Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
It's been raining all night and morning here.
Hubby and I have been in an ongoing argument since yesterday about pain. He claims that all pain is just pain and compared fibro to body building.... and body building hurts, asked, if they can "get used to it" why can't you? Boy, you should see the steam coming out of my ears. I told him body builders hurt the day after their workout, but the pain is gone after that. Our fibro pain never goes away. Plus they don't have to manage like 10,000 symptoms with 100 specialists like the way we fibro warriors have to! Do body builders end up suicidal?? No, they do not. If they did, it wouldn't be such a popular sport!! DUHHHH
So then he went on to argue about people with bad knees and amputees and more, that if they can handle it, why can't *I* (notice the accusation here is that I can't handle it). Once again I told him, they don't have to manage hundreds of symptoms, or chronic fatigue, or juggle the many specialists. Do you know anyone with a bum knee who is suicidal?? Nope. Because they have ONE specialist for their condition... plus they get a knee replacement and whallah they are walking again, their whole body isn't affected. Neither are their organs, they don't have migraines too, or IBS, or skin pain, hair pain, eye pain, fingers hurt, feet hurt, hips, muscle pain, brain fog, sjogrens (and countless other overlapping diseases). I can't believe we are even having this discussion.
Further more.... the proof of my daily productivity (eg, returning to school, horse therapy, living out here in the jungle boonies which is so much work, etc., etc., etc.) should be a witness that I've never let fibro get me down! Every day I look forward to the next day. So WTH, dude. This argument shouldn't even be happening. This shouldn't even be a topic! I hate how we fibro people constanty have to prove ourselves "good enough" especially to our closest ones.
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Another day, another ouchie?My bruised achilles tendon (don't ask) makes my foot numb. Wonky on meds, whacked it.Now, as to fibro:A lot of reports are going around some parts of social media that fibro (and dang near anything else) are caused by post-Covid, post-flu, post-vaccinations, post-pick-something.1. Your risk of death or serious complications beyond "ow, that shot hurt!" are typically...
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
Refer your oh-so-wise spouse to th e difference between "EXERTION" and "PAIN". Sore muscles from exertion get better in an hour or two. (Or should.) PAIN as my physio doc defines it is an acronym:
Persistent
Agonizing
Inhibiting (your life)
Neurological
It's not some "oh take two and call me tomorrow" phenomenon. PAIN is not "pain" as in "headache" or so on... I've had a bad knee since I was 13 (broken kneecap) and that's just a knee, I can work around that. I can't work around all 206 bones and umpteen muscle s and nerves and so forth.
Also, I'm sorry, but his ignorance about the pain of amputees makes me see red. Amputees feel pain in body parts they don't have, and often get hard drugs, btw, like pain patches we fibro folks aren't offered --- and amputees will feel agony in their amputation sites even with modern medicine.
I want to so teach your hubby the meaning of PAIN. Ask him how he can "get over" having his man parts in a carpenter's clamp for a week.
Basically, if truth be known, my brainn is saying: Blue's hubby said all that to win some sort of points as if marriage is a game you win, and he must win it, by being more right/etc. But you can't "win" relationships. Lose them, yes. "Win", no. And if he thinks you've "wimped out", then I invite him to try all you do for a week with that clamp on his man bits. Long-term pain erodes our overall health, we get fatigue, we get imbalances all over our bodies because of the stress and poor rest.
Sorry, I"m furious, it's not my fight so to speak, but ugh... He should be b amazed you do so much and .... IMHO. Our loved ones should all be proud of us for not giving up. That's the easy way.
And you have every right to feel upset about his statement. He is downplaying fibro to people who make a living off of working out at the gym. These people live in the gym, where we fibro warriors only DREAM of being physically active again.
His last stance before walking out the door to work was:
"You haven't been in their shoes (re. amputees, body builders, and bum knees) so how can you compare fibro to their pain?" As if *I* -the one with daily agonizing debilitating pain (the one on SSDI) - am the one with no argument. Wow.... just wow. (head desk!).
Hugs of support.
One way I describe our pain with fibro is that it is like having a permanent spring loaded clothespin clamped to each of our fingers & thumbs.
Even though I am a male I also agree with Leo that a clamp on his man parts would be just as effective only I would make it permanent fix so he then might finally get a good idea of the pain that we have to suffer.
Hope that's not TMI, ladies but his comments have upset me so much that I am calling "a spade a spade" here.
Angela, go right ahead and strangle.
I went to the ER again this weekend, I am
having terrible pain in upper left hand side of my body. The doctor told me it was an RA flare. I told him it was not, it didn’t feel like it, it was not hot, swollen and red. He said he would take a blood test (I asked him if it was CRP and he was shocked.) turns out it was not An RA flare at all. But the X-rays of my neck showed a terrible mess of osteoarthritis. Plus, some fibromyalgia pain was going on. My massage therapist said the whiplash from my car accident in Feb was triggered. Pretty sure I can now just say “chronic pain!”
When I was on good RA meds, about 8 years ago, I was lifting heavy weights. I had to switch meds, and over the months, despite never missing a work out, I had to cut back in my weights. That was the beginning of fibromyalgia. I’d like to see those weight lifters lift the same weights if they got fibromyalgia -they couldn’t!! Tell your husband that!
There are different types of pain:
*acute pain starts suddenly and is short-term
*chronic pain lasts for a longer period of time
*breakthrough pain often happens in between regular, scheduled painkillers
*bone pain happens when cancer is affecting a bone
*soft tissue pain happens when organs, muscles or tissues are damaged or inflamed
*nerve pain happens when a nerve is damaged
*referred pain is when pain from one part of your body is felt in another
*phantom pain is when there is pain in a part of the body that has been removed
*total pain includes the emotional, social and spiritual factors that affect a person’s pain experience.
https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/side-effects-and-symptoms/pain/different-types-pain-describe.html
Chronic pain is exhausting emotionally and physically. As time goes on, it becomes progressively harder to keep up with anything. And that is not including the complex health histories that we all have with multiple underlying problems.
None of us volunteered for any of this. How is it your fault in his mind? This continuing lack of care for your general well being is very concerning. It doesn’t seem to get any better no matter what you say or do. I’m not sure what planet he lives on but sadly it isn’t yours. Hugs and much support.