I came to realize a long time ago that there are always new dreams and new goals and new ambitions to be had, formed, found. And while it's nice that other people can do XYZ? Well, who knows what I can do that they can't? Maybe it's cook a good batch of brownies, or thef act I did well in school, or whatever.... and on bad days I just tel myself to thank God for the unanswered prayers, too. Mostly, I get through. ot easily, but I get through!

I don't compare anymore. I have found that whatever I think I know about someone else's life is about as much as they really know about mine.

Everybody has "something" no matter how good their lives look to us, or how much better we think they have things.

As for ambitions, all I want at this state of my life is to be happy and secure. I have both of those things. I do have places I want to go, and things I want to see and do, and I am working slowly toward making those happen, even though not in the ways I originally imagined. Example: When I thought about going to Europe, I always imagined it would be a very active experience, with a lot of walking and sightseeing. Now I spend a few hours walking and I'm on a cane for weeks. So, my European trip will be a cruise, with limited sightseeing that will most be done from a bus or other tour vehicle, but I WILL go, and I WILL see, just not as much and not in the way I imagined.

I compare myself to my crazy aunt. She says she is bedridden because she is on O2. She is also crazy as a bedbug!

I'm pretty good compared to her!

Oh but the ambition. No one else had brought up this subject here...at least lately.

I was a corp ladder climber...and had done pretty good for myself and family, traveled the southern and western US. Met nice people saw beautiful countryside, made good money. My dream job as a nurse consultant for JCAHO. Loved it!

Pretty much your type A personality.

I'm slowly adjusting to my new life. I used to think of it as existence, not living but I'm alive just functioning at a different level.

I still have ambition but no longer the corp climber.

I now want to feel good enough to enjoy my grandkids growing up, don't want to miss out on that. I want to make my quilts, laugh with my friends, enjoy what I had worked so hard for, a nice house and just my stuff.

I guess what my ramblings mean for you is that the old ambitions will lurk there for a while but as you adjust or as many say on the posts here (acceptance of our condition) you can move on to new ambitions.

I hope this helps you. It helps me to write and ramble thru my thoughts.

My ambitions are pretty well shot. If I can get up and move around halfway decent and be there for my family I guess I can't ask for much more. Wish I were more financially secure. Hubby didn't have much work the last few years and his retirement took a hit so guess he will have to work until he can't anymore. Sucks but it is what it is. What we are are survivors so one way or another we will make it. Can't have it all so just gotta be happy with what we got.

I used to think this way, too. I know that I have to be very careful or I suffer.

You get to the point where you just don't want to suffer and you know your limitations.

Thanks for sharing this. Like others, my ambitions have been tailored to my ability. I also like to think of what ive gained...like patience,time to take care of me, and the things ive learned along the way. Hugs

Thank you all for your thoughts.Sometimes I miss being an RN although I was bored doing the same ole thing day after day. I let my license expire this month....Nursing was never my big love anyway. Literature is, art is..languages....

It's just that my day (10am to 3pm) seems to be over before it begins and it is hard to get to the ambitions i still have :ie writing. I guess I have to find a way to eliminate the unnecessary.

All my life there have been zillions of people better at.....whatever... Or with more.... Whatever...... That early on I learned to compare myself to myself. Am I doing better than I was?

Thank you Emily710. That's a good point. I don't know why I feel competitive with others....it's a form of jealousy...Buddhism would term it desire. Better to retreat from always wanting something.

Good thoughts.

I don't bother comparing myself to others anymore. I don't find it productive. I'd rather work within the limits of my "box" and be satisfied with that. No point in making myself nuts over something that can not be changed. I've reinvented myself to accommodate my new life and I am perfectly happy with that. Take care.

I feel compelled to pipe in here, as a long term student of Buddhism, I am well aware of 'grasping'/attachment.
Comparing yourself to others is a mixed blessing, I believe.

I'm just coming out of a period of acceptance. Actually, I don't think there's anything wrong with being attached to the desire for better health. I'm not willing to lie here anymore and say this is it. If so- and-so next door has discovered she actually has mercury poisoning rather than "Fibro', I want to know. I want to know why she is getting better and I'm not.
There are levels and types of acceptance. It seems like it could be a slippery slope to doing nothing more to help yourself.

Before antibiotics people had to accept that they would die of pneumonia at age 20. We know so little.

What I know today is that it's not ok for me to spend the rest of my life feeling this badly and I am damn well attached to having improved health.

I am fortunate in this area. I have never compared myself to others.

I had a vey hard childhood and learned at a very young age that everyone has their own demons that are hidden from the world. My demons are like flowers and sunshine to someone else's demons.

My suggestion is to find peace within yourself. Find beauty in little things. Find 100 reasons to smile every day.

The grass always seems greener on the other side is an old cliche' but it really is true that you can't judge a person's life or happiness by their outward appearance.