Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
linnielyn
I have a bully in my family. I am 65 years old. I have 3 brothers.. One older and two younger. "Jay" is 16 years younger than I. He is the bully. I found this site when I was exhausted, fearful and depressed from dealing with his psychological abuse. I found much support and help from the kind and caring people here. Thank you all for giving me the courage to block and no contact my brother.
I was also pointed to some good articles online about "The Serial Family Bully." Jay is a textbook example. I have dealt with him, I have blocked and prevented him from any further contact. This infuriated him more. He then retaliated, tried to destroy my relationships with my brother Dana and even with my son. I'm certain he is not done, that he will continue to try to destroy and discredit me with his lies and brainwashing. He is relentless. But I cannot control that. I just have to move on with my own life and find my peace. A friend told me the other day "you are such an advanced soul that was dropped into the middle of low vibrational people." Yes, this is sad, but I've accepted that it is probably true. My family of origin was horribly dysfunctional. I transcended myself from this place as a child through music and art. It has served me well throughout my life. I can speculate why Jay chose me as "the target" for his bullying. Often, a bully will seek someone who has the character traits that he feels he lacks. Bullying will leave a victim feeling useless, unwanted and flawed. That is the bully's goal. I blamed myself. I started to believe that I was that horrible person that he said I was. So not the case!
If you have a bully in your family, please reach out for help from friends, supportive family members and private counseling, all of which has helped me. Thank you all.
I was also pointed to some good articles online about "The Serial Family Bully." Jay is a textbook example. I have dealt with him, I have blocked and prevented him from any further contact. This infuriated him more. He then retaliated, tried to destroy my relationships with my brother Dana and even with my son. I'm certain he is not done, that he will continue to try to destroy and discredit me with his lies and brainwashing. He is relentless. But I cannot control that. I just have to move on with my own life and find my peace. A friend told me the other day "you are such an advanced soul that was dropped into the middle of low vibrational people." Yes, this is sad, but I've accepted that it is probably true. My family of origin was horribly dysfunctional. I transcended myself from this place as a child through music and art. It has served me well throughout my life. I can speculate why Jay chose me as "the target" for his bullying. Often, a bully will seek someone who has the character traits that he feels he lacks. Bullying will leave a victim feeling useless, unwanted and flawed. That is the bully's goal. I blamed myself. I started to believe that I was that horrible person that he said I was. So not the case!
If you have a bully in your family, please reach out for help from friends, supportive family members and private counseling, all of which has helped me. Thank you all.
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I'm glad that you're taking care of you.. Most people will realize that they are being bullied .. I hope the others will take steps to take care of themselves as well... Big hug....xo
I tell my daughter that bullies will stop if they realize that their attempts to lower someone's self esteem doesn't work... they will go onto another victim. In fact, many times, there's this weird attraction that happens... The bully can smell an easy target and the victim actually projects a target attitude.
The best antidote to a bully is to be soaring so high, the "low vibration" people (I love that term, btw!) can't even reach you!
Thank you for your post. It always helps to hear of others who go through the same. Somehow it makes a person not feel so alone.
It's a shame that this person had to be a relative but just keep in mind that you as his sister never asked for this estrangement; he got what he finally deserved.
I'm sure he's going to try to one-up you for awhile because you've just taken back your power and he's reeling in misery and anger over you not willing to be his victim any longer.
Actions have consequences; it's way past time that he got his due!