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My husband is pretty supportive with everything that I go through. I just wish that he could experience it himself so he can truly understand. He thinks that I am too hard on myself and negative. Maybe I am but the way I see it is, I know what I can and cannot do (for the most part).
We talked about me getting a day job and he would work nights. If we want to get financially stable and possibly buy a house later on down the road, that is what I will have to do. But the thing is, I would work all day, come home, he goes to work and then I have to take care of the kids, who are 8 and 3. That in itself stresses me out.
He thinks I'm hard on myself because I have a degree in accounting that I got 4 1/2 years ago and he thinks that I can get a job with no problem with that degree. Well, I have no idea what I learned so I decided to take a refresher course through my library that's free. I am now trying to figure out why I got the degree in the first place. It is so confusing! But when I went to school, I was better than I am now. I keep telling him that it doesn't work that way and I didn't think my memory would offer any assistance. He says I'm too hard and negative towards myself. I didn't get a job after obtaining the degree because we decided to try for our 2nd child.
I also tried to go to school for medical insurance billing and coding and possibly work from home but financial aid wouldn't cover everything so I couldn't finish. Then we figured out as long as I learn what I need to be certified then it doesn't matter how I obtain the classes so I'm taking a few again through my library but I'm worried that I won't be able retain the information and I have to pay $300 to take the certification test. I haven't told my husband that I'm worried because he will tell me I'm being too negative. No, I know how my brain works but getting anyone else to understand is impossible. Seriously, I remember my memory being affected in my teens. I always felt dumb compared to my sisters and I didn't go to college after high school because I didn't think I could do it.
But it's almost like I don't have a choice but to get a job if we want to get out of the hole we are in. This is so frustrating and stressful!
Thanks for letting me vent. Any opinions and such are all welcome!
We talked about me getting a day job and he would work nights. If we want to get financially stable and possibly buy a house later on down the road, that is what I will have to do. But the thing is, I would work all day, come home, he goes to work and then I have to take care of the kids, who are 8 and 3. That in itself stresses me out.
He thinks I'm hard on myself because I have a degree in accounting that I got 4 1/2 years ago and he thinks that I can get a job with no problem with that degree. Well, I have no idea what I learned so I decided to take a refresher course through my library that's free. I am now trying to figure out why I got the degree in the first place. It is so confusing! But when I went to school, I was better than I am now. I keep telling him that it doesn't work that way and I didn't think my memory would offer any assistance. He says I'm too hard and negative towards myself. I didn't get a job after obtaining the degree because we decided to try for our 2nd child.
I also tried to go to school for medical insurance billing and coding and possibly work from home but financial aid wouldn't cover everything so I couldn't finish. Then we figured out as long as I learn what I need to be certified then it doesn't matter how I obtain the classes so I'm taking a few again through my library but I'm worried that I won't be able retain the information and I have to pay $300 to take the certification test. I haven't told my husband that I'm worried because he will tell me I'm being too negative. No, I know how my brain works but getting anyone else to understand is impossible. Seriously, I remember my memory being affected in my teens. I always felt dumb compared to my sisters and I didn't go to college after high school because I didn't think I could do it.
But it's almost like I don't have a choice but to get a job if we want to get out of the hole we are in. This is so frustrating and stressful!
Thanks for letting me vent. Any opinions and such are all welcome!
If your husband works nights, he couldnt watch the 3 year old during the day, he would have to sleep. So thats daycare and if you have to use daycare and the 8 year old in school but well work days.
Maybe you can work at the school or at the preschool your 3 year old would be attending.
I know you arent alone alot of couples go through this with children and jobs.
Wish I knew the answer but it will work out, just take awhile longer to get the house. Start a mutual fund or some investment for a new home and never touch it until you are ready to buy
Good luck
I am hard on myself most of the time and I push myself to do things I shouldn't do that I used to do. I think we all do that. We want so badly to be "normal" that we risk flares sometimes just to feel human.
I like Magic's suggestion about working at the school or preschool that one of your children are in. That would make it easier on you and both you and your husband would be working days and he could help you in the evenings with the boys.
Vent any time you need to. We'll listen and offer whatever support we can.
Warm Hugs,
Nancy
I always considered marriage vows just that; VOWS. When my ex was diagnosed with a crippling disease, she was certain that was the end of the marriage and that I would dump her. Despite my protests and promises, she grew more and more distant and suspicious, and eventually, things collapsed in a divorce from hell. So, who am I to give advice? No one, but here's one other idea.
THANK your husband for helping you to at least research and consider alternatives. Tell him - if you mean it! - that if he were in the one with the illness, you'd be there for him. Sometimes, acknowledging what little we do receive brings more. Sometimes.
I wish you all the best in resolving this situation. I'm much older (I suspect) and so just need to push through a few more years in the rat race. So, while in no position to judge your situation, please take this rambling advice in the spirit of empathy.
Anyway, about my hubby working nights, I don't think he would work all night; it would probably be part time. Otherwise it wouldn't work. Daycare and preschool is more than our rent and there wouldn't be a point for me to work. So he would get some rest. Also, my son couldn't go to preschool because he's not potty trained, nor our we even close.
I guess we shall see what happens. Hoping to go to the dr. here in the next few weeks and talk to her about what's going on.
I totally understand you, my husband and I are at a differnet spot in our lives, but yet some is similar to yours. I am highly skilled,
my husband tells me all the time , you could go get a part time job. first of all my memory is crap , I don't remember the accounting I learned it seems with fibro it does not stay in the brain. I also have other things I have done , but I can't use my nursing my license expired, I would have to due a complete refresser. I don't have the knowledge now to complete it.I have medical office receptionist cousres and unit clerk but I don't have the speed, my icd code are out of date. What seems like easy isn't/ It is not that I am negative I am totally on the ball. i don't know how to help you other than tosay, I feel for you and I am here if you need to talk. Isabee