well..I am not even quite sure how to respond to this..

First Off, as Long as You Love the One you are with, and he loves you, it will be OK..there is no rush into sex..sex should never be Painful, and if it is then check ur options...OK, maybe the First time it is a tad painful..Ahem...been so long I cannot quite recall !! but as long as it is not a stressful, or forced situation...taking your time, knowing you can back off...all will be OK !!

Sex is actually Very Pleasurable...I have always had a very high Drive..and I had many more then 1 wild year...ahem...the best Sex has to Offer is when you are With someone you Truly care for, truly Love, Truly TRUST...Trust is Everything...Sex does NOT just happen "Down There'..It happens in the Mind...In your Heart as well..

When you meet your Special someone...Just relax...go slow..it is a very personal private thing... I cannot say I Ever said to my daughter "I Cannot wait for You to have this experience'...to me that is a bit weird..I coulda waited...lol...thank god she was Not ALOT like her Mama !! we taled openly enuff about sex...what her friends would say, she trusted me enuff to come to me to find out what was actually right..thank god for that, cuz some of her friends were way off base !!

I have had FM for quite some time...Sex has never been Painful for me...and IF it were to become painful, I would go in and get checked...specially after the first time, as it is Not uncommon to get a minor infection, just caused from irritation...and use more then 1 type of protection No matter how much you Love & trust ur partner...No Offense guys, but most of em will say just about ANYTHING to get you to say yes !! so Play it SMART !! Safe !! Hold out til the Real Feelings are felt by you both !!

Thank you so much DakotaRose. That really helped.

My Mom speaks her mind about everything because her Mom never talked about sex. It was a very bad thing to do. But at the same time my grandma did it with almost anyone. My Mom doesn't want to have that kind of mother daughter relationship with me.

Thank you again.

Oh Sweetie...you're talking to the girl who waited here. The girl who also thought that when you were going to get a Pap smear at the gyno...they were gonna go in there and build a house.

My first pap, I thought for sure "something" was gonna bust loose. Yah, no, there was nothing. Quick, easy peasy.

Then, I was so nervous when I finally decided my hubby was the "One". We talked it through before hand so he knew what to expect and was very good to me. Sex was so good that we haven't stopped since =D.
Seriously, there was a little "tightness". But it was a good tight sort of sensation.

If I could offer you any advice here sweetie...try not to worry about sex being painful. Sex is more than just the physical joy it creates. It's also about emotion. And it's just the coolest thing in this world.

And there are excercises you can start if you are worried about some muscles not being used so much..so they'd get tender? (think inner thighs and such). Start doing some Yoga stretches...and that will help with those fears.

And last but not least. If you're not liking it when it does "happen"...take control sweetie and hop on top! =)

Trust us hun....once you start, you won't want to stop! But as Dakota shared...be smart about it all. Protection, Protection, Protection!

wow... your mom says some awkward stuff. i didn't have sex till i was 18 and not everyone has to rush into it. that's just crazy. you should tell your mom to stop saying weird stuff like that. i know if my mom said things like that, i would NEVER go and have sex.

anyways... yeah i get pain around that area, but not internally. actually, when i have sex it's more NUMB down there than there is pain. maybe some pain on the skin around it, and then i tell him that i gotta stop.

please don't rush... find a really good man that is patient with you and loving. don';t get into having sex just because your mom said so. that would make it uncomfortable.
and guess what, my younger bro is 26 and he's still a virgin. he told me he's saving himself for marriage. so yeah, there are still some old fashion traditional people out in the world and you may just meet one.

don't worry to much and don't be terrified. just take your time and find the right guy. be honest with him and he should be honest with you.

Thanks for the advice Wonderbaby and bluesun.

My Mom doesn't mean it in a pushy way. She wants me to experience everything. She's excited for me to experience everything but when I want. I'm not going to go out and do it with anyone. I was just worried about the pain.

