Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Well, I have been living with accusations for 2 years now. My brother-in-law's wife disrespected me when I was over at her house by ignoring me, even my husband noticed and mentioned it to me. When I confronted her about this, she created a big ruckus. Turned my husband sister who is married to her brother against me. My husband says it's my fault that I shouldn't have told her what was bothering me. It has been two years and they will not let it go. We have made up a year ago but we are not on talking terms (no phone calls).
I have had them over for dinner a few weeks ago, we have seen them a couple of times they act like nothing has changed. Very two faced!! My sister-in-law turned her back on me, after I listened to all her problems and was always sweet to her, and the funny thing is I didn't do anything to her, but because she is married to her brother, she feels that she can't betray my brother-in-laws wife.
They act like I cursed them or killed their best friend. When ever we are around my sister-in-law is so miserable and acts rudely towards me. Her negativity makes me sick to my stomach, literally I feel like throwing up. Maybe anxiety. I really should say to myself f*** it, but because my husband thinks this is my fault it makes me angry. He mentioned this to me over and over.
We never sat down with the in-law and discussed the situation of fears that my brother-in-laws wife will just make a big deal once more and create drama another time. I like to keep the peace. I just want to prove to my husband that it is them (his brother and sister) that don't want anything to do with him and me. They went as far as inviting everybody except us to my husbands nephews birthday and this was after we made up.
What do you think I should do? Should I ignore the situation and pray that one day the truth will come out, and my husband will see how conniving my brother-in-laws wife is. Or should I confront them once more and put a close to this once and for all?
I have had them over for dinner a few weeks ago, we have seen them a couple of times they act like nothing has changed. Very two faced!! My sister-in-law turned her back on me, after I listened to all her problems and was always sweet to her, and the funny thing is I didn't do anything to her, but because she is married to her brother, she feels that she can't betray my brother-in-laws wife.
They act like I cursed them or killed their best friend. When ever we are around my sister-in-law is so miserable and acts rudely towards me. Her negativity makes me sick to my stomach, literally I feel like throwing up. Maybe anxiety. I really should say to myself f*** it, but because my husband thinks this is my fault it makes me angry. He mentioned this to me over and over.
We never sat down with the in-law and discussed the situation of fears that my brother-in-laws wife will just make a big deal once more and create drama another time. I like to keep the peace. I just want to prove to my husband that it is them (his brother and sister) that don't want anything to do with him and me. They went as far as inviting everybody except us to my husbands nephews birthday and this was after we made up.
What do you think I should do? Should I ignore the situation and pray that one day the truth will come out, and my husband will see how conniving my brother-in-laws wife is. Or should I confront them once more and put a close to this once and for all?
What's different is my husband saw it and flipped out. He called his brother on it. They met and talked it through. My sil was a bit nicer but has never been friendly the way you might expect. This sil has caused a lot of grief in the family.
A few years ago she started some lies with my husbands brother about me. When I heard about it I called everyone in his family and told them the truth and that if they have a problem with me they need to call me and not act like they are teenagers.
If you confront them do it in front of your husband and the others. Be specific and stick to things that can be proven. Things like being excluded from that party and ask why they did it.
You really can't change people but it might show your husband that it is not your fault they are behaving this way.
@ maebeth You are absolutely right in-laws are a waste of time they carry so much drama which is pointless. I have spoken to my husband numerous times, seems to be always defensive towards them.
@ Tigg2 How are things now with in-laws after your talk? I want so bad to sit down and discuss my concerns, but my husband things will get worse. Why can't people in-laws or not just behave normally? I agree you can't change people! Just wish my husband will stop feeling sorry for himself and blame me.
@ nowwheret I will not do anything until he decides enough is enough. However, he does not feel the way I feel. He said to me the other day that "Once a vase is broken you can't put the pieces back." referring to his family. His mother died 6 years ago and I never had in-law problems, my mil respected me and I respected never had an argument and basically controlled the family. Now it seems like this bil's wife along with her brother want's to control the family. It's not fair why can't my husband see this???
I will definitely keep you posted on any upcoming meetings.
Thanks again for your support!!