only here for about two hours but since it was such a nice day for a change we spent a good bit of the time outside. I hated to see them go but when they left I was in terrible pain from head to toe & I'm still that way 24 hours.

Like you I want to do more but I just can't do it anymore. Also I am so sensitive to meds these days that I can't even take aspirin. Don't even ask me what Lyrica did to me.

It does get very frustrating at times but all I know to do is just roll with the punches & hope that tomorrow is better than today.

Sure understand your situation & wish I could offer some help.

You're probably right about the acceptance part. Sometimes, though, it helps to plan a way in which we may be able to do some things. Rarely, I go out evenings but when I do, I try to catch a nap and not do anything too strenuous that day. Had the grandchildren last weekend, so the week prior I cooked and froze meals so I didn't have to spend that energy while they were here.

I think it is important to have some social interaction and some normalcy in our lives. I hope you find something you can enjoy and you are able to figure out a way to make it feasible. It can be worth the effort.

Thanks for your posts 1sugarbear and Caroline04.

The fatigue disappears...eventually. I just got stressed this week probably and then overextended myself---just like I used to do pre-fibro.

I think balance is key. If I have too much scheduled (usually don't have anything much), then I scale back and drop the not-so-enticing activities.

Ah, life with fibro. Getting excited about little things, I suppose.
Thanks again.

Gosh, I still do this to myself. I got so mad at my friend recently who gave me a lecture on "not getting out is not good for a person"....regardless of how they feel. Next time she says that to me, I'm going to say, "when you're at a level 7 or 8 in pain every day THEN you have earned the right to say something to me". I'm also going through terrible pain with interstitial cystitis and female problems awaiting surgery, so that comment just sent me over the edge.

So, yea, even after an official dx 4 years ago, I still have a terrible time with acceptance. It's a daily struggle for me. I don't want to think of myself as a "sick" person or that has a chronic illness (or a multitude of them). But the truth is, no one gets what is going on inside my body but me and "I" have to respect me. I think after losing several friends, my family over be so ill these last couple years, it has taught me that I matter and that this disease is to be respected.

A couple of random thoughts.....fibromyalgia people tend to over-commit, in my opinion only; we push ourselves too hard; are driven; our minds sometimes say go go!, but our bodies say, stay stay! Finding a balance in each day seems to be it's own unique experience and no two days are alike. Gear up for days out, days of house work, socialization resting before and after. Travel is hard, but worthwhile if somewhere you love going. Managing a life is not impossible, but requires a team approach, maybe even journaling to keep track of good days too so you can look back at go, HEY, look at what I did!! Hang in there, fighting the good fight together :), hugs, JP

Shakota

Don't be so hard on yourself. We do what we can do. When we over extend ourselves, we pay the price. As far as I'm concerned that price is too high.

I have always been a workaholic (do-aholic?). The hardest thing for me to accept was that I had to learn to pace myself. Still now I tell my SO that I am disappointed that I didn't get more done. He always reminds me of what I did get done and that he is proud of me.

The last few months I've been spending 20 hrs a day lying down. I'm beginning to feel stronger and I have a mile long to do list which I will attack in itty bitty bites.

Good luck while you find your pace. Acceptance is a good attitude to have.

Gentle Hugs
Marion

Thanks jptexas and marioncoo for your helpful posts.

Sometimes I think I push myself to achieve something more (I'm not working since 2002). This pushing is a reaction against what limits the fibro imposes. Kind of a rebellion.

Self-care, acceptance, go with the easiest way, the most likely not to cause an increase in symptoms, unless it's unavoidable or just something you are willing to ''pay'' for.

I am so very sorry! That does sound like an ambitious list! I'm a writer, and even I can't read more than one manuscript at a time, and the one I'm reading now (for my crit partner) will probably take me a month.

Can you do an online book club or join your club via Skype?

I'm so new with all of this, I'm still trying to learn my limits, (and maybe accept them???) and I'm still trying to hide my issues from my publisher, which gets me in trouble when deadlines hit. My friends know what I have but they don't know how bad it can get, so I guess I'm trying to hide that from them as well. I guess I feel it's just too hard to explain.

Good ideas Jen53. The Guardian newspaper has an online book club I think. That might work.

Thanks for your comments.

Still having this same problem and know of no solution for it. Been sick for 35 years + and still find it hard to accept my limitations. Had to cancel with therapist last week because I saw a dr. in the morning and it wore me totally out! I am down to doing one thing a day, if that.

It's hard for me to accept the position I am in. Old, dependent, passive, too tired to be active. If I still can't accept this? what's the matter with us?

Now I'm 75 almost, and I need to take age into account, too. My grandkids live very far away, and travelling is getting more difficult. So dependent on my meds, and if they don't come, makes me furious. Nothing I can do most of the time. Everyone says they want to help. But don't.

Just brought this problem up to my psychologist. Working on it. Seems like forever.

I can totally relate. I get so frustrated with myself for overcommitting, breaking committments, and being bed bound for days at a time. I feel like I have made some progress with the acceptance part on my end, but that doesnt stop me from "forgetting" I have limitations. It also doesn't stop others from expecting more of me than I am able to give. I dont know how to address the latter issue at all.

Pondered this one for *days*... and days....

Honestly? I'd love to make plans that ambitious, but I just don't. I look at what I'd like to do, cut it in half, and think again....

Then again, after 20 years with FM, I've learned the realllllly hard way about unrealistic plans. Like, there's times picking up a cup of cocoa is too da*n much trouble!

Gentle hugs to us all.

Hey thanks Leo.

Stick within the limits.....know what they....but those limits can get even smaller without warming. You can always opt for the safe (that would be smart!).

My current ambition (crazy!) take a three hr bus ride into the city to attend a literary event (2 hours) with free tapas, 3 hr bus ride back and then drive home from bus station in the dark (possibly not doable).

But I WANT TO. Sure, until an hour into the first bus ride.

Currently, fatigue is such a huge problem. Don't know if it's partly the meds (I'm on a ridiculously small dose of 2 drugs) or getting older (60s) but stimulation of almost any sort wears me out.

I've got 3 more years to go until I hit the 20 years with fibro mark....perhaps I'll figure it out by then.

.

Oops, forgot to read your posts, Abotsd and Wells1.

Abotsd, I totally relate to feeling "passive" and being able to do one thing a day. I feel I live on a different planet than most people. I get angry, too, when for whatever reason I am not allowed to see my grandchildren (who live in my town).

Wells1, that others expect you to do more. I hate it when others in the family tell me what they think I should be doing (in my case, it was providing elder care three mornings a week with an hour and half drive. (My step-mother could afford to hire someone 50x over).

Both she and my brother kind of hammered that one for awhile. Gradually I got the inner strength to just not respond. I can't and don't care what anyone else thinks of me. I can only keep empathetic family and friends in my inner circle.

We all tend to flog ourselves over the overextending issue. We do it and sometimes don't realize we are doing it yet other times, get involved with a project larger than we first thought, even feel compelled to finish something that needs doing. However, we do recognize afterwards and just hope there will be no consequences. I think it is the nature of the condition. I hate more the "ambushes", you know the times we can't remember doing anything out of the ordinary. It is a tricky condition full of many surprises.

I understand exactly how you feel . . . . It seems as if being fatigued and dealing with pain have consumed most of my time. I find that heat seems to help a little.