I don't think it's that weird for her mom to talk to her about it like that. I think her mom is just excited that her daughter is growing up. I grew up in a house where sex was a bad word and using a tampon meant losing your virginity...my mom had sex in 1 position (missionary) with my dad for 22 years because sex to her is dirty. When the time comes, I will tell my daughter that she should experience life....as long as she cares for the person, the person treats her right, and uses protection.

As for the sex...I'm sure you'll be fine. During my first time of course I was tight, but if it's right, you won't be focusing much on that. I was a little sore afterwards, but not too bad. It's definitely worth it though. But I understand...I was really scared too.

You've already gotten some good advice here & plenty to think about. I'd suggest you maintian some closeness with your mother (I have an 18 & a 20 yr old), but you need to go make some friends your own age both male and female. Could it be possible that your mother, however loving & well intentioned she may be is reliving her youth a little through you? Things ARE different now. You can catch stuff out there that cannot be cured by taking 2 Aspirins & calling your Dr in the morning. There are also guys who are great at targeting the vulnerable & inexperienced (not just sexually, but SOCIALLY) girl in a crowd.

It is great that yr mom can talk openly bout sex with you but as a mother, I do not see myself as my daughter's or son's 'pal'. I am 44; not 18. Your 'first' experienced shouldn't be 'rushed'. It is not about 'your virginity' & who you 'give' it to. Better to focus on readiness & the connexion you feel with a specific person. Your raging hormones can mislead you in this regard & physical attraction can easily be mistaken for emotional 'chemistry'. the two are not the same & being around people your age in social settings will help you learn to tell the difference.

Fibro or not, get out of that house! Join a young women's swimming class Take a beginners' pilates class. Volunteer somewhere. Doing something physical will help you build both your confidence & your social skills in a low-pressure setting. You'll meet other girls with similar interests. As a mom, I also know that there's a fine like between mothering & smothering & yours seems perilously close to crossing it. She's become mom, school teacher, best friend & now sexual confidante. It is looking a little problematic (as someone else here expressed). Does mom have much of a life outside of yours? Social stuff? Friends? Classes she takes?

Her indifference to the career you choose & the formal education you obtain is a little troubling too. Your levels of happiness will be influenced by the income you earn, the financial security you enjoy & the job security/health insurance package etc you have. Just read the threads here about having Fibro & financial difficulties to boot. Despite the financial stability I know enjoy, I recall the earlier challenges of always feeling 'pinched' for money. NO, money does NOT buy happiness; esp with fibro pain & fatigue! BUT it DOES buy security and FREEDOM. At least you'll be able to AFFORD to take a nap, see that specialist, or call in sick or not worry about getting fired, not getting a 'med pension'' or being able to pay the rent. Please begin taking your studies seriously & start looking at colleges & a career (as opposed to a 'job').

Your education is something no person can ever take from you. Not even Fibro does that. I know a 23 yr man with 2 college degrees who manages & does all the accounting for his fathter's business. He's also quadraplegic from birth & types using a stylus in his mouth & adapted equipment. Do NOT let Fibro make you feel limited: remember; YOU have Fibro, BUT it does NOT have YOU unless you allow it to.

CielLune hit it right on the head. thanks for your words of wisdom.

but also pain down there depends on the person. for me, i have days where it's not so bad, then there's days i don't wanna be touched.

but either way, her advice is the best. get out of the house and meet other young ladies.

I have had fibro for several years now, but in the last several months, I start having severe vaginal pain. It's very painful for even my panties to rub against my skin. I recently went to my GYN and was told that I had a condition called vulvodynia.

After doing some research, I found out that this is one of the many conditions that can be associated with fibromyalgia. I think it's worth getting checked out.

