Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Can anyone relate to having a mean daughter-in-law? If I don't live my life according to her rules, she will not let me see my grandchildren. I am talking about rules like disliking other family members and letting go of all other family members but her. She has a hate list that consists of my son's father and his wife, my son's brother and his wife, me, and my daughter. My husband and I have a local bank for them, I have babysat daily for them, I helped her to get a job where I work because you could not find one any other place.
One day while kidding her kids I went to my other son's house to visit(the one that is on her hate list). The 7 year old wanted to stay longer and play with her 3 year cousin. I had to leave so I let her stay. My daughter-in-law came unglued and will not let me see my grandkids anymore. I stood up for my son that she hates and it made her mad. Her husband, my son, says he has to stand behind her because it is not worth it not too. He will not stand up for my or his dad, or brother. I am so frustrated that she uses the kids to fight her battles. She does this because she know I love them with all my heart and it will hurt me not be see them. How mean is that?
One day while kidding her kids I went to my other son's house to visit(the one that is on her hate list). The 7 year old wanted to stay longer and play with her 3 year cousin. I had to leave so I let her stay. My daughter-in-law came unglued and will not let me see my grandkids anymore. I stood up for my son that she hates and it made her mad. Her husband, my son, says he has to stand behind her because it is not worth it not too. He will not stand up for my or his dad, or brother. I am so frustrated that she uses the kids to fight her battles. She does this because she know I love them with all my heart and it will hurt me not be see them. How mean is that?
-
Okay, people - up and at 'em! Everybody out of bed.Today is the first day of the rest of your life! What are you going to do with it?I believe in you! You've Got this!(Ah-ah, I see you over there, crawling back into bed)
-
The weekend is here!!...Just bearlyI've been hiding away today...I've become more and more uncomfortable in this lifeI've sort of forgotten or opted out of 'living'I don't know how else to put itI'm reclusive other than being with my landlord/friend at timesI don't know how to re engage as I don't really want toJust venting....I know I have a lot to be grateful for...xo
Most of what I have read from others giving advice on this subject has never worked for me. I have tried everything with this girl. Finally, a few months back, I decided that I just did not want to go on this way. It was too hurtful and stressful for me and my husband, who is my son's step-father. He has also been very kind and good to both my son and daughter=in-law.
If I could go back in time I would never allow her to ever get started with her bullying and nastiness. I would advise anyone out there who is having these problems to confront it from the very beginning and take a firm stand. Tell the son also right away. Do not hesitate. Tell them both that you will not allow this type of behavior and expect that it never happen again.
I can tell you that if you don't, it will continue and even get worse since she has gotten away with it once, she will definitely try you again. She likes the power over you and probably knows that you do not want to start a scene and therefore will not tell your son. Most of the time these daughter=in=laws do these mean nasty things while the son is not around. Make certain that he knows exactly what she has done. Make her face up to it while he is present. I will write more on this later because there are so many instances that I want to point out. Don't be surprised if the son takes sides with her though. Remember, he doesn't want her wrath when you are not there. He also doesn't want to get it from her mother as well. He is caught up in a web with these two witches. He may suspicion that they have done things to you but he figures you can take your part or just doesn't want to get involved.
At this point, I have pulled away but still haven't told him all that she and her mother have said and done. He apparently is siding with her. I intend to hold my ground though because I have never gained one single thing from staying quite and putting up with her abuse. I can assure you that it is not worth it. You will miss out on holidays, vacations, family get-t0-gethers, etc., anyway, so you might as well do it and get it over with. She doesn't want you competing with her mother nor neither does HER mother. They both are jealous of your relationship with your son and they intend to win this battle no matter what. Your son has to wake up and be a man and stand up for his mother and her family and let his wife and her mother know that he will not tolerate it.
As I said before for any of you that may just be experiencing The daughter-in-law from you know where, stop it before it gets started. Confront her and put her in her place and let the chips fall where they may. You won't win if you don't and may not any way. Remember, she is selfish and doesn't care about your feelings. She will try you again if you don't stop her dead in her tracks.