Morning Leo, that really sucks about hubby, I hope he feels better soon. In the meantime do your best to pace yourself. And please give us an update on hubby when you can. Hugs

I'm really tired again today, it's the one thing that I hate about sleeping in, I can't fall asleep early but I still have to get up early. Yesterday was productive..I got to walk Miki, paint a landscape for the art show, and I made appointments with the eye doctor and obgyn. I'm very anxious about the gyno appointment but I'm hoping they can figure out why my pms is so bad. And I haven't had an eye exam in like 6 years. Noah is still eating pretty well but still seems nervous, so I can't let Nox out of the bathroom yet

Hi Leo,

Hope your husband feels better soon. Hang in there.

Miki, hope things settle down for you. I feel you on the gyn appointment anxiety. Hope they have answers for you.

My period came last night, and I feel absolutely horrible. The cramps are terrible, I'm bleeding so heavily, and I'm nauseated. I hate this so much. Still I made it to work, where I now get to figure out how to make it until 5 PM, when I can just crash.

The depression is so strong right now. I wish I had a solution that would really help. It feels like an endurance match, or like I'm running a marathon, or driving down a dark tunnel that has no end in sight. My appointment with the pain management doctor is Monday morning, so maybe that will help. I've been having a hell of a time getting my medical records together for it though. I hate starting over. I hate our medical system. I hate how expensive this all is, even though I HAVE insurance.

Okay, rant over. Have a good day, everyone.

Saw my Dr yesterday and the vampires were thirsty had to get 9 blood tests! MOST of the ones that came back so far are good except one i forget what one but it is quite high and can mean either kidney or bone issues but my kidney function is normal. We are retesting in 2 weeks to see if its a fluke high. Never has been before and i get blood tests all the time. My a1c ugh all time high 7.4 and my own damn fault. I am suppose to test 4 to 5 times min a day and take insulin 4 times a day which i been but only since tuesday because my bf found out when he asked how my sugars have been (he used to be an EMT) It worried him so much that i got back to doing what i need too but i had been doing twice sometimes once a day and so not taking my insulin either like i should have. Now im struggling to get my sugars back down but i will in time. Was honest with my Dr about it yesterday she said at least im back to where i need to be on testing and taking insulin we wont worry about the past but shes glad i warned her on my a1c would be high she tested it after i saw her. i am on 50,000 of vit d twice a week and STILL the lowest to not be deficient is 30 im at 32 they want you really at 50 to 60. So not sure what were doing. Other wise really good blood work so far on whats back. My hip i start that cream today once mom picks it up after her lawyer appt so praying it helps. its an Nsaid pain cream. Glad medicaid paid it! My dr said we cant have me almost passing out from pain. My pains so high i been up since o dark 30 and i am skipping therapy and staying home in bed. I hate this :( I needed my therapy today too .

My dr also said that yes while im depressed big time right now i am now able to identify that and i ask for help and do the work to get out of it and dont just hide out and sleep all day like 2 years ago. I push thru it so that really impressed her and she just lit up when i showed her my 6 year AA coin!

Morning Leo. I hope your hubby feels better soon. Try to pace yourself and if everything doesn't get done then it will be there for later. Hugs and prayers.
Miki I try to get to bed the same time every night and get up at the same time. But that said, there are times I oversleep( if that is humanly possible with fibro) and then can't fall asleep at night. I hope you get your schedule back on good footing soon. I am glad your kitty is doing better.
Angela being able to pinpoint that you are depressed and work towards leveling out your moods and thought patterns is huge. You are growing stronger by the day. I bet you enjoyed being able to show your doctor your coin.
I am still having severe stomach cramps and burning. It acts like it is getting better then wham it slams me with severe pain. I am sure it started out as a virous but am not sure that is what is hanging on. I eat about two cups of food a day and even that much is aggravating.
Hi to all that follow and I hope you have a good weekend.

Good morning friends,

Leo, I hope hubby is okay and you get a break. Please let us know how you're doing.

Miki, I usually only sleep in by an hour on the weekend, and I go to bed later so I never have that problem. I hope you get more sleep tonight and that the kitties get more comfortable with each other. I hate that Nox is stuck in the bathroom again like he did something wrong. Good luck.

zk, I hate our medical system too and starting back over in January is so hard trying to pay for everything before insurance will help me. I'm praying for your depression, I know how lonely and hard it can be. Please just remember that you aren't alone and that we fully understand how you feel and what you're going through. Hang in there, God will guide you and fill you with his peace, trust in him. Hugs

Angela, I hope the new NSAID cream helps you, it hurt my stomach too much, go figure. I'm sorry you have to skip therapy when you need to go.

Autumn, Flu flu go away. I hate that you can't eat much at all. I hope you are drinking some of that nutrition. I'm praying you can start eating more this weekend, and that your body will strengthen quickly, you always worry me when you get sick. Hugs

I'm struggling today with pain, depression, anxiety, and stomach. I'm tired and bloated, and I have too much to do at work. My husband is interviewing for a part time job this afternoon after work. He told me on New's Year that he was going to take our girls out of karate and get another job so he can move out. What a great way to start the new year. I always did say we can't afford karate if we separate, I feel sorry for my girls, and I can't help but feel sorry for myself. He has been so terrible to me since I got fibro. I'm hanging onto God's promises and praying for God to work in his heart and to guide me along this very difficult path.

