Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
To vent actually.......
Venting begins now. I've been holding stuff in for awhile, not wise.....not wise at all.
To my dear friend of more than 20 years.....I didn't give up, I had to end my career because I am very ill. I had to stop working to save my life. I pushed so hard to work with the illness, after 12.5 years I had to stop work or stop living. I chose life, respect that, respect me.
To the appliance guy, yes I am a woman of faith. I'm glad your wife was cured of chronic illness. I respectfully listened as you explained to me that Satan made me sick and lack of faith was keeping me sick. Stop talking --- not another word. I am not anti-cure, I am pro-faith. I am working on living a life of acceptance. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Do not judge others, share what you believe and then let it go. You are not the first and probably not the last to tell me that those who lack faith are the reason they are sick....shame on you for being so stubbornly right and judgmental. Shame on me for talking about this.
To my lawn guy, recently I had a good day.....you said another day or two like this and I would be back at work. Despite trying to educate you on how chronic illness works you are still in la la land. I loved my career, it was heart wrenching to give it up......I am disabled. Celebrate the occasional good day with me....it was the first time I'd been able to walk down my driveway since May.
To my daughter's in-laws, yes I take supplements. Supplements are a help, not a cure. Please read about my conditions before you speak. No, I don't hate the stairs in your home, they are extremely hard for me to navigate......it's just that simple and that complex. I'm not judging stairs, your home or any kind of nonsense. Stairs are beyond my level of ability 99 % of the time. I'm trying as hard as I can to visit when I can and be a part of family gatherings. This is not in my head, it is a physical illness.
To my longtime rheumatologist. I have been your patient for so many years. Your practice is going downhill. You don't have the staff update the notes for my file any longer, share the lab reports.....seem to know who I am or why I am here today. You have us all wait for hours in your horrible chairs of torture in the waiting room. Your staff is becoming more incompetent as are you every time I come in for an appt. this past year. What is happening with your life that you have lost control of your practice and your professionalism? I need help and hope, please.
To my former friends. I have now been at home full-time since April of last year. You know I am very ill and yet most of you have nothing to say by way of support, care, kindness or visits. What happened to your hearts?
To my children, you are a blessing in my life and yet you still do not show active support weekly with a phone call. I love you, respect your busy lives and do not call to bug you or whine about every little thing. Pick up the phone and touch base with your Mom......actions speak volumes. Daughter I have not heard from you in two weeks, son I still have your boxes waiting, come and get them out of my car.....please. I'm in a crash and can't drive, move or lift them out of my vehicle. It's been almost a month......thank you.
To my sister. I love you. I wish you would e-mail me more regularly. I know that you are now involved with a fan club for a budding star. I get that it is fun and a great outlet for you. You have been criss crossing the country to go see his concerts and you are his biggest fan. You came through my city after going to a concert and had one hour to spend with me. 60 minutes, I admit it, I am jealous and hurt. When I do hear from you it is about how sick, busy, etc. that you are, but your facebook page tells a whole other story. You have been to how many concerts? On how many trips? What happened to sisterhood sister?
To my other dear sister, I love you too. I appreciate that you do call, now can you respect some boundaries? I cannot spend 6-8 hours talking to you. (This is not an exaggeration.) I love talking with you, but can we pare it down to an hour or so? When you call especially at night and want to talk it throws me off for days. I have explained this to you time and again, now it's time for some tough love.
To friends that want to fix me.....accept me as I am. This is who I am now. I can't go out and have an active social life. I don't want you to clean my house or do stuff for me, I truly could use your time to talk, to relate, to share life with.
To the contractor's helper. When I addressed that someone had dropping a boulder on my new azalea plant, effectively killing it ---- you said it that's the worst thing in your life you have nothing to complain about? What the heck? Apologize and replace the plant. Do you really want to take on my life and what I have to deal with? I've been ill since 1998......can we talk?
To the contractor. I can't believe that you yelled at my daughter. Stormed off the job and showed such an utter lack of maturity and professionalism. She simply asked you for receipts in order to reimburse you (for things you said we had not paid you for). It was the final day and you came unprepared with anything save your temper. Who does that? She addressed the reality with you, presented you with the notes and all the receipts she did have. You called her names, yelled and acted like a horse's behind. Grow up, don't yell at ladies...which is how my daughter conducted herself. What is your problem?
To the cleaning lady. Please spare me your opinions on how I decorate, the fact that I have a tendency to buy things I already have. I have brain fog and end up with 3 bottles of dish detergent or 4 bottles of shampoo. It's not on purpose, I have cognitive memory problems, I have told you this, now I ask you to believe me. Also do not ask me for things in my home......they are mine, it is just that simple. To date you have asked for several items outright and hinted at others. One day you asked for a very nice laundry hamper upstairs. I was caught off guard, talking to the bug man. That day I said yes, because I was flustered. In truth I had no intention or reason to give it to you. It's rude and just plain wrong. I would never do that to you. What the heck?
I am not a store with items stocked for your use...this is my home.
To me, now that you got all that crabbing off your chest do you feel taller? Proud? Better? I'm not sure. Intellectually I feel small, emotionally I feel better for letting off steam. I know better, I can do better.....people can make a girl crazy sometimes and yes, I still want to justify my vent.......I have a lot more growing up to do. So to all of the people I vented about......I will try, will you try too......?
I will try to be better at setting boundaries, saying no, standing up for myself and not letting things bottle up. Please don't take advantage of my home, my circumstances or my cognitive problems. Don't bully or use me, I won't do that to you and things will get better.
One day at a time, live from a crash in the north woods. Hugs to all and thanks for letting me vent, rant and whine.
Take care..............
