Forgot to mention I would have to get off all my meds to have a baby.... that scares me, too.

Many women here had children before being diagnosed, my second pregnancy has a significant factor in bringing on my fibro- doesn't always happen that way, just did for me.

I have 2 sons, aged 36 and 26 and I can truthfully say that my long term fibro has been and continues to be very hard on THEM. I do have difficulty, but it was my kids I feel sorry for. They have lived w/ a sick mom all this time, and my youngest son was put in the role of sometimes having to be the one to take care of me when he was very young. I adore my sons, have always tried my best to be a good mom, but it is very hard on kids to have a chronically ill parent with an incurable disease.

Recently I read that in the US in Canada and in the United Kingdom, the blood banks are legally barred from accepting blood donations from people with fibro. A lot is not yet known about fibro, and some docs are still dismissive, but our Center for Disease Control does not want to take chances with passing on something incurable.

You need to make your own decision, and there are many view points besides mine.

I loved having children as I do grandchildren. The smiles on their faces, their hugs and kisses, the memories are worth everything to me. I am alot older and grandchildren wear me out, but I wouldn't trade it for anything even being painfree.

It's a very personal decision for you and your husband. The best part is husbands help out alot, even getting up with them in the middle of the night to changing diapers .

It's not if you can run and turn somersaults as they grow, it's giving them love and feeling secured.

I wish you the best of luck.

You and your husband really need to really talk this over. Due to the back issues and fibro he will probably be the main caregiver for the child. Is he ready to handle that? It is nice to be with babies and then return them to their mother, but your own can be difficult.

I myself couldn't have children, but I have been blessed with children in my life. I feel that children need to have a special person in there life that is not a parent but that they can trust and come to no matter what. I have 4 such children 3 are grown into wonderful adults and yet I am the first person that they call when they are having problems or need encouragement. So not giving birth and having a child doesn't mean you can't be important in a child's life.

All I am saying is that you can have children that you love in your life even without giving birth.

Thank you.

I honestly had my mind made up years ago that I was going to tie my tubes. And if I end up feeling well enough one day, I would consider adopting if possible.
But my husband is trying to talk me out of tying them. He keeps telling me "our bodies are capable of miracules things and you never if you might heal" yada yada... I told him that he doesn't understand what I have been through or what disturbed sleep does to me. I have had times where I couldn't get out of bed to eat or bathe my self, how could I care for a child like that?

Anyways... I will keep talking it over with him. But they are going to want me to make an appt as soon as possible or I may not be able to get one by the end of March.

Thanks for your input.

Blue, we are here for you to talk to anytime you want. Prayers and hugs going out to you because I know this is a very diffucult decision in your life.

Blue, this is such a personal~individual decision. It's great that you and your hubby are talking about it. I'm just adding my hugs, support, and prayers as you think on these things and choose what's best.

I had my daughter before I got sick. She was only 3 when I was diagnosed. It definitely changes the way that you parent, but she is the joy of my life.

At first I had a ton of guilt., I was not able to be the mom I wanted/planned to be. But she is a wonderfully compassionate, talented 15 yo. She does not feel like her childhood was less than. I just had to be very creative on how I did things.

I hope this helps.

I was 32 when I was diagnosed, and by 36 and a 1000 txs worse I knew I couldn't give my best. Only you know your husband, is he really going to be the main caregiver, is he going to get up in the middle of the night every night if need be, can you work or is he going to also be the main bread winner? Maybe you can start a daily journal writting about your good days and bad days then imagine having to take care of an infant in those moments. If you really have to be around babies, maybe you can volunteer at a daycare or nursery or in the Peds. ward at a hospital and see how you and your body handle certain situations. It really is a very personal decision that both you and your husband must make together. It is NOT the end of the world if you don't have kids and be honest with yourself, it is a huge life long decision. Good luck.

Blue hun, this is ultimately going to be your decision. One that you're husbands wants will weigh heavily on it.

This is my take after having two kiddos.

I had both of my pregnancies prior to my fibro dx. But looking back I definitely had fibro when I was pregnant.
I too had back injuries at that time too.

If I was in a position, where I wanted more kids (I kinda do, but I'm all tied up- so I can't) I would take more.

My kids keep me going. yes, I'm tired, but I would be tried regardless. I don't think I'd be any more or less tired if I didn't have kids.

The joy they bring to me is greater than any pain I endure. My strengths comes from their needs and love. I would do anything for it.

You see, I didn't just have kids 7yrs ago. I became a mom. I became the one thing I never thought I'd become. Many will say a birth is a miracle. And don't get me wrong, it truly is.....but honestly honey, becoming a mom is just as much of a miracle as witnessing a child forming and coming to life with in you.

This is a choice only you can make. And sadly there is a time limit on it regarding your IUD expiration.

But if you do decide to make the choice to try for at least 1 child of your own. Know that it's only a part time job for your body. Meaning, you can go off your meds for a while. You can make it through the pregnancy. And once the pregnancy is done, you can go back on meds as you need to.

When I was pregnant, I felt great. I did however due to my height, had a difficult time making room for the baby, (too short of torso) and add to it my oldest when I carried him as soon as his little legs were developed he would do the gig on my cervix often and I ended up on partial bed rest the last 2 months of my pregnancy.
Besides that, I felt awesome. Better than before and after my pregnancies. And it's my understanding that many people with fibro go through that.

I wish I knew how to explain it scientifically, but many pregnancies kind of correct your ailments as it's the bodies way of protecting the child.

I honestly think that if you are considering becoming a mom at some point hun, you won't regret it one bit. I love that I'm a mom. I honestly think it's who I was truly destined to become. 10yrs ago, I thought I was only destined to become a corporate guru. Funny how life changes you.

I wish you luck with your decision.

Thanks, everyone for all the hugs, support and prayers. It means a lot. I am dreading this decision. It's hard. Thank you for being there for me as I try to weigh it out. xoxo

i am 29 with 5 children under the age of 10 and although it is hard as long as you pace your self its managable, i found that the 2 pregnancies i had with the fm the symptoms disappeared completely it was very hard the 1st few mths with the night feeds i was very tired and the pain was bad cause of it but as baby starts to sleep through i found things started to settle down a bit. it is hard on my children because they dont really understand but i wouldnt change my kids for the world

My mother had fibro. I have it, my brother has it and my sister has it. That has not been mentioned here, but there is apparently at least a propensity to get it if one of your parents had it. Now if a child could avoid any major stresses for their entire life, things would turn out OK, maybe it wouldn't become debilitating, but I have had this all my life. I remember having strange pains as a very young child. I think that any considered decision must take this chance into account. Best of luck with your decision.

BTW. I don't have children and it's fine not to have them. I agree with the other post (sorry can't remember who posted it - talk about fibro-fog) about being able to be a major influence on children in your life, if you wish. Being an Aunt is not all that bad. Good luck to you and your husband.

I HAVE THE SAME FEAR! I'm really "craving" for a baby girl..but this pain I am having and the meds mmmmmmmm....I'm not sure I can handle it.....think about it.....if you think ur body can't handle then adopting is a good idea.

I would like a daughter, too, nono.
I think for mow I will replace the IUD until I can talk to all my doctors about having a baby and their opinions. If it looks like it's not a good idea, then I can always tie the tubes. Adoption will always be there.