Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
Saturday was a bad day... that day just pissed me off!
Yesterday i was SO depressed.... i felt like no matter how hard i try to do things, it wasn\'t good enough.
and you know.... for us, doing every little thing causes pain. Matthew asked me to hold up a small bracket to the wall so he could screw it in with the drill. it was only a few inches above my head, but after about 30 secs, my arms burned so bad with pain! i had to tell him to get my bro to help him and he got mad at me.
I felt like if I was "normal" none of these little things in life would hurt or bother me, let alone doing big things like fixing my car (i miss workin on it).
and then yesterday Matthew said he was tired of my anger and how i tend to yell.
i hit bottom..... i went upstairs and sat on the floor just sobbing. i was sick n tired of feeling this stupid pain!!!!!! i HATE IT!!!! my head got lower and lower till eventually i was laying it on the floor just f&cking crying.... i felt like i just wanted to curl up and die....
i wanted to scream!!!! that maybe if someone heard me, they would cure it, or it would just go away... but we all know that\'s not gonna happen. Matthew came upstairs eventually and apologized to me. he said he felt like an asshole, and that i\'m a really good person that has done more than anyone he knows. and they are all \'normal".
i feel a bit better today.... but every now and then i just can\'t help but feel "broken".... that the pain has overcome me. sometimes i wish other people would live in a our shoes for a day or two.... cuz i can\'t help it if things hurt so bad i can\'t do it! and then i feel like a failure and maybe i should curl up and die. BUT i always end up picking my self back up.... and continuing. I HATE LIVING WITH THIS SHIT.
thanks for letting me vent.... love you all here!
Yesterday i was SO depressed.... i felt like no matter how hard i try to do things, it wasn\'t good enough.
and you know.... for us, doing every little thing causes pain. Matthew asked me to hold up a small bracket to the wall so he could screw it in with the drill. it was only a few inches above my head, but after about 30 secs, my arms burned so bad with pain! i had to tell him to get my bro to help him and he got mad at me.
I felt like if I was "normal" none of these little things in life would hurt or bother me, let alone doing big things like fixing my car (i miss workin on it).
and then yesterday Matthew said he was tired of my anger and how i tend to yell.
i hit bottom..... i went upstairs and sat on the floor just sobbing. i was sick n tired of feeling this stupid pain!!!!!! i HATE IT!!!! my head got lower and lower till eventually i was laying it on the floor just f&cking crying.... i felt like i just wanted to curl up and die....
i wanted to scream!!!! that maybe if someone heard me, they would cure it, or it would just go away... but we all know that\'s not gonna happen. Matthew came upstairs eventually and apologized to me. he said he felt like an asshole, and that i\'m a really good person that has done more than anyone he knows. and they are all \'normal".
i feel a bit better today.... but every now and then i just can\'t help but feel "broken".... that the pain has overcome me. sometimes i wish other people would live in a our shoes for a day or two.... cuz i can\'t help it if things hurt so bad i can\'t do it! and then i feel like a failure and maybe i should curl up and die. BUT i always end up picking my self back up.... and continuing. I HATE LIVING WITH THIS SHIT.
thanks for letting me vent.... love you all here!
I\'m so sorry you\'re having such a hard time. Feeling "broken" is bad enough and having others come down on you for it is so unfair, but we have to remember that our loved ones get frustrated to - sometimes not at us, but for us.
My husband asked me recently what brings on a flare, and I just wanted to hug him because he actually wants to understand! So I took at lot of time explaining about flares and how they aren\'t always "brought on by..." but sometimes just happen. The randomness is a hard thing for people to wrap their brains around, and I think that\'s a source of frustration for us and for them.
We all want things to make sense, and fibro often makes no sense. Can\'t see it, can\'t test for it, can predict it, nothing that we can predict or control.
You\'re so lucky to have your mom - I\'d give anything to still have mine. I know it doesn\'t make your pain any less, but it\'s something to be thankful for. Matthew is trying...something else to be thankful for.
Vent anytime - it\'s a frustrating thing and sometimes I just lose it even though I have good support here. I just want to feel "normal" and I think that\'s what we all want.
Peace explained it beautifully.
Just allow yourself to have a bad day, put it behind you and hope tomorrow is better.
Take care xoxo
do hang in there..you are not alone. hugs x
One time I wanted to go get a glass of water in the kitchen. I had to hold on to the furniture as the pain was so bad and it took me 10 mins to walk there. I finally ended up sitting on the kitchen chair and was crying for about half an hour due to frustration.
I\'m glad Matthew came and apologized. It does help a bit.
I really want to say something profound to you right now, but I don\'t know what to say. I feel Exactly the same way as you do....Broken....that is a great word for it. and I HATE this life also. So, I guess I just want to say, I understand and you are not alone.
and i don\'t really wanna die... life is to good. but there are days where i just feel like it\'s too much. and the feeling of just wanting to curl up and die comes along. i\'m not suicidal or anything so don\'t worry... but days when i feel that way makes me feel closer to Raven and her suffering. i wish i could hug her for real.
i always get over that feeling.... but we are all only human. if i didn\'t have you all here, i don\'t know what would happen.... probably end up going completely NUTS! i mean, sanity completely out the window... talkin to people that aren\'t there... arguing with my self, little green creatures stalking me, i\'d probably even be wearing aluminum foil on my head! lol
anyways... you all ROCK! and if i could party, i would love to party with you all!
Even after 20 yrs, I still feel that way some days....I think Wonder is right....we need to let ourselves feel that way sometimes, because we have lost a "normal" life....I hope you are having a better day today.....I know what you mean about the bf...my hubby has done the same thing at times, then apologized later....this illness is hard on them too....
HUGS to you from down south :)
We all have to vent those frustrations, or otherwise, we\'ll just explode... None of this is fair.
We get caught between trying to hide our pain, and the need to let people know what our limits are. It is such a dichotomy. We don\'t want to bother people with our suffering, but we also need them to understand what this is like for us. Isn\'t it just enough to make you scream every now and then?
Hugs to you... and your sweet mom too!
I am alone now no one, husband gone , mom gone the 17th. Wonder how all alone?