Fibromyalgia Support Group
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This is a case of fibro fog that I just can't get past.
I have 3 dogs and my partner and I take them out in our backyard because, as sweet as they are with us, they don't like other dogs, at all. Connie was out of the house today, so they were my responsibility all day. I took them out awhile ago, and the 2 little dogs were ready to come in pretty quickly. It had been raining on and off all day. But Roxy, our shepherd mix, wanted to stay out a bit longer. She sat herself on the wet ground and seemed to be okay. I went inside, figuring I'd bring her in as soon as I heard her bark. That's usually how she announces she's ready to come in. But not this time.
It started raining hard and had been for about 20 minutes. I had completely forgotten that Roxy was outside! How is that possible?!? I live for my dogs! They're my babies! And why didn't she bark? She never barked! But that's not an excuse -- it was MY responsibility to get her out of the rain.
When I finally got up from the couch to go to the kitchen, I saw her waiting right outside the back door. She was drenched! I let her in and started apologizing to her as I tried to dry her off. But I was crying so hard, I had a difficult time saying anything. Roxy doesn't like it when people cry (it has to do with an abusive household she used to live in). But I just could not stop -- I mean, I was sobbing like my heart was breaking. I can't forgive myself for forgetting my dog. I just feel so awful that this happened. She was SO drenched and was probably wondering where I was when it started raining. Okay, now I'm crying again.
Up to now, fibro fog had just been a big annoyance. Now it's moved over to being a danger to my puppies! I feel like I can't move.
I have 3 dogs and my partner and I take them out in our backyard because, as sweet as they are with us, they don't like other dogs, at all. Connie was out of the house today, so they were my responsibility all day. I took them out awhile ago, and the 2 little dogs were ready to come in pretty quickly. It had been raining on and off all day. But Roxy, our shepherd mix, wanted to stay out a bit longer. She sat herself on the wet ground and seemed to be okay. I went inside, figuring I'd bring her in as soon as I heard her bark. That's usually how she announces she's ready to come in. But not this time.
It started raining hard and had been for about 20 minutes. I had completely forgotten that Roxy was outside! How is that possible?!? I live for my dogs! They're my babies! And why didn't she bark? She never barked! But that's not an excuse -- it was MY responsibility to get her out of the rain.
When I finally got up from the couch to go to the kitchen, I saw her waiting right outside the back door. She was drenched! I let her in and started apologizing to her as I tried to dry her off. But I was crying so hard, I had a difficult time saying anything. Roxy doesn't like it when people cry (it has to do with an abusive household she used to live in). But I just could not stop -- I mean, I was sobbing like my heart was breaking. I can't forgive myself for forgetting my dog. I just feel so awful that this happened. She was SO drenched and was probably wondering where I was when it started raining. Okay, now I'm crying again.
Up to now, fibro fog had just been a big annoyance. Now it's moved over to being a danger to my puppies! I feel like I can't move.
i know you took this completely to heart and it hurt your soul........love on your dog.......ask forgiveness and then forgive yourself. create notes in strategic places for important things that reminders can help you with.........at my worst i use little notes in like ten places cause it increases the probability of success.
you're a good pet mom........ i know it cracked your tender heart......honey, you can continue to do your best, set up reminder post its and most importantly forgive yourself...........
i've made whopper mistakes over the course of a lifetime......all we can do is pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off via forgiveness and try try again.............soft squishy hugs.
soft hugs,
leo
She's probably how lucky she is to have you for an owner.
I'm going to sleep tonight feeling completely different than I did a few hours ago. Your compassion has made it so much easier to start to forgive myself.
The notes are a good idea but please don't be so hard on yourself. I understand how important your babies are but you still are a good owner.
tender hugs for you and your furry ones!
.......i went through a bout of fog where i didn't know if i had eaten.....if i had fed my pets.........very confused.
for awhile there i would end up shaking cause i was so hungry from not eating......the next day i would forget i had eaten and then eat two dinners one close after the other and end up sick
or i would forget to feed the cat kids ........sigh, sadness.........or i would accidentally feed them two meals back to back. it was a really bad flare.
i didn't mean to suggest the notes as a criticism in any way...........i would stick post-it notes on the bathroom mirror, the computer screen, the back door, the window over the kitchen sink......and still forget, so I doubled my note trail........and still forgot.......then i wrote BIGGER NOTES in lipstick......
since I never go anywhere may as well use lipstick as sharpies in this off-road life at home............so i had these mini billboards dotting the interior landscape of my home..........so i wouldn't over or underfeed any of the residents of this in home tiny community of one foggy bottom girl and two sweet kittums.
more hugs..........