I hope everyone has a good day.

Happy Aloha Friday.

Leo, that sucks about hubby... and for you. Prayers he feels better soon. What did the doctor say?

I slept!
Hubby and I drove an hour down the road to a pretty waterfall and went for a quick swim. The water came right out of the mountain so it was like glacier water, my fingers and toes went white and numb. Plus it was overcast so there was no warm sunshine to heat me up. We had (after I changed into dry clothes) to put the heater on all the way home so the feeling my fingers and toes could return.

After that experience, I think my PCP's curiosity about Reynauld's could be right. It was 75 degrees out and it took a whole hour for the numbness and tingling in my fingers and toes to go away. That can't be normal.

Hubby works on the boat today and tomorrow. But he'll get off in time tomorrow to go to dinner (crosses fingers). And they asked if he could come in Sunday as well, but I told him to take it off because he returns to the college Monday. He argued, but I know he'll thank me later because I know how busy he'll be. It would be nice for him to have one more day off.

Fantod, I hope your brother gets an expert surgeon for his ear. It sounds like a complicated procedure. I will say a prayer for him.

Twins, I'm sorry your tummy is acting up again, ugh. Are you trying the milk of magnesium again? I feel so bad for you. Luckily, mine is actually beginning to recover somewhat. I think the CBD oil might be helping. And I'm sorry about the marital problems, too. I pray for God's answers to come to you. Hugs.

back in a sec.

Good Morning all. Leo I am sorry the vaccine has left hubby so terrible. I hope he gets better soon so that you can relax some.

I am doing a little better emotionally today. My mantras for the day are “just for today” and “God I’m trusting you.” The problem is that I think I’m feeling better due to an increased dose of my lithium but it is wreaking havoc on my stomach and GI tract in general. There has to be a happy medium here. Hubby got paid so that has helped ease some of that anxiety but I’m still very concerned that we are stretched so thin. Just for today I’m going to try to not worry about it. I have enough with Maggie right now and my own well-being.

Miki I’m glad you were able to be so productive yesterday. I hope that Nox can get out of the bathroom soon. I’m sure this is still hard on you both.

Angela I hope that you are able to get some sleep today and then maybe some stretching later this eve? I’m glad to hear your doc appointment went well.

Autumn I really hope that your stomach finishes getting better over the weekend. If not does your doctor have any suggestions? 2 cups of food a day is just not enough.

Twin my heart is breaking for you. To have this happen, for him to give up and leave is just horrible. I was really hoping that he would try to find a way to meet you in the middle of for nothing else at first than for the girls. I really hope that something good comes out of this. I hope maybe you will have more peace without his negativity around at least. I will be praying for you.

Sending hugs and love around. Thinking of Ida and Fantod and Blue especially.

Miki, I hope the gyn appt is helpful and you get some answers. Also that Nox and Noah can be friends. It's been a month since Silver passed away and Hershey still growls / fights with Spike because she misses her buddy. I guess these things take time. And poor Spike just wants someone to play with. I have had to put her outside for the day because she will attack him just for trying to play her.

ZK, we're here for you, ok? I am praying for your depression and new pain management.

Angela, I hope your hip is starting to feel better. Also that your blood sugar can come down. Can your doc prescribe aqua therapy? Maybe that can help bring your sugars down without the impact on your joints. I heard that even if diabetic patients do minor stretching before you eat a meal (5-10 mins of a warm-up), it can prepare your muscles to absorb the sugars, therefore requiring less insulin after they eat.

Autumn, you probably need to ease back into solid foods a little at a time. The virus that upset your tummy probably threw it for a loop and it may need a little time to gently recover. My gut is super sensitive like that, any little thing and it takes a longer time to get back on track again. Take for example the muscle relaxers I took.... a whole 3 weeks later before my gut finally calmed down. Sigh. It's so frustrating isn't it? Meanwhile we're weak from lack of nutrition. I had to put bone broth in my broths when getting through many of my bad gut days in order to survive. You may also want to drink fruit and veggie juices if you haven't already. You're in my thoughts and I hope you are well soon. When you get sick, it really makes you sick I notice. Hugs

Twins, I feel terrible for you. I can't believe your husband is actually leaving. I wasn't sure if his threats were real or if he was just trying to be mean. I really want to grab him and knock him upside the head! I pray for God's angels to surround you, guide you and give you strength.

Maynard, that sucks that the lithium is messing up your gut. But I'm not surprised.... whenever I find something helpful in other areas, it's usually h*ll on my gut. I wish this weren't the case with us fibro warriors, ugh.

