Just being there for her, listening to her, and caring about what she says means a great deal :) My real friends always want to know how I am and always there for me when I need them to listen to me vent LOL Some people call it whining, but we call it "sharing"! Sharing with friends that want to listen and that really care is the best thing any friend can do for another in my humble opinion :) WOW, friends for 56 years, I think she already knows you are there for her and care about what she is going through. I know I feel helpless, too, not being able to do more for my friends but with so many people now days too busy to listen, too busy to let others know they care, until when we see our friends that do, it means all the world to us :) I am sorry about your back pain but glad you can safely manage it!

How nice of you to go looking for help and suggestions. You are a great friend!

I recommend the book "Fibromyalgia for Dummies." It is available on Amazon. Good, comprehensive book on this comes illness. We recommend this book a lot.

Respect her limits and don't act disappointed or angry when she has to change or cancel and. Listen. Don't disappear; many of us have lost friends who just aren't willing to make an effort. Thanks for asking. I wish more people would follow your example.

That should read complex illness. Auto correct strikes again!

I believe what the others say, just be there and respect her limits. Also know that everyday isn't the same. For example, there are days that I can walk a mile and others I can't walk 400 ft. Many of us have also been through the gamet of medications. Some help, some make it worse and some work for a period of time. Your friend is lucky to have you.

Hello there! You're indeed a good friend, to want to learn about fibromyalgia. I know I lost all of my friends in part due to my inability to explain what I felt and the mindsets it might bring.

There's an article that, for me, rather nails on the head in a very comprehensive way what the energy limitations of fibromyalgia feel like for me. It was written by a person suffering from Lupus, but many chronic fatigue and chronic pain patients identify with it.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Have a great day!

Tazzvett, you are the best friend a chronically ill person can have! From personal experience, its very hard for me to call mom, a sister, or a friend to say, "hi, i'm not able to get to the store but seriously it's been two days since i ran out of coffee and i'm nearly homicidal". So when a friend asked me earlier this week, honestly and lovingly, what she could do...i asked her to make a couple freezer meals for me. Tough on the pride, but she has made my life SO much easier this week. My sister buys fresh produce for me at the weekly farmers market when i can't get there. My mom will gladly pick up prescriptions for me.

I could not get through this without them.

My suggestion is to ask your friend specifically what you can help with. Maybe she needs her dry cleaning picked up. Maybe her next appointment is two hours away and its too far for her to drive. Maybe she needs you to take her on a long, quiet drive througj the woods so she sees something besides her own four walls. My point is, only she can tell you what she needs. Just please be sure you follow through. Three people had previously promised me meals, and this lovely gal was the only one who actually brought them.

So a couple things to understand about our buddy Fibromyalgia:

Over time, it changes a person. We cannot do what we used to do, whatever that used to be. And often if we try, we pay dearly -- for days. So we have to pace ourselves, which usually means that we can't say "yes" to all the things that we used to do.

Medications sometimes help, often times not. We are also not able to be as fierce with our physical activity. Weight gain is common. So then we don't feel as good about ourselves. We also might not be able to attend certain functions because our weight fluctuates so much we simply do not have the attire.

Fibro is financially draining. Many of us can only work PT or are on disability. Some of us work FT and that takes so much out of us we don't have a lot of energy left for other things. Many people who do work, work to pay for medications which can be very expensive. Some of my friends don't understand why I don't have the money for things, but "live a life of leisure" by not working full time. Meanwhile, my husband is paying all the bills and trying to save enough for retirement for both of us to live on, so no, I don't have money for concert tickets that are $300 a seat (seriously had this convo with a friend.) So thank you, from all of us, for trying to understand. Ultimately, as others have said, only your friend can really tell you what she needs and understand those needs might change from time to time based on the fluctations of her symptoms.

Light excersize helps me with pain. I take a little walk and it helps loosen up my joints and gives me a little relief from inflammation. It sometimes helps with cramping too.

I know how you feel. My husband was just diagnosed in the last 3 months. I joined this group to find help and support for him and myself. You are a true friend.