What a challenging situation you are in! I'm sure the stress & financial strain does not help the Fibro at all. Good for you for planning yr future & reaching for that education.

From the ay you describe your life, getting involved with a guy & becoming sexually active is the LAST thing you need to be contemplating. You are not ready. Once you get that GED, gain confidence & get into college, you'll likely be more ready. THis is the time for you to work on YOU. If you have peripheral health issues (smoking, junk food, weight etc) you are in aposition to address it NOW. Once you become busy with your studies, you'll be focused on academic success. Take advantage of the time you have on your hands to help yourself out all you can. Do you exercise at all? I don't mean like an athlete; but even going for a daily walf as far & as fast as is comfortable for YOU?

Your mother really is a trooper & the job she does is not an easy one. Cleaning MY home is enough for me! YIKES! You CAN make 'real' friends readily. You've met US all in one shot simply by showing up, creating a profile & posting! We're a really friendly lot & we're all 'real' people (I do NOT livr in a computer!) who also have Fibro. I'm across the country in QC. Some are in the US, Great Britain...everywhere. Writing here will be good for you in many ways: you'll connect to a variety of people of many bkgds & ages, you'll be able to express all you're feeling judgment free, you'll practice the writing skills you'll need when you get to school.

Please make use of the journal feature: you can lock it so only you see it or only 'friends' can see it. Mine is just 'out there' for anyone to read & comment on. You can lock some entries & leave others open. A good thing here is that you'll be in a 'safe' & mom-free zone. No matter how close you 2 are, you need a place to be just yourself: not someone's daughter. It is amazing what you'll learn about yourself through journalling.

Please pm me re the SPCA. If you email or fax me the form you have from them, I'll write the cheque for $10. This is NOT charity; but peole with Fibro helping others with it too. Knowing how & when to accept help graciously is an important 'grown up' skill. Misplaced 'pride' that deprives you of benefits you can use, serves no constructive purpose. We all need a boost up sometimes. Coming here is one of my biggies. Think it over.

I seriously do not see the issue with mom being open. My kids are 22 and 20. Sex has been an open topic in this house since the girls were little and I so do mean open - not sharing intemiate details but questions have always been answered honestly. My youngest is not fond of the fact that her sister and I are totally open about it but she accepts it. As far as mom and the school thing goes I also do not see issue with this. All I have ever wanted for my girls is for them to be happy in whatever they do in life and miracles of miracles that philosphy has payed off as Mel managed to get thru nursing school with straight As and will be going back in January for her NP degree and Tory is in nursing school.

Now about the sex issue. Don't rush it hun. You have all the time in the world. The pain thing might rear its ugly head I will not lie to you and yes I mean because of the fibro but because sex release endorphins they do tend to also eliviate pain. There might be the regular bit of uncomfortableness that sometimes comes with loosing ones virginity but thats what they make lubricants for. The most important thing is to talk about it preferably before hand.

Also DS has a healthy sex board which I am a member of and highly recommend. We do have a ton of fun over there but you can also learn alot if you would like to come join us

Love & Peace
Raven

I am really tired so I dont have it in me to read all the responces Im sure you got ones of all kinds. here is my thought on it.

FIrst when you do find the right person, he will be understanding and take things slow with you. THat is going to be very important. If he is gental and you take it at the pace you are both comfortable with it will be alright. I had my first time around 16. Not that Im promoting early sexuality it was just right for me. It was with my first love and he was a lot older then me. I had fibro as a teen too but was undiagnosed. He was gental and kind and it all worked out. I had emotional hangups to deal with to from a bad childhood... he was just the right person to be tender and caring.

I think its wonderful you and your mom have this kind of relationship that you can talk so openly. that is sooo important. Keep that relationship strong.

Sex in the right mood will produce the right chemical responce and will release endorphanes to help keep it from hurting so much. If your not in the right mind frame dont push it because it will hurt. ANd there is more to sex then just intercourse. DOnt forget that. YOu can take it slow and explore and talk about the things that feel good and go from there.....

hugs and dont be embarrassed to talk... and ask questions we are all pretty open with talking about the taboo stuff

My mom was totally the opposite of yours. she never ever talked about sex and she handed me a book when I started to ask. So for a while I kind of associated it with something bad. So I understand the fear of pain in that way. Mothers do the best they can and try to protect and get you ready at the sametime. It is a hard subject. Later. I understood it to be something beautiful and spiritual. I waited a long time. I felt strongly about it being special not something to be done with or get over.

Sex is viewed differently now. Ive been really surprised how how younger people look at it. So you might find it more casual out of home then you think. many of these ladies had great advice and I think the fear of pain is worse the any actual pain. And there is more out there you have to be wary of as far as protecting yourself and definitely standing up for yourself as far as health. If you do have pain, after getting use to it, then you do need to see a doctor and speak up. There is no reason not to, even if you are shy. Doctors have heard everything, believe me!! You might even say, Im a bit shy but I need to ask..and then ask. There are many things out there to help with sexual issues. We are no longer in the stone age. lol

Sounds like to me, you have a good head on your shoulders! Im so proud to know someone who is planning on school and more with her life. Very exciting. And If anyone should make you feel pushed or uncomfortable tell them that or change the subject. It is no ones bussiness but YOURS.

@ redsilverfox - Thank you. I actually don't take any meds. Just advil before a shower.

@CielLune - I don't smoke. But last year I found my grandma's shortbread recipe. They were so good. I gained 10 pounds. But that's weird for me because before that I could eat anything and not gain a thing. And when I gain weight it all goes to my stomach. I'm doing some sit ups and scrunching my stomach all the time and eating special K. That helps.
Yes she does. She hates it to. But she's good at it. So because she hates it she doesn't clean at home. So I cook she does the dishes. I vacuum and clean the toilet and sink. And we both do the shower.
Thank you for the offer but I just looked at the website and they changed it! Now they say I have to be 19! I can't wait to be 19 I can do so much.

@ SomeonesBtch - I don't think I'll be getting A's. The last A and only A I got was in 5th grade. In French. Which I have forgotten.
But I hope I get b's. I'm going to Business Admin. A few of the classes look hard. Like accounting and taxes. ( I suck at math.)
But some of them look easy. like neg. I'm good at that.

@BugBite - Thanks for that. I'm feeling better about the pain thing. I'm glad I have this kind of relationship with my Mom too. It's nice.


@ foxie77 - Thanks. I had trouble picking what I wanted to do with my life career wise. It took a few years. But I get so excited about opening business. I picked that. Then when I get some profit I want to open non profit homeless shelters, help the people that are just down on their luck.

...this is a tough one. I will try to leave emotion out and include facts. If you are very aroused sexually and exceedingly turned on sex will be MUCH better. Some of this is instinctual and some learned. Foreplay(lots of kissing and touching,etc.) is very important and for most people enhances the experience. Lets just say if it didn't feel good billions of people wouldn't be doing it. I don't know if this is helpful...all the best.