Female Sexual Issues Support Group
Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...
I'm 27 and recently married, he is the only man that I have had a truly healthy sexual relationship with. I always had sexually abusive partners and believed that it was in some sick way, normal. I equated sex with love. I never enjoyed sex but felt it measured my worth by how much sex I had and with how many partners wanted to have it with me.
My husband and I have had a rough two years and last winter he grew very depressed and the frequency started to decline. We were living with my Brother and Sister in law and things were very tense. It was understandable that he was uncomfortable there. We would go out of town or have the house to ourselves and things were "active" again. Back in April we went out of town and had a great time, and when we came back he started saying he was going to save it for after we were married. I honestly got angry but figured he couldn't hold out till August. I put up with it till July when we finally moved and had our own space. Since our wedding we have had sex a handful of times.
I am almost always aroused, and it gets to the point that self stimulation doesn't help take the edge off. We've argued about it, we've talked about it, and I've gotten bitter and angry about it. I try not to take it out on him but when it literally consumes my thoughts because I am so physically stimulated its hard not to make it obvious. He isn't even masturbating anymore (not like him at all). I realize his depression last winter really spurred a downward spiral and while his claims range from "I'm 31, I'm getting old" to "I need Viagra" He also loves to tell me that I am a sex addict.
Am I horribly abnormal for having such an overwhelming sex drive? Even when we do have sex and I reach the big "O" I still want more. Horny leads to hornier.
My husband and I have had a rough two years and last winter he grew very depressed and the frequency started to decline. We were living with my Brother and Sister in law and things were very tense. It was understandable that he was uncomfortable there. We would go out of town or have the house to ourselves and things were "active" again. Back in April we went out of town and had a great time, and when we came back he started saying he was going to save it for after we were married. I honestly got angry but figured he couldn't hold out till August. I put up with it till July when we finally moved and had our own space. Since our wedding we have had sex a handful of times.
I am almost always aroused, and it gets to the point that self stimulation doesn't help take the edge off. We've argued about it, we've talked about it, and I've gotten bitter and angry about it. I try not to take it out on him but when it literally consumes my thoughts because I am so physically stimulated its hard not to make it obvious. He isn't even masturbating anymore (not like him at all). I realize his depression last winter really spurred a downward spiral and while his claims range from "I'm 31, I'm getting old" to "I need Viagra" He also loves to tell me that I am a sex addict.
Am I horribly abnormal for having such an overwhelming sex drive? Even when we do have sex and I reach the big "O" I still want more. Horny leads to hornier.
personally i think the 'sex addict' label gets bandied about far too casually, making it harder to distinguish the true sex addicts, a.k.a. 'sexual compulsives'. sexual addiction can be a very serious problem, and usually involves many more elements than just being aroused more frequently than your partner.
it's a very common problem between couples for one partner to want sex more frequently than the other. it's just a matter of choosing a way to work with it or work around it.
He tries not to get upset when I don't want sex, but we still end up fighting every time I say no.
I know for me the fact that he is upset is what makes it impossible for me to get into the mood. Therefore perpetuating the cycle.
I feel too guilty for not being horny to get horny. Stupid, but that's what's happening.
Also, if cuddling always turns into sex than it may not feel romantic anymore. (You get that "only wants sex" stupid feeling even though you know they love you.)
I an horny a lot more often than most girls, and at first I LOVED the 3 times+ a day sex. But, now, it's to the point that even if I'm horny I don't want to have sex.
I'm not sure if this is at all helpful, or if you have any tips for me. Sorry if I'm just saying useless things.
I hope you can find a solution. "True Love is far too precious to give up on."
Maybe his depression is what is affecting his sex drive, and generally not in mood for it, and maybe feels guilty that you want it and he doesnt.