First of all, we all cycle through the various coping stages, as we live, whether it's about a death or a disease. Denial, anger, bargaining, blah blah blah etc etc....

That said? IF you do not accept the *pragmatic* realities of it? You can damage your body, same as if you overdid it while having diabetes or RA or MS or similar. So you can't "be what you were". OK. What will you be *now*? That's a question, not a final statement of your existence for all time. I sound preachy, but I was dx'd with epilepsy-for-life at age 19 and it meant I changed my education and career plans (my seizures were not yet controlled, so med school was not viable). I didn't like the dx. Or what it meant. Or "did" to my life. But I am still here and still had a good life, because I was willing to accept not the disease but that it didn't mean *everything* was over. Other things were still possible. I focused on those.

Fast forward. I'm 25, get dx'd with Fibro. I'm now 45. I once managed 8 years of "remission" by accepting medical advice, tracking my body's ups and downs for patterns, and accommodating the fibro as if it's a roommate, so to speak. Same as I did with epilepsy. Ergo the long "remission" (no meds, either! Ah, sweet times! Only an occasional, quick flare, a few times a year. Miss those days, hope to have them again.)

Is that acceptance? Eh. SOmetimes it gets to that point. Mostly, I'm happy with "acknowledgement" of what it means. That may be acceptance for some. For me, acceptance means I don't cycle thorugh the whole Anger Grief stuff as often as, alas, I still do.

So maybe start with "I acknowledge" and go from there?

I am rambling, apologies, fibro is a bit up high today from weather, but the point is: It's okay to be upset, to grieve the what-ifs and will-nots, but please, do not think this is The End, okay? It's not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis and neither are the treatments, so there's always *hope*. Many of us have good to better symptom control on meds, may have "meh" (that's me!), and some have "lousy".... But as I know, that can and does change. So give yourself room to grieve, but also give yourself room to keep trying to find a better control of the symptoms so you can feel better?

Sorry, lost my train of thought, just got pounced on by a wet cat. It is impossible to concentrate when a wet cat wants attention.

Healing hopes to you,
Leo

I went through the denial stage for about a year until I realized that it is what it is. I need to make the most out of life. Does it mean I can't do some of the things I used to? Yes. But I try to enjoy the things I can do. I have tried a gammut of drugs and nothing seemed to help me at this point I use only a muscle relaxer when needed and I have Xanax for the very bad days. I don't use it often at all. I still have the script from 6 months ago.

I have many symptoms of MS and Lupus as well. I am seeing a neurologist next week. This will be my 3rd Neurolgist as the others just dismissed me (and the lesion on my brain).

So the long and short of it is, no I can't do everything I did a before, but I can still do a great deal of things without suffering all of the time. I just do them in moderation.

Good luck PegZo, I hope you find something that works for you.

I'm a tad older than you and have had fibro since 1998. It has taken me such a long time to reach acceptance (especially because mine is mod/severe and I couldn't continue working as an RN).

Since you may have MS, there's a muscle relaxant called tizanidine that is pretty powerful (I always try fractions of the lowest dose of any med to see how I tolerate). I use tizanidine in combination with an opioid (like percocet) and get major relief of pain. The FDA approved drugs for fibro didn't help me at all and I found their side effects intolerable.

It helps to have a doc who will work with you to find some combination of drugs that will lessen your pain. I try to rotate my use of tizanidine, for instance, with another muscle relaxant, baclofen, so my liver doesn't get rid of it so efficiently.

The main thing is to back off a bit on activity and try to find a little exercise that you can do without consequence later. The upper body tends to be a problem, so clinicians have advised that you perform movements with your arms close to the body.

There's good website (http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org) with a class and videos on how to do pacing (keeping the activity level to what you can tolerate without consequences) . I like also, Toni Bernard's book: How to Live with Chronic Pain and Illness.

Good luck!

Thank you so much for your support and idea's. I will keep in mind all that you have said as I journey though the next year with trying some natural ways to help myself. I have not found a the right combination of meds that help unless I stay still and don't move.
Have a wonderful holiday!

You are not alone in how you are feeling. I was diagnosed in 1996 and I still have many days that I'm in denial. So many people want to put me over their knee because I always do more than I should and pay later. Hugs GB

My body doesn't let me go in denial. It's always around. Some days (as in daytime) I might feel pretty good for longer than my usual 3 hours. That's usually a sign that evenings will be tough. I wish I had times of denial.

I agree with Leo. I think that we all cycle through various stages of pity parties, grief, anger and so on. The bottom line is that it isn't particularly helpful or productive. The added stress of being in emotional upheaval makes the symptoms worse. I've become emotionally flexible and generally roll with the ups and downs of my symptoms.

I've been dealing with this for almost eight years. My life is not over. I have retooled my interests to accommodate my limitations and developed new ones. I went to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to learn how to cope with a diagnosis of chronic illness. That is a big part of my tool box. I respect my limits and know how to say "no" regardless of the wrath of Khan (lol) or whoever else doesn't like that word or won't accept that I meant what I said. Winston Churchill said "If you are going through hell, keep going." That is my motto.

Becoming your own best advocate when it comes to managing chronic illness is important. Finding doctors who will work with you in a collaborative manner and respect your observations is important. If you have *some* control, things are more bearable.

I've used acupuncture in the past. Be aware that there could be an uptick in pain initially. It worked pretty well for me but you have to continue to go. I could not afford the out of pocket expense in the long run.

Do you have a copy of "Fibromyalgia for Dummies?" You can find this book on Amazon. It will give you a comprehensive overview of this complex illness and a lot of ways to try and manage it. Knowledge is power.

Have you seen a pain management doctor? Understand that pain management is not about removing the pain entirely. It is focused on restoring some quality of life to the patient.

And finally, there is a relatively new medical wearable device called Quell. It came to the market approved by the FDA in June of 2015. I have had mine since June and find it extremely helpful. Basically, it is an external Neuro stimulator that is worn around the calf of the leg. It sends pulse into your central nervous system that causes your brain to release pain killing endorphins which affect the entire body. It works for 81% of the people that try it. It does not work for migraines. It is not covered by insurance. The cost is $250 for the device and then about $30 a month for the electrodes. There is a 60 day money back guarantee. You can read about it at Quell Pain Relief Dot Com.

I hope that my comments are helpful to you. Take care of yourself! Merry Christmas!

I got taken off of valume, and opiets. All the drs won't perscribe both .

Some recent research on CBT studied a free, 12 week online CBT course called MOOD-gym. It's still in operation. Results very favorable for fibro. pts.

Carefully graded exercise & CBT helped teens with fibro more than meds. Whatever gives one a sense of self-efficacy