Peace and Hugs - Chikki

She might be. But I don't have much of a live so there's not much to live through me for. ( if that makes sense). I have a college picked out. And program 6 years of schooling. My Mom isn't my teacher because I haven't done any school work for about 4 or 5 years. I'm stuck in grade 9. I'm saving to take my GED in March. I need $170.
No my Mom doesn't take any classes. She has spend 18 years raiseing me. She went on welfare to be there for me. I think she doesn't know what to do with her self now. Plus she cleans apartment buildings as her job. She's way to tired to do anything after cleaning for 6 hours a day. And she really works. No spot cleaning at all.
We both had friends in Kelowna. We are 6 hours away now. We try to email but they aren't talking to us right now. We think it's because we haven't had the money to pay them back for the money they lent us for a used car. $1500. We try here and there. My best friend here freaked out when I told her about my fibro and my best friend in Kelowna just stopped talking to me.
I just feel like no one will like me because all my friends are gone. and I don't know why. And I think I'm scared to make new ones because I feel they will leave me too.
I babysit. I love the little girl. She's just like me.
I'm not sure about classes. That costs money. But I'll look into it.
Volunteering also costs money. I want to volunteer at the spca but I need $10. I don't have. I know it sounds small. But I just don't have that yet. I'm still trying to get closes. Because one tank top and a sweater and one pair of jeans isn't enough. I don't let my mom pay for them. I want to do it on my own.

what's your size? just getting on line here can make you friends and bring cool things into your life. i've given clothing away to people here on DS that didn't know what to do. i'm not rich and live pay check to pay check on disability (which isn't much), but i'll do anything to help people. maybe you can go online and find some local girls in your area. join a free website and then once y'all talk on the internet, meet up somewhere.

like you, i felt so alone with friends leaving me, so i started my own support group here in Hawaii for vets with fibromyalgia. found that meeting people face to face with the same pain and struggles was really awesome.

i'v e even met up with people from here on DS face to face and had a really good time. just make sure when you search for friends and support, look for ladies your age and not males. there are so many predators on the internet looking for young girls to take advantage of. be aware of them.

best of luck and if you wanna private message me, i'm here. maybe you can tell me what area you live and i can help find online groups for that area, if you want. OR you can find face to face support groups there that you can join free.

Wow! I'm sooo sorry about your financial situation. To be honest, I don't know what that's like.

But I do know what the "friend" thing is like. I'm 28 and I still have a hard time making friends. I was always very shy and very self conscious and my sister was beautiful and fun and popular. She told me almost every day that I was ugly, fat, that I had no friends, and that no one would like me. I still struggle with that...it still hurts.

Don't worry...people will like you. No, not everyone, but that's normal. A lot of people don't like me because I'm a no bullsh*t kind of person and I'm pretty honest...plus I don't think like most people. It's taken me a long time to understand that I actually like myself and I like being who I am. And if someone doesn't want to be my friend because of that, then that's okay. There's people I don't like and I don't want to be friends with. You just have to take the steps to make friends. I KNOW it's scary...but you can do it.

Like someone said earlier...just get out of the house. The more things you find to do, the easier it is to make friends. Even if it's just going to a park and sitting on a bench...get out and do something. It took me a long time to realize that people usually won't just come up to you to be your friend...you have to put yourself in a situation to make friends.

Good Luck!

What city do you live in?

bluesun I would feel really bad taking clothing from you. I know what those checks are like. (small.) Because I have fibro I can't get disability here. Unless I hope and pray and wait 4 years for a maybe.
I'm going to VIU (Vancouver Island University) Next sept. If I can get good marks on my GED in math and english. I'm so excited. I will probably make friends there.

ness I guess I'm lucky I don't have any brothers or sisters.
I can't drive so if I go anywhere my Mom has to drive me. I don't want to drive here. The people are crazy!
Whoa I just realized we don't have parks here. Just school grounds.
RIght now I live in Surrey. BC canada. But soon on the island.
I can't wait! My Mom is going to move with me. It will be easyier on me. I won't have to do so much stuff for my self. Like just waking up and having a shower is hard so with her she can go grocery shopping and I'll just help out when I can. Plus when I was about 10 we ( me my mom and my dad) were going to move to that very city. but it didn't work out. I think it's more then a coincidence that I picked that location out of all of bc without knowing that story.

Just relax your time having sex & take a pain med before it will be great !