Fibromyalgia Support Group
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I know I posted a little about this in the morning check in thread, but I'm pretty frustrated....
I'm going to give you a little background on the situation.
We moved into a house-share situation (to Maui from Oahu) less than a month ago. I only agreed to it because the landlord (who currently lives in the master room) said it was temporary till he figures out the cottage in the back which he will later move into. In the mean time we are stuck as house mates.
The man is in his 60's, divorced, children are all grown. He tends to get lectury about every little thing: what I feed my cats, recycling, guns, how much my cats should play out side, etc.
Yesterday I was having some stomach issues, bad cramps, etc, and ended up missing lunch. I finally got around to trying a little fruit cup and he caught me curled up on the couch trying to eat it, and began his intrusive lecture about sugars and how they cause 90% of diseases.
It wasn't just a lecture but an interrogation. He wanted to know my exact symptoms and how did I know THAT's what what was "wrong" with me (couldn't even pronounce fibromyalgia, btw), proceeded to grab the box my fruit cups came from and read to me just HOW MUCH sugars I was consuming. And let me know how that was poisoning my body.
I told the man sugars did NOT cause this illness and told the man off. But if that wasn't enough for him, during our dinner party later (we had surprise guests come over from Oahu) he would pause the conversation at the table about every few minutes to ask me how my stomach was doing. It was so embarrassing. And if THAT wasn't enough, this morning when I got up (hubby was still sleeping) he asked how I was feeling, I told him, "Sore all over... it must have been the rain last night..." (there was a heavy down pour at dinner). He responded by pointing to the window and said, "You want me to look outside and check if it actually rained last night? We can look right now!" He peaked out, "See it's dry..." (ignoring the mud puddles)," it must be stress. Maybe if you weren't so stressed out all the time, you would feel better!" Then walked off back into his room.
Clearly he didn't get the message yesterday and I really need to sit this guy down and tell him off again. Because seriously, I can't live with a dude like this.
I've been on DS since 2008 and yuo all know me pretty well.... and know I don't have an unhealthy diet. And more than anything, we all know we didn't do "this" to ourselves. And even more than that, it's none of his or anyone else's business to tell me what he thinks I should or should not be eating. Even worse, what weather patterns do or not do affect my pain!! This guy knows nothing about FM!
How do the rest of you folks deal with this kind of problem?
I know I posted a little about this in the morning check in thread, but I'm pretty frustrated....
I'm going to give you a little background on the situation.
We moved into a house-share situation (to Maui from Oahu) less than a month ago. I only agreed to it because the landlord (who currently lives in the master room) said it was temporary till he figures out the cottage in the back which he will later move into. In the mean time we are stuck as house mates.
The man is in his 60's, divorced, children are all grown. He tends to get lectury about every little thing: what I feed my cats, recycling, guns, how much my cats should play out side, etc.
Yesterday I was having some stomach issues, bad cramps, etc, and ended up missing lunch. I finally got around to trying a little fruit cup and he caught me curled up on the couch trying to eat it, and began his intrusive lecture about sugars and how they cause 90% of diseases.
It wasn't just a lecture but an interrogation. He wanted to know my exact symptoms and how did I know THAT's what what was "wrong" with me (couldn't even pronounce fibromyalgia, btw), proceeded to grab the box my fruit cups came from and read to me just HOW MUCH sugars I was consuming. And let me know how that was poisoning my body.
I told the man sugars did NOT cause this illness and told the man off. But if that wasn't enough for him, during our dinner party later (we had surprise guests come over from Oahu) he would pause the conversation at the table about every few minutes to ask me how my stomach was doing. It was so embarrassing. And if THAT wasn't enough, this morning when I got up (hubby was still sleeping) he asked how I was feeling, I told him, "Sore all over... it must have been the rain last night..." (there was a heavy down pour at dinner). He responded by pointing to the window and said, "You want me to look outside and check if it actually rained last night? We can look right now!" He peaked out, "See it's dry..." (ignoring the mud puddles)," it must be stress. Maybe if you weren't so stressed out all the time, you would feel better!" Then walked off back into his room.
