First, you are in a crisis mode. The best pay-back for this type of tactic is to stay strong, work with hubby, and embrace the family with kindness. That will turn the depression into a strength mode which will help you gain more control with the medical conditions and what works best for you to relax, keep focused.
Please know that they are doing what works based on their experience, which is nothing like yours. You are only responsible for how you view the situation, and you can change how it affects you by letting them blow hot words into the wind, knowing you are being responsible for your well-being.
I had to stand in front of the mirror practicing my smile to help me stay calm when the words started flying. Once I was able to just listen professionally (and keep my personal feelings out of the way), I started seeing the pattern of their thinking and instead of responding as I had before, I tried different words.
It takes determination, and as I was told by a friend one time, marriage does not mean you will agree about health issues, it just means you are able to work (sometimes, it takes a couple of heated bridge crossings) with each other's health issues.
Best wishes!

I'm sooo sorry! My heart truely is hurting for you!

You Are just trying to make it through. Really you are much.much stronger than any of those around You know.

I used to take meds and try to make it through most things i had to do with others. If I ever did slightly open up about what was going on I always regretted it later. They didn't understand and would sometimes give me advice that hurt my feelings. You know!

Its sad, I had breast cancer 9 years ago and people were amazingly supportive they could understand if i wasn't feeling so well.

That is so difficult to feel misunderstood. Only really open up to people you feel safe and unjudged by , if thats possible. I don't know if thats right or not but his family or anyone doesn't have the right to know everything about your health that you don't want them to.

Think of it as a way to make you powerful!!

Katy I am so sorry that you were treated that way. Unfortunately many people (dealing with many different issues) have spouses, friends, family that are unsupportive due to not really understanding the problem....FM, depression, whatever. I have been through this myself after dealing with PTSD and depression. First of all, please know this is not your fault. You are dealing with quite a bit here....the fact that you are dealing with chronic pain, unsupportive family, etc...no wonder you are feeling depressed as you say!

I am glad to see you are checking into classes for chronic pain. I recently did this too. My doc teaches the "down regulation of the central nervous system". By learning to control stress we can also control the pain that we feel. biofeedback is a great tool.

I also left my husband for many of the same reasons you cite. For me it actually decreased my stress and I am doing better than ever. I have no regrets. For you...please look into whatever programs are available in CO for insurance and Rx. Perhaps ask your doc. Use every resource you can to give yourself that strength to take care of you. Because YOU are what is important here.

Take care.
Rae

I'm kind of in the same boat as far as not being able to leave my situation due to lack of "everything" !
Do as much research as you can about help for yourself of any kind. I hope you can get out soon. :-) Take care

I too am sorry you have to go through this. In-laws have long had the history of making spouses feel like they aren't worthy of being part of the family.
I hate to see any marriage end except under extreme circumstances. I think you need to continue what works for you as far as coming on here. We are your support. Perhaps he is jealous of the friends you have made on here. It doesn't involve him.
Maybe you should find a counselor or someone he feels comfortable with to talk with you about your issues. Sit down and tell him how you feel about his family talking about you. Try not to be on attack mode, that will make him put up his defenses even more. Explain this is something that is going to be a part of your life, it isn't going away and the two of you need to find a middle ground.
I hope I am not stepping over my boundaries here. I just feel like you are wrestling with this and really want to work things out.
Hugs.

I'm sorry that you are being treated this way. I would ask him why he is siding with his family instead of with you.

I feel your pain. I'm trying to get my independence back as well. I am totally dependent on my boyfriend and hate it. He is not kind at times either. The best advice I can give is try everything in your power to get to a point where you can depend on yourself again. I am trying this and hoping for the best. Hugs

Katy - Legally you are entitled to 3 years of medical coverage if you divorce your husband. Because you are ill, it may be possible to require him to pay for it permanently. You need to see an attorney and talk about your options. Most divorce attornies do not charge for the initial session. If nothing else, you will gain an accurate understanding of what to expent. Empower yourself and amke an appointment today. Take care.

I'm so sorry. Most people are huge gossips, especially family. My theory on family is they think they don't have to have manners or speak to you as nice as they would to a stranger becuase you are family.

I don't tell anyone anything! No one, not family, I never post or tell anyone the meds I am on so they aren't stolen or blabbed, then the wrong person hears it and your house is robbed. Too easy to find info on the internet.

No 1 thing that sends my fibro into flare mode is stress. I worked in a very toxic job for 13 years and thought I'd have to go on disability when they laid me off recently. I couldn't go 2 weeks of work without missing several days. Once I was laid off, my pain went away!! I have been at a new job since August, and have never misssed a day and only had one or two rough days to ride out at work. I work full time. I knew the stress was bad for me but I never realized HOW bad it was from that job!!

Sometimes, cities will have resources that can help with medical bills, etc. I would think Denver would have some??? Do you have a friend or relative of yours that you could live with temporarily? How about stashing money away before you leave? Sorry, but you are married I don't mean rob him, but hey stash what you can so you have some when you go. I don't know if you have kids, but you'd at least get child support, and more help from the govt.

How about housesitting or that type of thing in Denver? What about being a nanny??

Hon, I feel so sorry for your situation, but you will truly feel better when you leave that stress behind.
Good Luck to you and keep us posted.

I hope you can find a way to work things out. You need to carefully consider whether you are really going to be better off leaving your marriage before you make such a drastic change, but if that's what you need to do, at least do it carefully, with a good plan.

Fantod the three years you refer to is probably COBRA, which doesn't require the husband to pay for the insurance - it only requires the company to offer continuing coverage. The court MIGHT require the husband to pay, but there's no guarantee of that, and COBRA definitely doesn't.

One thing to always carefully consider is that you may give up a lot of rights to support if you are the one who leaves, unless there is obvious and provable abuse.

Please proceed carefully and make sure you have a plan in place.

I love my MIL but she is always interjecting her "opinion" on how I feel and what is wrong with me. This coming from a woman who doesn't practice what she preaches. She has 10 stents and diabetes, more due to her dietary indiscretions and lack of exercise for years than anything else. I just smile and nod my head. My hubby takes it further and says I need to exercise more and I would feel better. He doesn't realize how much "exercise" I get just trying to keep up with things around here. My feet have neuropathy so if I go for a walk I better plan on propping my feet up for several hours afterward. The other day he started on me and I told him the day he gets the initials MD behind his name he could tell me what to do about this illness, otherwise, unless he has fibro and knows what I feel like he should keep his mouth shut. He has been very nice to me since then. Will see how long it lasts before I have to swat him down again, LOL!

so sorry that some of you are just plain stuck between a rock and a hard place. Prayers for you.

You don't owe us, your husband's family or your husband any reason/explanation whatsoever on which RX drugs you are taking. It is between you and your DOCTOR.

I would refuse to discuss your medications, pain, depression etc. with any of them, and I wouldn't take your RX's in front of anyone either. It's none of their business.

From what I'm possibly reading though, you said that you have "got high" *any more* from them in the past, which could be why your husband has trouble with them.

Also, one more thing....I'm wondering if you are mixing up misplaced concern? or is it truly that they don't like you? If you are truly wanting to leave, then it should be up to YOU, not them. Check in to some of the programs available to you such as free legal aid, RX discounts (or even free) from the drug companies, support groups etc.