Venting begins now. I've been holding stuff in for awhile, not wise.....not wise at all.
To my dear friend of more than 20 years.....I didn't give up, I had to end my career because I am very ill. I had to stop working to save my life. I pushed so hard to work with the illness, after 12.5 years I had to stop work or stop living. I chose life, respect that, respect me.
To the appliance guy, yes I am a woman of faith. I'm glad your wife was cured of chronic illness. I respectfully listened as you explained to me that Satan made me sick and lack of faith was keeping me sick. Stop talking --- not another word. I am not anti-cure, I am pro-faith. I am working on living a life of acceptance. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Do not judge others, share what you believe and then let it go. You are not the first and probably not the last to tell me that those who lack faith are the reason they are sick....shame on you for being so stubbornly right and judgmental. Shame on me for talking about this.
To my lawn guy, recently I had a good day.....you said another day or two like this and I would be back at work. Despite trying to educate you on how chronic illness works you are still in la la land. I loved my career, it was heart wrenching to give it up......I am disabled. Celebrate the occasional good day with me....it was the first time I'd been able to walk down my driveway since May.
To my daughter's in-laws, yes I take supplements. Supplements are a help, not a cure. Please read about my conditions before you speak. No, I don't hate the stairs in your home, they are extremely hard for me to navigate......it's just that simple and that complex. I'm not judging stairs, your home or any kind of nonsense. Stairs are beyond my level of ability 99 % of the time. I'm trying as hard as I can to visit when I can and be a part of family gatherings. This is not in my head, it is a physical illness.
To my longtime rheumatologist. I have been your patient for so many years. Your practice is going downhill. You don't have the staff update the notes for my file any longer, share the lab reports.....seem to know who I am or why I am here today. You have us all wait for hours in your horrible chairs of torture in the waiting room. Your staff is becoming more incompetent as are you every time I come in for an appt. this past year. What is happening with your life that you have lost control of your practice and your professionalism? I need help and hope, please.
To my former friends. I have now been at home full-time since April of last year. You know I am very ill and yet most of you have nothing to say by way of support, care, kindness or visits. What happened to your hearts?
To my children, you are a blessing in my life and yet you still do not show active support weekly with a phone call. I love you, respect your busy lives and do not call to bug you or whine about every little thing. Pick up the phone and touch base with your Mom......actions speak volumes. Daughter I have not heard from you in two weeks, son I still have your boxes waiting, come and get them out of my car.....please. I'm in a crash and can't drive, move or lift them out of my vehicle. It's been almost a month......thank you.
To my sister. I love you. I wish you would e-mail me more regularly. I know that you are now involved with a fan club for a budding star. I get that it is fun and a great outlet for you. You have been criss crossing the country to go see his concerts and you are his biggest fan. You came through my city after going to a concert and had one hour to spend with me. 60 minutes, I admit it, I am jealous and hurt. When I do hear from you it is about how sick, busy, etc. that you are, but your facebook page tells a whole other story. You have been to how many concerts? On how many trips? What happened to sisterhood sister?
To my other dear sister, I love you too. I appreciate that you do call, now can you respect some boundaries? I cannot spend 6-8 hours talking to you. (This is not an exaggeration.) I love talking with you, but can we pare it down to an hour or so? When you call especially at night and want to talk it throws me off for days. I have explained this to you time and again, now it's time for some tough love.
To friends that want to fix me.....accept me as I am. This is who I am now. I can't go out and have an active social life. I don't want you to clean my house or do stuff for me, I truly could use your time to talk, to relate, to share life with.
To the contractor's helper. When I addressed that someone had dropping a boulder on my new azalea plant, effectively killing it ---- you said it that's the worst thing in your life you have nothing to complain about? What the heck? Apologize and replace the plant. Do you really want to take on my life and what I have to deal with? I've been ill since 1998......can we talk?
To the contractor. I can't believe that you yelled at my daughter. Stormed off the job and showed such an utter lack of maturity and professionalism. She simply asked you for receipts in order to reimburse you (for things you said we had not paid you for). It was the final day and you came unprepared with anything save your temper. Who does that? She addressed the reality with you, presented you with the notes and all the receipts she did have. You called her names, yelled and acted like a horse's behind. Grow up, don't yell at ladies...which is how my daughter conducted herself. What is your problem?
To the cleaning lady. Please spare me your opinions on how I decorate, the fact that I have a tendency to buy things I already have. I have brain fog and end up with 3 bottles of dish detergent or 4 bottles of shampoo. It's not on purpose, I have cognitive memory problems, I have told you this, now I ask you to believe me. Also do not ask me for things in my home......they are mine, it is just that simple. To date you have asked for several items outright and hinted at others. One day you asked for a very nice laundry hamper upstairs. I was caught off guard, talking to the bug man. That day I said yes, because I was flustered. In truth I had no intention or reason to give it to you. It's rude and just plain wrong. I would never do that to you. What the heck?
I am not a store with items stocked for your use...this is my home.
To me, now that you got all that crabbing off your chest do you feel taller? Proud? Better? I'm not sure. Intellectually I feel small, emotionally I feel better for letting off steam. I know better, I can do better.....people can make a girl crazy sometimes and yes, I still want to justify my vent.......I have a lot more growing up to do. So to all of the people I vented about......I will try, will you try too......?
I will try to be better at setting boundaries, saying no, standing up for myself and not letting things bottle up. Please don't take advantage of my home, my circumstances or my cognitive problems. Don't bully or use me, I won't do that to you and things will get better.
One day at a time, live from a crash in the north woods. Hugs to all and thanks for letting me vent, rant and whine.
Take care..............
Blessings, Elizabeth
Gentle hugs
Take care my dear friend.