Hugs and prayers for your pain. I kind of understand what you are feeling. I have No friends and am alone almost all the time. I have to go out to the stores to be around humans. My partner works 50 hours a week and has group 3 nights a week. Then on most weekends she is with friends. I feel so lost and hopeless most of the time. I wish we lived in the same area because I would definitely want to be your friend. I don't care about your house I care about you.

Admittedly, among those wtih therapists and some other support (mainly hubby, DS, a few friends IRL).... That said?

Tell the truth. Holding back helps no one. Also, you can tell the therapist what you said here, print it out, whatever, and explain that you don't know what to do about that void that won't also risk pain of some kind---physical, emotional, mental. ou're not suicidal, you're lonely, that's not that unusual. the therapist will have Bullshit ideas, they always do, but some might work... And might give you ideas. Try it once. If it's no good, hey, you tried!

Puma support

I'd rather print out the picture you posted yesterday. That's how I feel.

I'm here for you.

I'm so sorry how you're feeling. I can relate with you a lot. Good luck in giving it a try with the therapist if you choose. Btw I go to therapist for support in my chronic pain & my PTSD & ive had some REALLY rough days where I did not censor myself & I always go home. Unless they think you are extreme danger to yourself & others they don't really put people inpatient (and that's why I don't go when I'm pms'n lol just kidding). But heck, maybe give it a try ? :)
You have my support
(((((((((((Healing hugs))))))))))

I know you feel alone, but we are all here for you and we understand to a degree how you feel. Fibro is good about taking everything from us and leaving that hampster wheel turned on in our head. I think therapy is a good ida. I wish you so much luck with the therapist, it's not bad like you think.

Sorry to be the voice of dissent here, but I have never found therapy helpful. I have been a couple of times to various types of counseling, and they never were a bit of help. So much so that the counselor actually said, "I don't see the point of having any more sessions with you unless you want to pay someone to listen to what you have to say. I can't give you any more coping mechanisms than you are already using. Frankly if I were in your shoes I would be probably be suicidal." (I was quite alarmed by that statement! So much for a professional opinion. )

Now that I have this dx of "persistant positive visual phenomenon in migraine" , which means my migraines have reached a severity only seen by a very small percentage of those with migraine diagnosis, and also means that no preventatives or abortives will help, I am supposed to seek therapy to help me "feel my best self." I looked at that specialist and said, "Can you fix the headache?" He said, "No, Mrs. PuppyMom. There is no medicine to fix this." I then asked, "Can you stop the dizziness, nausea, room spinning, body aches or the room covered in flashing lights? Because not having to deal with that crap on a daily basis would really be helpful. " He said, "Well, no, those are all symptoms of out of control migraine. And the flashing lights are actually the misfirings of your synapses in your brain." (This was actually said with a smile. Thanks for the info, but I might have NOT needed to know that part. ) Me: "Ok, well if you want me to feel my best self, you could fix the stuff that is bothering me. Since actual medical science can't help me, I really can't waste time or money speaking to someone about my feelings."

Just my two cents . . . Anyone else miss the cents key? Just me? Guess I'll have to up my rates :).

I was pleasantly surprised by the therapist. She actually wanted to move too fast. She knows someone to help me with my house. She knows that's a source of stress for me. But she wanted me to make a decision while I'm sitting here exhausted from the appointment and from going grocery shopping. I explained to her on the phone that exhaustion and low energy rules my life. I didn't even work this week and I'm toast. Tomorrow I see a g.p. I'm hoping to get him as my doctor so that I can stop paying the "concierge" doctor I have now. But his office does not inspire confidence. They called me four times to confirm my 3:30 appointment. Then, late today, they called to confirm my 1:00 appointment. WTF???? I said my appointment is for 3:30. I was told the doctor never sees patients after 3:00. So I'm going at 1:00. Good grief. In the middle of all this the therapist called and I was barely able to talk. I told her it's too soon; I can't take pressure; can't make a decision. I'm seeing her next week. I hope I'll be able to handle the house cleaner issue next week. I want her, but I'm toast right now. I think the therapist saw my problem when we were on the phone. I was animated when I saw her. I'm toast now. Can't get out of bed. Well, she neds the truth. Now she has it. I am grateful to all of you that responded to my mayday.

Just saw this as Ive been off DS but just wanted to say congratulations on your courage and strength! I will always remember the first time i started therapy...nervous as heck but it opened up a world id never dreamed possible. 30 yrs off and on now due to childhood neglect, and anxiety but it just gets better and better. Now if i could just heal the body............ best wishes!

I am so glad that this therapist really wants to help you. Having someone come in to clean can be a huge blessing. No pressure though. It is good that she was able to see how much doing things takes out of you. For some of us even pacing isn't enough. Having help is going to be a blessing. It will just take you time to get used to. You can tell her what you want done and what to leave alone. I hope now that the apt is over you will let down and rest.

I think a therapist could be a good thing. I had one and she really helped me out in my time of need. Glad everything is working out for you :)

Wolf, I get it...I totally get it.

I don't have much more than you have. I was just telling my hubby yesterday that I don't get enough human to human interaction. I have my kids, and they are my world. But I am mom, I can't talk to them on a friend to friend basis.
I talk to my mom a few times a week, but that sometimes is like walking through a mine field, so I refrain 90% of what I really want to say.

And my hubby...when he gets home he's exhausted mentally. And social skills is not his strong suit.

I went from a social butterfly to a hermit crab lifestyle. And I'm still left scratching my head over it all. I know my blessings, and I am thankful for them each day, but there is still that void.

The void of not feeling accomplished. ( I was the girl working 2-3 jobs most my life).
The void of human interaction.
The void of the loss of the life I once had.
And my other stress...is the need for a clean home. I get really anxious in an unclean home (that I live in). I stress about getting things clean, and it gets worse when my body won't cooperate.

And like Puppy above, I too am a failed case at therapy. I'm too private. I don't like talking about things with strangers. So I just don't share it. I tried and had pretty much the same comment said to me about why am I there?

But all of that has lead me on a spiritual path (that works for me). My voids are filled most of the time. When I stress, I pull out my faith filled activities and I'm in my comfort zone again.

I'm not saying that a spiritual path is right for everyone, that is all a personal choice. But what I am saying is I was forced into finding what worked for me. I placed so much dependence on my comfort around others or other things that it was constantly failing me. And each time, internally I took a tumble.

I'm glad to see that you possibly have a good therapist there. And I hope the new doc works out. Remember, not every good doctor has good staff behind them. Sometimes, great MD's are working at clinics have crappy management. I've seen that happen a few too many times.

I hope you find comfort again. Built on your own foundation.