Twins don't worry so much about me. You have so much to worry about already. My heart breaks for you and I am praying that Gods will be done. I know he doesn't want you to stay in a marriage where you are being treated so badly. I pray you can find some kind of peace in this journey and know that God already knows how things will work out for you to be happy again. Hugs and much love.
Blue it is not normal for it to take an hour for you to get feeling back in your hands and feet. I hope the doctor can figure it out. I agree with you on the stomach issue. I am drinking chicken broth and v8 juice and grape juice. I can't do anything with milk in it. I am eating rice, bananas, applesauce and toast. I am drinking a lot but seem to be dehydrated no matter how much I drink. Yes it seems that the older I get the harder these viruses hit me.

Maynard it really sucks that your stomach isn't handling the med. It always seems that if the med takes care of one problem it causes several others. I am always amazed at commercials that give a long list of side effects a med causes. I wonder how the hell it even got put on the market in the first place. I hope you feel better soon.

Blue you slept! Sleep is a rare accomplishment so we should party when one of us gets some. Sleep, that is.

Leo, my friend got the flu because he didn't get the shot. Of course, we don't know that for sure since it's a crapshoot whether the shot is effective against what's really going around.

I don't want the flu or shingles but can't take vaccines because my immune system is overactive.

Twin, I was hoping against hope that your hubby was treating you better since the last time I was on here. I'm so sorry that the jerk hasn't changed. You need less stress and separating from him might be the answer, even if no karate right now. What have you got to lose, except the same old abuse? He isn't going to change. What you write now you wrote in 2017, and 2016. I'm not telling you what to do; I'm not in your situation and don't know the ins and outs. I'm just saying what it looks like from the outside. Surely there is a local bar association that can point you toward legal help that won't break the bank. Love to you.

2018 was a giant cluster for my job. i survived and i'm back to working every week. It's pressure but better than the alternatives.

I just can't clean up my house, not even enough to let a cleaner in! Or an exterminator. i can do computer work. In Dec. 2017 I hired an organizer and cleaner to make my house look nice for an appraisal. That worked out well and I got a great appraisal and re-finance. But I haven't had the house cleaned since then. I lost control in May when I took an extra temp job. Now it's back to my default, which is clutter, things on every surface and counter!

I was promised a puppy but it looks like the breeder is impossible to communicate with, so how can I enter into a business arrangement with a co-owner/handler if he won't communicate about arrangements for shows, etc., or even which dog i'm going to get and when?! The last thing i need is a business partner who causes me more stress. And puppies aren't easy to train when you can't bend down. It was my reason for 2019, but looks like it might be a disappointment if not a serious mistake.

That's everything, except my PHOBIA is already kicking in. On Wed. jan. 9, I'm interviewing yet another PCP in an effort to ditch my "concierge" doctor whom I cannot afford and who insults me while he treats me. This will be the 4th doctor I've tried in a year and half. All of them have been worse than what i have. So I have a phobia of doctors, and can't get a positive attitude about seeing yet another one, Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I HATE DOCTORS.

Why can't they say, I don't know, when they don't know something? They have to give an answer, even if it is opposite of what the current knowledge says is good for their patients. What happened to do no harm?

When lawyers are asked a question about a law and they don't know, THEY LOOK IT UP.

These doctors i see don't want to take 2 minutes to read about my condition. They don't want to be bothered. They just want to have an assembly line of patients to bill the insurance companies, including Medicare.

END OF RANT

Blue, thank you very much. I don't know what to think anymore, did he say it in anger and to hurt me, which he admits he says things on purpose to hurt me, (why) or is it a done deal in his mind. I just wish he wouldn't drag it out if he is going. I believe he is going to leave as soon as he has enough money. I'm too much of a christian for him and he lives for himself. I'm trying so hard to be okay. It's very sad how much he has changed. I hope you go out to eat tomorrow, and not Italian right? My hands and feet do the same thing, which is why I can't even handle swimming anymore.

Maynard, he refuses marriage counseling because we can't afford it, but let's get a part-time job to move out and desert your family. That makes sense. Thanks for your support. The prayers mean the world to me. God moves in big ways and will continue to do so in his own timing. I'm glad your emotions are better today, I pray they get even better for the weekend though. Sorry the lithium is causing gut pain, I'm not surprised like Blue said.

Thanks Autumn and Wolf. I believe God will get me through all things, it's just sometimes it doesn't make it any easier when you're in the middle of feeling so helpless and unloved by your own husband. It literally breaks my heart to where I can't breathe or think straight. But I will make it through with Christ's strength, definitely not my own. Hugs all around.

Around and reading. I had an appointment this morning so I was up and out sort of early again. That was the last straw. I came home, did some basic chores and then went to bed. My partner is still home sick too. This virus makes us feel OK for a while and then all sweaty and horrible.

Twin - I am truly sorry that your marriage is ending. Having been through it myself, I can say that it is a tough change. But, once I got through the initial shock, it became clear that I was. better off. Get an attorney; don't agree to anything without someone representing your interests. you have a unique situation with an autistic child and being chronically ill yourself. Ask your church for help finding someone if you don't know where to start. Honestly, I think getting that negative energy out of the house is going to help you and the girls. You are not alone. It will be OK.

I am just going to wave at everyone else. I hope that everyone has a decent evening. Shout out to Bear and JP.