It's pretty common to have problems with family and friends. Some know it all's believe that Fibromyalgia is a waste basket diagnosis when doctors run out of ideas. That is not the case. Fibromyalgia has its own diagnostic code and is a real disease.

Could you get one of the doubters to go with you to a medical appointment? That way, they can hear firsthand from a doctor what is going on. Do you have the book "Fibromyalgia for Dummies" which is a good educational tool?

Remind these folks that you would never treat them like that if the tables were turned. I'm sorry that you have such a lack of support at home. We have a very active group on this site with a daily check in. It might help you feel less isolated to try and join in. Just look for the puma avatar and the day of the week in the title of the thread. Take care.

Sounds like you've got it rough. It's very difficult, isn't it and really can feel so very lonely sometimes. Sometimes people don't understand (and it is hard having someone close with weird chronic health conditions) but sometimes people are harsh and don't want to understand. I've been really ill for a few years now and have noticed that people around me are well intention-ed but there is a degree of fatigue in their ability to cope with my ill-health. Sadly, it really is quite common. There are tricks you can learn to try and communicate with people about what you're going through but you may also need some form of 'outside' support, just for you, where you can really focus on your experience of being ill. How you do this is unique to you, be it counselling, other medical staff, complementary therapies of various types, support groups, whatever 'clicks' (I do them all, btw).

But yeah, it happens quite a lot and yeah, it's lonely and it sucks.

Big hugs

Supportive hugs

I agree with the others. I was going to a yoga class at my church for a while and then I quit because it was too difficult to go. I went to church one day and saw the yoga instructor. I talked to him for a minute and he asked my why I hadn't been to class. I told him that I just didn't feel up to it and couldn't make it because I felt so bad. He looked at me and said, "You look fine to me," and gave me a look like he thought I was lying. I just wanted to punch him, but just walked away. I don't understand why people think we're not being honest about how we feel just because we don't show it physically. It's so frustrating. Luckily I live alone with my animals and they are just fine cuddling with me as long as I want to.

Just know that it's common for people like us and hope that they can get more involved with your medical appointments and can learn more about what you are going through. You can always come to us for support and know that you are not alone.

Susan

I think that people that don't suffer from fibro can't really understand what we go through. That being said I think that getting family involved will help them to learn at least some of what you go through. I would leave the book Fibro for dummies out on the coffee table where they will see it. Sometimes it is easier to let them be curious without trying to get them to do it for you. If it is there in plain sight they will pick it up and read at least a bit which will help. I am sorry you feel so alone and would encourage you to jump in and read the daily check ins. In time you will see that you are not alone and that you have many friends on this site that understand and will be here to support you. We are the best group of people one could ask for. I hope this helps.

It does seem like a common occurrence I hear it all the time "why is a 24 year old tired all the time it must be laziness" it cuts me to the core especially when I really want to partake in a task but just feel so horrible I cant. What I did with my family was didn't take my tablets for a day or two (not recommended) and they seen how much pain I was in when they had to physically put me to bed. Then they realised. Hope your okay xxx

Thank You! It is frustrating when people look at you and just because on the outside they don't see anything they assume there's nothing wrong, people don't know how you actually feel. It's mostly my husband who is the most critical. It's just lonely that my partner in life isn't there for me supportively. I know it can be hard for some men to be supportive in that way but he won't even take the time to understand it just a little. He said that he would go to the doctors with me and read these papers on it but he never did. I don't know anywhere around me that has a support group. I also want to find a better doctor in my area. If anyone knows of anything in Michigan in the Southeastern area that would be great. It sucks that we have to go to extreme lengths to prove ourselves just to show we have a real condition and that we have something actually wrong with us too. I had a huge, I mean major flare up that I went to the ER for I couldn't move, turn, nothing, I was in so much pain, and of course these idiots at the ER just looked at me like I wanted pain meds and like I was faking it, that was a real treat, but it made my husband realize wow she really is in a crap ton of pain and there is something wrong with her. That's another thing the medical professionals that aren't educated they look at you like you just want drugs, especially now when more more people are going to the ER for pain meds. Luckily, I can just call my doctor now, and fibromyalgia is become a little more known, but my doctor still doesn't know crap about it. He prescribes me what I tell him for my fibromyalgia.

My daughter has fibro and I see people judging her all the time. It is difficult to see people treat her like that. I have MS and because of this I try my best to understand her. My husband does not understand neither one of us. There is no way to make him understand the pain she goes through. All I can do is be there for her when she needs it.

I understand your feelings so well!!! What I have come to realize is that those without fibromyalgia can not understand how it feels or affects us. I know there are days it is all I can do to get out of bed, then there are days when I feel almost normal and can get so much done- unfortunately I usually try to cram so much into those good days that I pay for it the next few days. hang in there and know that you're not alone- I have been giving my loved ones reading material so they can understand and there are so many pictures with quotes on them to help understand-so I post those on my facebook page-in hopes that my husband and children see. There are days I don't even have the strength to have a conversation- I know this is hard for others without this illness to understand and for that I give them grace and try my best to not let their words and thoughts affect me-as they tend to make me worse when I let them get to me.... praying with you- one day at a time and gentle hugs!!!!

I get the judging comments all the time too. It's hard enough from strangers, but my husband and I fight a lot because he's not very supportive either. I try to get him to come to my appts but it's like pulling teeth. He'd rather be out surfing or doing something else more productive he argues.

We're traveling at the moment on vacation and I usually have to arrange for wheelchair service with the airlines. We stayed in California for a few days and had to pick up & drop off the car rental. We asked the lady where we could get a wheelchair since I had trouble walking the distance back to the terminal and the 1st thing she looked at was my legs and feet. I'm in my 30's but even worse, I look like I'm 20 something. So to her I didn't look old OR crippled. She was wondering what on earth I needed a wheelchair for. We did not bother explaining, just got out of there. None of her business.
Also during one of our check-ins when we requested a wheelchair (I was the only one waiting for one), we saw the wheelchair guys come over, but when they looked around and I assume didn't see an old lady, they put the wheelchairs away. My husband had to go over and get them and the guy grabbed the biggest widest one for an obese person (I'm petite). WTH. Ok, so if not old, they must be too fat to walk! UGH. People are ignorant.