Clearly he didn't get the message yesterday and I really need to sit this guy down and tell him off again. Because seriously, I can't live with a dude like this.
I've been on DS since 2008 and yuo all know me pretty well.... and know I don't have an unhealthy diet. And more than anything, we all know we didn't do "this" to ourselves. And even more than that, it's none of his or anyone else's business to tell me what he thinks I should or should not be eating. Even worse, what weather patterns do or not do affect my pain!! This guy knows nothing about FM!
How do the rest of you folks deal with this kind of problem?
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My 5 year old came forward on March 5th That another child in his class was reaching into his pants under his underwear and touching his penis each time he was in this class. The offending child and him sat alone at the table, clearly out of sight. He was trapped because he was afraid of disrupting class and afraid of the other kids, laughing if they knew what happened. The disturbed child...
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I was in an abusive relationship for 17 years it's the only relationship I've ever even been in so what I thought of as love im now finding out wasn't love at all and that sucks my dad says things like I just need to let it go and it's insulting frankly. I let it go for 17 years just because I'm no longer being abused doesn't mean the pain and anger are gone. I refuse to let it go when I was...
Don't let him upset you, love **
But this its easy for me to give advice from the other side of the country. Had it been me, he'd have been wearing that fruit cup. :)
JoyH, thanks for reading the post. You are absolutely right. Eating healthy helps us feel better but not a "cure". Just wish we could slap some of this common sense into his brain.
Puppymom, yes I totally agree! In fact I told my husband, who will be gone for a month in July leaving me alone with the weirdo, that that's exactly what I fear will happen. That there will be nothing but arguments while he's away and he'll take the opportunity to terminate our lease with the excuse that I'm too disabled to care for the property, etc. So I started looking at other rentals just in case.
My husband doesn't want me here alone now. And I'm trying to work it out where people come to visit me or check on me (hopefully daily) while he's away. I'm really not happy he chose to go on this trip OR for that long.
Keep looking for other rentals. That sounds like your best bet to me. So sorry you have this added stress.
BUT I wish if he absolutely had to make the trip to visit his family, why tack on the sign language class in addition? He could just cancel that for another time and only spend 2 weeks seeing family then come home.... vs. being gone a whole month. A whole month is a lot of time to leave me alone in a new place with a stranger... especially an overlording one, too, who could just kick me out if he felt like it. I'm not very comfortable with this arrangement!
My husband keeps telling me that I have control of the situation and all I have to do is avoid the man (hide in my room). But really, the landlord has all the power, he owns the place. And plus, why would I just want to hide in my room when we're paying rent to have access to everything but the master room (till he moves out)?
UGGHHHHHHH
He had to pay a whopping fee to change his flight itinerary (almost $400!!), but it is what it is. He was quite mad at me, but I told him, "Do you really think this is MY fault? I mean are you really ok with leaving your wife in a new place with a weird stranger for a whole month??" He said, "Yeah, you're right. That's not cool."
But I did talk to the lady at church (the one a little older than me) who is married to a cop. She offered before, if I ever needed company while hubby was away to let her know since she's had to deal with being alone many nights. She said she can't keep me company the entire 3 weeks. lol. I told her I will look to see who else I can scrounge up.
Ida, I don't like hiding in the bedroom. I usually keep the cats out of my room because I actually have a mild cat allergy and it helps my breathing at night. So the more I keep them out the better and they tend to cry and scratch at the door when I hide in there without them. lol. Anyway, there's no tv in there, but yes I have wifi.
I appreciate everyone caring so much. I am concerned too. I am glad I have all of you. Any chance any of you will be here in Maui for the month of July? ;) Now I'm thinking we should have settled for the other rental way up in the mountain, the tiny little cottage with the sheep! (facepalm)
Sure wish I could come and be with you. Hawaii is on my bucket list, but hubby and I are not able to afford it yet.
I'm glad you have a new friend to check in on you. And a cop's wife. That is even better.