YEP! That about sums it up!

Yes, all truth. Darkness helps so you don't reveal grimaces or (sadly) tears.

Yep!

I was in a cancer transitions class and when the subject came up I kept my mouth shut, it was a problem before cancer. No pain after just getting the energy and worring about the pain during is enough.

What I did find out there was who woman who has had breast and colon cancer who has fibromyalgia. She actually had PT for pelvic pain which she said has really helped, she also has a supportive husband. We all have dnner once a month and I think I will inquire more.

Blue, you're not the only one hun.

I too try to be 'in the mood'. But I often fail. Then it becomes a chore and is a turn off.

For me, I'm either tired from the day or tired from the pain I'm in. And like you, when we do get to um "play"...then I pay for it for a couple of days.

I have found that for me, it's best in the morning, which it's not always the best time for my hubby (he's a routine kind of guy with his morning schedule).

So we are left out of synch with each other. And I feel we are just too young to be where we are.

We waited until we were in our early 30s to get married. And it's just so dang hard to watch intimacy be the first thing to go on us.

Because of this, we both put forth our 110% when it comes to this topic. When I have my good days, I take full advantage of them and I also for the sake of intimacy, just get-r-done so to speak.

This is a toughy, one I don't think many of us are prepared to deal with.

My husband and I are out of synch, too. He's always in the mood in the morning, but my ibs is always acting up in the mornings. Besides, I'm always a zombie in the morning. But by night time, when I'm in a better mood, my husband is always occupied with research for chemistry or grading papers (he's a teacher). Either that or he ate too much and is too full. Making love is the last thing on his mind at that point.

Well, it did improve after my hysterectomy last May. I'm not screaming bloody murder anymore because of the pain!

I do get sore, especially my hips and low back, and it takes a few days to recover.
It's hard to be in the mood and ready at the same time. I'm always tired, actually exhausted.
We average twice a month. I don't know if that's good or bad, but that's okay for now!

Bobbii is right. I keep the lights off. I'm in your situation too. I suffer through for his sake, but I never say anything about it. He calls it a "pain medicine" and I agree it is that, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. He doesn't get though that if your pain is bad enough, even that won't take it away, so it's not effective 100% of the time. I try my best to keep the lights low or off, and make him do most of "the work" LOL

I agree with everyone. My husband is angry that I never want to or can. It is just so hard when you hurt everywhere . I keep the lights off so he doesn't see the tears roll down my cheeks. I just feel dead inside.

My husband and I are out of synch too. It hardly ever happens anymore (we're in our 50's tho)

Oh Patty1963... I'm sorry.....

My spouse and I are both getting older so we both use some extra help when it comes to sex and both of them need to be used at least an hour or two prior to do "it". I use an estrogen suppository and that helps a lot.

However, I still have pain the next day or two. Thankfully neither of use need sex like in the younger days and we seem to be more in sync these days because his sex drive is way, way lower.

I'm sorry for your pain and wish I had an answer for you.

A before & or/ after hot bath or shower helps!!!!!!

My husband and I haven't had sex in about 2 years due to my pain. Being in the mood isn't a problem for me. Also the last time we tried he knew I was in pain so he was worried about that and how bad I would feel after and he couldn't do it. He takes care of his own needs and we just don't dwell on what I can no longer do/enjoy.

After a sticking with a low dose of Premarin vaginal cream @3x week for three months I started to remember what it was like to respond in a positive physical way to sexual advances, touches and fore-play. It was THRILLING! And I don't mean just sexually. I mean HOPEFULLY. It had been literally over a decade since my body sensed any stimulation in a positive way. I had forgotten what it felt like to FEEL something, anything, that brought pleasure or comfort vs aching, burning, stabbing pain. This made me realize how much of what I was suffering could be relieved if looked at in a different light. I got a new Dr that specializes in Wellness. She spent 2 and 1/2 hours with me on my first visit. She has already set my life in a whole new direction. After 20 yrs with a Fibro & CFS diagnosis she is the first dr to consider, question me, or test for Lyme Disease. Go figure! The research I'm seeing is astounding!!! Why had I not heard of this before???