I have always been someone that tends to keep to myself. I don't tend to like people that much when I come in contact with them. But I became a massage therapist and now I see people everyday and have formed some friendships and have opened up more over the years but I am still a homebody and prefer to be left alone. So yeah we retreat and with good reason lots of people expect stuff from us and we have a hard time saying no so it stresses us out and then we have problems and then we have pain.

sandyclause

what's been happening is i'll get frustrated with just ONE person, and then i won't talk to ANYONE. I'll shut down completely from all people. the shut down can happen for quite a while and then my friendships start to die off again.
it's not that i need to be around multiple people or a group setting, but once i'm trying to come out of that "shut down mode" and actually try to spend time with even one friend it will be like pulling teeth. almost as if they are mad at me for the time i didn't talk to them or all the times i didn't come to their invitations.

my counselor said i should stop "black labeling" people when one person does something wrong. i should still give everyone else chances. and i should learn to communicate with other people better when i AM in pain.

but i think it's like you all were saying, it's just sensory over load / stress over load and i just want to pull back from everything.
too bad everyone else in the world can't understand this and be patient with me. or maybe i should be patient with them...? i don't know which way it goes.
point is i want a real cave to hide in.

ps. don't worry i wont sever communication with you all here ;)
but sometimes i even stay off ds for a while. no worries i come right back. you guys are like a drug!

Some days I dream of a deserted island..... because I get burnt out from people thinking that fibro is easy to deal with.

When I get in a bad slump, I do tend to be a homebody a lot...but then I force myself to take a walk or take a ride out to the countryside. Person to person interaction is good for the mind and soul....we just have to find the right people to interact with, who won't bring us down.

HUGS

I found this a good topic so resurrected it ,lol! I too retreat to my cave when stressed and or in pain, etc. But try to push myself to at least go to the lobby for mail or a short walk or shopping expedition as can always find a bargain food or whatever to buy!

I feel the same way you do. I spend atleast 90 percent of the time in my home. If I could stay in here forever..it wouldnt hurt my feelings..but I have to think of the life that fibro has taken from me and now what it is taking from them.

I cant make plans in advance. I simply wont know how I will feel..so it makes being social very hard. I also suffer with great anxiety which helps none at all. At times I just have to put one foot in front of the other no matter how badly it hurts and just get out and complete something I set up to do. The beauty of it is that I have met someone here from DS who belongs to the depression as well as the RA group. She lives the same as me and we have an understanding of one anothers pain. We also dont take it personally if one of us cancels out. I truly lucked out there.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE SPEAKING OF.
I used to be a s.ocial butterfly; now my husband has a hard time getting me out for dinner. He's always been a homebody so he enjoys having me all to himself even if I am in excruciating pain all the time.
Fibro causes stress, panic attacks; etc so it makes it difficult to socialize
Sending warm thoughts your way
smiles

If only ones family can understand "FIBRO".
If you can't seem to socialize much,it would be nice to be around someone who understands why...I feel a family member should try to understand,just as they want us to .
That is where it hurts me the most,especially grow kids who ignore me.
One thing for sure...it is nice to know others can relate from our group,and that we are not alone.

"bluesun" U just put into words exactly how I feel. It's how Fibro has defined me now. I retreat into my shell like a turtle. I'm easily overwhelmed. I do not deal well with stress. I gotta block it out.

I get overstimulated and I feel like someone just poured gallons of water on my brain and took a blender to it. How exhausting...

I think it is part of FM. I am a social person, used to love adventure and love to go out and socialize...now I too do the cave thing. I need my social time now and again but hate talking on the phone sometimes cause I can't focus on the conversation...usual to tired or just distracted by pain.
Constant exhaustion and pain makes you not want to do anything, it also makes a person depressed. I have to force myself to do something every day even if it is around the house.
My new goal get my butt out of the house everyday, that will be a tougher one. Cause some days it hurts way to much to even move.
Part of my "cave dwelling" was because of the tremors and twitches I had due to pinched nerves. Lyrica is helping with that. Although, it took me awhile to adjust to the Lyrica so it caused me to sit in my bed veg all day.
Cheer up, you are not alone....but fight to overcome it....there are some great books on FM and how to deal with it...normally have to order them as the bookstores are either sold out or don't have them regularly in stock.

I am from a big family...never had a bedroom/bathroom etc to myself..so to some extent I wouldn't know how to be all alone. That said, I hate when I feel social guilt because I do not constantly go and participate in every social fuunction within 30 miles.My husband and kids are usually pretty good at not making me feel worse and I have one friend that has been my friend for over 30 years and she also has fibro....she and I have spent many a weekend in our PJ's on my couch watching movies and taking it easy while all of our families bounce from one social thing to another without us. I only want to be around people who know and accept me for who I am....I find it exhausting to be around people that I think would not understand and may think bad of me if they knew how often I feel miserable...that only adds more stress and in term worsens our conditions. Bottom line, guilt is exhausting and there is no need to add more of that to our lives...if you are not a social person or just are not up to it...then don't...take it easy and take care of yourselves. I look at it as just part of coping/dealing with what we have and we doing whatever it takes to make it through another day. :-)

After re-readin my preious post and seeing all of the wding errors it is clear that my brain fog is pretty thick...only get 3 hours of sleep last night isn't helping either...haha So excuse the grammatical errors. lol

you all sound like me too! or I sound like you! I used to LOVE going out.. dancing, dinner, playing cards with friends, having drinks, traveling, having dinner parties, etc etc etc.. loved it! Now, I just cant do it anymore and it really makes me sad.. My friends have pulled away, as Im not the "same" anymore. they never call us to go out, play cards, etc.. Because usually we say no.. Like some of you said, if it wasnt for my husband, I probably wouldnt go anywhere but to work. On the weekend if we have a function to go to he will remind me to take a nap, or take it easy so Ill be more comfortable later. (love him) right now, i work, come home and lay on the couch or sometimes I just go to bed. Yesterday I managed to do 2 loads of laundry and fold them!! that is huge for me!! Since the spring, my energy level has been null and void! My computer holds a great source of comfort as this seems to be how I am interacting these days....

I was an account executive and had a BIG life when it came to people. I love being around lots and lots of people. They are stimulating to me. I also have a good sense of humor and love to yuck it up with the gang. But alas, like all of you, there is no more gang. I have two friends. Luckily, I just met a new lady in my building who is disabled, too. Different set of problems, but we have lots in common. She's very friendly and I like her. Hoping we can be jailbirds together.

Truly, I have been quite sad this year. Trying to get used to being divorced and also empty nest syndrome. Plus, I just generally have been sicker than ever since Christmas last year. So add it all up and it's been hard. Do NOT know what I would do without DS!!! You people make me feel like I have a "raison d'etre" or for those who didn't take French, a "Reason to Be". Thanks!

Mizroze