Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
freaking out a bit. Some back story:
my best friend operates a day home. She started after seeing my success and finding out her son had some behavioural issues that required more one on one time then he could get at daycare. She had some parents call CPS on her claiming her middle daughter did some inappropriate things. Not touching, just things like looking at naughty videos and getting naked in front of these kids. CPS was involved, the talked to the kids and it came out that the boy was the one with the naughty videos and her daughter never got naked but she did get down to her underwear to change her clothes in front of the kids when they were playing in her room. My best friend tells me that she got a call from CPS last week (all this happened almost two months ago) and she figured it was just a follow up.
I text her today to ask her how her follow up call went and she dodged the question. Then she shows up tonight to drop something off and she is in tears but says she can't tell me why. She has NEVER said she couldn't tell me something. We have been best friends for 21 years. I knew she was pregnant before her husband did, I was the first phone call she made when her mom passed away, I was he first person she told when the allegations came out against her daughter. She also tells me that her husband is going to a job interview next week in a city 10 hours away! She told me that when this all comes out she will have to move far away. She won't have an option.
I'm really worried about her. I'm assuming something more came out of the case with her daughter, but I could be way off base. And I have no idea why she wouldn't tell me something like that because we have talked openly about it through the whole investigation. And why are they rushing to move? What could be so bad? I'm stressed out for her and I'm not sure what to do. I told her to tell me if there is anything I can do, and that I'm here when she is able to talk about it. She's more like my sister then my sister is and I'm actually hurting for her!
my best friend operates a day home. She started after seeing my success and finding out her son had some behavioural issues that required more one on one time then he could get at daycare. She had some parents call CPS on her claiming her middle daughter did some inappropriate things. Not touching, just things like looking at naughty videos and getting naked in front of these kids. CPS was involved, the talked to the kids and it came out that the boy was the one with the naughty videos and her daughter never got naked but she did get down to her underwear to change her clothes in front of the kids when they were playing in her room. My best friend tells me that she got a call from CPS last week (all this happened almost two months ago) and she figured it was just a follow up.
I text her today to ask her how her follow up call went and she dodged the question. Then she shows up tonight to drop something off and she is in tears but says she can't tell me why. She has NEVER said she couldn't tell me something. We have been best friends for 21 years. I knew she was pregnant before her husband did, I was the first phone call she made when her mom passed away, I was he first person she told when the allegations came out against her daughter. She also tells me that her husband is going to a job interview next week in a city 10 hours away! She told me that when this all comes out she will have to move far away. She won't have an option.
I'm really worried about her. I'm assuming something more came out of the case with her daughter, but I could be way off base. And I have no idea why she wouldn't tell me something like that because we have talked openly about it through the whole investigation. And why are they rushing to move? What could be so bad? I'm stressed out for her and I'm not sure what to do. I told her to tell me if there is anything I can do, and that I'm here when she is able to talk about it. She's more like my sister then my sister is and I'm actually hurting for her!
--EJ
One of my friends (I'm going to call her Dee to make it easier for me typing) suicide attempts I walked in on. Try finding your best friend laying on the floor bleeding and then not touch base daily when you see the spiral starting again. I did gently remind her to refill her pills. It's not an offensive comment because she often forgets and I often remind her.
My family is.....interesting. Dee and I latched on to each other when we were 7....my life was falling apart. My dad had died, my older sister had been raped and had a baby out of it, my mother was an alcoholic, my brother was sent away for molestation charges. When we were about 15 and my life was stable-ish her life fell apart. Her Grandpa died. Her one cousin accused her brother of innapropriate actions. Her mom was sick and no one knew why (two years later we found out it was cancer). She was failing school and she tried to kill herself for the first time (not the one I walked in on) so I was there for her like she had been there for me. We have always been close. She is literally like my family. In fact our spouses are cousins lol so if my fiance and I ever get married then she and I would be cousin in laws :P
It sounds from your posts that your friend is going through a difficult time. She may not be at liberty to tell you all the details right now. All you can do is be there for her, which I'm sure you are. Whomever is carrying the daycare license is who CPS and the state daycare licensing bureau is ultimately going to look at for any disturbances that are reported in that home or facility. It's a process and could take some time to satisfy any concerns either office has.
I hope things work out for her soon and you both find some time to have some peace of mind.
Just knowing you are there and care can make the difference.
I hope she weathers the storm, whatever that may be.
It's gotten worse and worse. She has now completely shut me out of her life. She is alive (she updates her Facebook) but she dodges me like nuts.
Someone asked me why she was looking for moving boxes and I know her brother is moving. So I text her and asked how many he needed and she told me they were for her. I ask her if they are moving in town or elsewhere. She says elsewhere. I ask her where. And she won't tell me.
She hadn't even planned on telling me she was leaving. If someone hadn't asked me about the moving boxes and I hadn't asked her she would of just left and that would of been that.
I don't know what the hell is going on but it's strange, and it pains me as my best friend is moving several hours away. I did ask her if it was 'never see her again' far away and she said less then 3.5 hours. And she asked me not to tell anyone, so I won't, but it's a hard and painful fact to keep to myself.
I guess even as an adult it aches when your best friend moves away. It just stings when she had no plans of telling you.
Maybe she's in an abusive situation.
She's a grown woman. While it must be incredibly difficult to let her go, you're going to have to.
Sorry for the loss of your friend. Thanks for updating us; I wish it were under better circumstances.
I'm not upset she is moving so much as that she wasn't going to tell me. I understand that she has to do what is best for her family. For herself, her husband and their three kids. I would never make her feel bad for taking care of them. It's just the lying to me and attempting to run without so much as a good bye that hurts the most.