Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
My wife suffers from FM. The season is changing and it's starting to get wetter and colder ... both are triggering flares in her FM. In addition, we have been having problems with our children (illnesses, bad grades, unemployment, emergency appendectomy, teenage girl drama, etc.) ... and the stress on her is making her pain worse.
The stress and change of weather has made her depressed. She is "difficult" to live with right now. I do my best to be understanding, compassionate, and supportive. I massage her feet, legs, hips, back, arms, and hands as often as I can. But it is starting to wear on me ... her ability to help with the kids is hampered by her increased pain right now. I am experiencing the same stresses she is (kids, change in the weather plus I work full time in a stressful job) but I don't have to deal with FM. I'm getting frustrated and becoming depressed myself. I'm not quite at the end of my rope yet, but feel like I'm getting there.
We recently took a short vacation where we were able to unwind ... without our children. Soaking in natural hot springs, sleeping in a bit, got a massage together and she had a pedicure. It was a pretty nice little vacation for 3 days. However, we likely won't be able to get out for another extended break from the kids until at least Thanksgiving (and maybe not even then). Any suggestions?
The stress and change of weather has made her depressed. She is "difficult" to live with right now. I do my best to be understanding, compassionate, and supportive. I massage her feet, legs, hips, back, arms, and hands as often as I can. But it is starting to wear on me ... her ability to help with the kids is hampered by her increased pain right now. I am experiencing the same stresses she is (kids, change in the weather plus I work full time in a stressful job) but I don't have to deal with FM. I'm getting frustrated and becoming depressed myself. I'm not quite at the end of my rope yet, but feel like I'm getting there.
We recently took a short vacation where we were able to unwind ... without our children. Soaking in natural hot springs, sleeping in a bit, got a massage together and she had a pedicure. It was a pretty nice little vacation for 3 days. However, we likely won't be able to get out for another extended break from the kids until at least Thanksgiving (and maybe not even then). Any suggestions?
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Wellw e're two days into the new season (autumn in the Northern, spring in the Southern). And finally, it feels like it might stay! No, wait, 80s F again. Ugh. Oh well.***In 1869, Wall Street did one of its first spectacular crashes, after the ever-unscrupulous and a-holish Jay Gould and James Fisk decided to corner gold. Since we were not yet back on the gold standard after our little unCivil...
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Well, it's raining here, yay! Back home, it's so floody that even my family said, "Um, no," and decided to stay home till the bridge is cleared. ***It's a record-slow year so far for hurricanes in the Atlantic, or near-record, but there's a cooling event in the Atlantic... and a cat5 Pacific Hurricane off the SW coast of Mexico. El Nino, La Nina, whatever you call it, dont' get caught in...
I know how much stress affects my FM and i know that i am sometimes difficult to live with too. I feel for you and your wife.
I have doctor's orders to spend 20-30 minutes all to myself every day. I 'have to' do something that i enjoy uninterrupted, just so i can forget everything else and unwind. it's like a 30-minute vacation every day.
if your wife has any hobbies, suggest that she spend some quality time enjoying something she loves to do. it can be puzzles (like me) or playing with a pet, or watching reruns of a show, or sitting on the porch with cider enjoying the last bit of nice weather. the trick is to avoid interruptions or sneaking in a chore (like cleaning veggies on the porch or folding clothes while watching the TV show. do you talk to her during the massages? other than sweet nothings, talking about family issues takes away some of the therapeutic effect. I know from experience - my masseuse is my friend and sometimes we chat too much...
anyway, it took just a few days for me to let go of some of the stress, and i really started noticing the difference. My kids are 10 and they totally understand my 'me time'.
Again, kudos to you for reaching out here and wanting to find something that helps your wife and your family. I wish you all better days ahead!
Breaks are great, financially they aren't always easy. I would suggest taking one night a week for just you and her together time - if it's possible. Go out on a date, or have an in home date. Watch a movie, eat some popcorn, talk about your problems, prop each other up. Fibro is hard to deal with, but not only for the person experiencing it. Sometimes we forget that, it's good to be reminded. Date night is a good way to remind us, AND gives us something to look forward to all week.
In fact, triple those brownie points. She is so lucky to have you. I am always thankful I have such a positive and understanding husband.
Wish you the best!
It is very important that you carve out a little time for yourself here and there. Do something that you enjoy to decrease your own stress level, And, don't feel guilty about it, You'll be more effective as a caregiver, husband and father if you do.
I'd also like to suggest that you purchase a book called "Fibromyalgia for Dummies." Like all of the dummies series, it contains good information. Both of you should read it. Iy may give you some additional insight on how to better manage this nasty syndrome. Knowledge is power.
Good luck and take care.