Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
I know it is childish, but I was angry from what she said to me and I was about to swear at her and I decided it was better in that split second to just hang up.
She gave me the lecture that I should go out more and I would feel so much better blah blah blah. Well, I am not depressed I am in pain- I cant sit longer than 5 minutes and I cant stand very long either. I am an adult who can decide for herself when I am able to go out. No one can feel my pain but me. I know my abilities. She is talking about going out and socializing. My going out is errands and appts and things for my son, and was water therapy - but my back has been too bad to get to water therapy the last few weeks.
This hasnt been an issue between us in the past, she is usually understanding. We have been friends since junior high. We know each other very well- like sisters. She knows I hate being told what to do, I think it is intrusive- and that for a very long time just getting through a day is hard because of pain. I shouldnt have to defend myself with my best friend and I absolutely refuse to.
Also, she never had kids, so has no clue about those responsibilities- even when your kid is fifteen then add chronic pain illness and extras to that.
I have come to appreciate the little things in life and accept my limitations as they are that day or that hour. I push myself everyday just to accomplish the basics. I will no longer allow people to bring me down.
She gave me the lecture that I should go out more and I would feel so much better blah blah blah. Well, I am not depressed I am in pain- I cant sit longer than 5 minutes and I cant stand very long either. I am an adult who can decide for herself when I am able to go out. No one can feel my pain but me. I know my abilities. She is talking about going out and socializing. My going out is errands and appts and things for my son, and was water therapy - but my back has been too bad to get to water therapy the last few weeks.
This hasnt been an issue between us in the past, she is usually understanding. We have been friends since junior high. We know each other very well- like sisters. She knows I hate being told what to do, I think it is intrusive- and that for a very long time just getting through a day is hard because of pain. I shouldnt have to defend myself with my best friend and I absolutely refuse to.
Also, she never had kids, so has no clue about those responsibilities- even when your kid is fifteen then add chronic pain illness and extras to that.
I have come to appreciate the little things in life and accept my limitations as they are that day or that hour. I push myself everyday just to accomplish the basics. I will no longer allow people to bring me down.
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I'm alive, I'm sleeping like a rock, and for some reason I wanted cherry juice so that seems to be helping. (??? Weirdo that I am.)***Infamous therapies over history:1. The Attic. The madwoman in the attic is a motif in literature going waaaaaay back: the nutty female relative is locked in the attic. (See: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte for a grotesquely racist version of it, and Charlotte Perkins...
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We're all troubled.WSo, to remind ourselves we're not at rock bottom (this is a reverse optimism thing I learned as a kid):We are not living on the island of Krakatoa when the volcano goes boom!Yeah, okay, that sucks.***Toay in 1942, Pierre Laval announced that the way to free France was for Germany to win WW2. Pierre did not win a lot of friends. When the war ended, quite quickly he was tried...
particularly people who have witnessed our pain for a long time and have seen all the measures, desperate and otherwise that we have tried just fail time and again.
i think perhaps it is a little desperation on their own part .if they can just get us out and then.by some miracle or something just have it happen....deep wishes come true yaknow?.because they, like us.are out of ideas for a "fix".........desparate hope..that's what i think it is.
that is what i'm choosing to believe right now anyway.....keeps me from gettin mad , frustrated and just tearin my hair out.
...here is a little tangent........where but here could i say this "don't wanna get frustrated and tear my hair out.because tearin my hair out...HURTS MY ARMS TOO MUCH"...and have it make sense?:)................PEACE
No one understands fibro unless they have it and we can expect them to, they just want to help
She probably meant only the best for you, but still coming from someone who doesn't have a clue....well, I wouldn't have wanted to get in an argument, either. That would've simply gotten you more upset.
I found I could express myself better with a letter or email to someone like that. I could get all my thoughts out without getting into an arguing match.
Well, I wish you good things today. Hopefully your friend will realize that what she said didn't sit well with you, and she'll call you to make it right.
Take care....ELizabeth
My parents are not destitute and can afford to hire outside care.
We had a screaming argument that put me in bed for a day. But, I held my ground and continue to do so. No one is going to bully me either. I was, however, devastated that my sister of all people would treat me that way.
And the Best, Fastest Way Out of THAT Funk is to FORCE Your Way Out...Fighting Every Step of the Way...
However...FM is NOT Depression..it may Mimic, It Actually "Mimic" Alot of Diseases, Illnesses...this is what Troubles Everyone so much..there is some type of Looping Miscommunication in our CNS..and NO One is Going to Be Able to Understand it Unless they Have Had It..
We Need to Understand that They Do, and Cannot. they Can However Treat You With Respect..
Our Brains are Constantly Trying to "Make Sense of Things"....will Put things where they "Belong"..this is a Prime Example of that Ability..
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Your Friend is Only TRYING To Make Sense of Whats Going On...the Only Thing she Can Do Is Try to Encourage You..
We Also have the Human Ability to Say the Wrong Thing at the Wrong Time..Find Forgiveness in that....If Her Motives are to Help You..Find Peace in that You Are Loved.
Frustrations with this Abounds in Us All, those of us Who Experience it DAILY Do Not Even Understand...How Can we Expect Anyone Else to ?
I get that from my family,"if you would just try and go out in the sun for 15 minutes a day,you would not believe how much better you would feel".
Excuse me, this is my body,my fibro. If you cannot bring positive energy to me, then I cannot be around people who are negative.
I told some of my friends to get on the computer and at least try to read and understand what fibro is. At least take the effort.
I hope things work out for you; I am a hermit myself,if you'd like company!! lol
MaryKathryn
I have lost a lot of people along the way, try to think they're not all bad, just not right for my journey now. When I can I try to educate, when I can't I let it go. Sending you hugs in care of your journey, your friendships and total understanding of how it hits sometimes and why we need to get stop talking sometimes. It's hard to live it and hard for those who love us and see up on that stinkin' train.
Keep practicing great self-care measures......be kind to yourself ......sounds like she is a good friend and it was just really bad timing......we get it here, we understand! gentle air hugs!