My son's a graduating senior. I can only imagine all of the complexity of what you're going through.

Studying, pressures for the future, wanting to enjoy these last few months of school, etc.

Is there anyplace out of the house that you can go? The library? A friend's house? Even if you belong to a church, if you talk to the pastor you might be able to find a spot in there where you can just sit and study outside of the stress of your home.

I think it's wonderful of you to want to support your mother. And I'm actually all in favor of kids doing just that. But, right now, in your senior year...your needs come first.

I've thought about doing that. But my school finishes at 6 pm and by then libraries and stuff are closed... I just try and use noise-block headphones

Good idea.

I'll try to think of more ideas. I wish that I had more advice.

Can you get out sometimes just for fun? Go to the movies? or a school event?

Big hug for you towers..... There is also an active Anxiety Board on here that might be of help to you

I don't think kids should ever be put in the middle of their parents marriage problems....It's an impossible place for you to be....

Both your mom and your father are going to end up deciding themselves what they want to do

I agree with Patti that a spiritual leader might be a good source of support as well if you have one

Do you have a guidance councillor at school you can talk to??....He/she may be able to refer you to somewhere that you can get some support for you

You could also look online to see if there is any teen peer support groups near where you live

Big hug....xo

Anxiety board

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/anxiety

I wasn't thinking about a spiritual leader, although that's certainly a good idea if you're religious. I was thinking about the actual building.

Once upon a time, most churches were unlocked and open most of the day. Anyone that wanted to come in, a member or not, was welcomed. That's changed.

But, when staff are in the office, they will still almost always allow someone in. For a quiet place, to pray, sometimes (it used to be) to use the gym and shoot hoops, or even to study.

I'm just saying that if you've got that option...it doesn't hurt to ask.

You don't have to "spill the beans" on the family issues. You could just say that you're looking for a quiet space.

Just be respectful and clean up after yourself (which if you're anything like my son...I really don't need to say.) Most people don't recognize it...but most teens really ARE good people.

Thank you guys. Already talking on here is a big help.

My school doesn't have a guidance counsellor and I'm not really religious so I don't have a spiritual leader that I would be able to talk to. I try to go out as often as I can but I'm doing the IB program and often have so much school work that it takes up all my time.

At the start of this all, we tried to stay neutral. But my father has forced all my three siblings and I to take sides and its like a war has been drawn between the two factions of my family. I don't mean to sound selfish or anything but I hope for my personal sake that they decide what they want to do quick, I can't carry on living like this.

Oh and I'm atheist...so if none of that's for you...I completely understand too.

But...even atheist, if you know the people...you can still ask.

My mother did the same thing with my sister and me. Although we get along now...we don't have a relationship. It's so hard to overcome both what-wasn't-there, and the mental manipulations.

I understand, I have no clue how I'm ever going to have a relationship again with my father. He already regards me as a disappointment of a son.

Do you mind if I ask how you got through it at the time?

Right now ita a tense situation in your family so things will be said that are probably not meant. When your parents decide what to do and when things calm down you can take a moment to see if you want to have a relationship with your father. As of right now I know how stressful senior year can be therefore you should try to focus on that and try to block everything out, and I know it's not easy at all. But think about the positive consequences that having good grades can bring.

Truthfully...I wrote the numbers 0-1050 into a notebook and crossed them off one day at a time. I wrote a handful of journals in that notebook, and kept it all well hidden (well it had a previous years notes for a class in the front part of it). It's been 30 years and I've still kept it. Just to remind myself that I wasn't "making it all up" or exaggerating.

I just needed something concrete. Something that I could HOLD. Something that said that this would all end someday and that if just held on I could get through it.

@ Self02 - even when things are good he still never talks to me but i'll nevertheless attempt what you have said

otherwise @patti02 - keeping a journal seems like a good idea I'll try it out

I'm sorry, but I think as a grown adult that had 3 kids that I ended up raising, that I did not force them to take sides or draw them into my issues with their dad and later on ex. It was just to hard for them to have to deal with their school and building their social life. My marriage to their dad was a separate issue. They could already tell something had went very wrong, adultery on his part, but to draw them in...no. I refused to fight with him with them around. My kids already felt the tension. When I was asked if I was leaving or if we were going to split I did tell them there was a good chance and if crying started I told them that sometimes leaving was the only way at times. As a mother I did not involve my daughter in my fights with her dad. She loved both and it was just wrong because of that. If you can find any space anywhere that is safe that u can study then take it. And the guilt your mother is laying on you is just wrong. Your not married to understand a marriage and she needs to see a counselor instead of laying it on you. It's just to much.

I just don't know what to do.my mum keeps asking me to deal with things for her - like if my sister (who is on my dad's 'side') is being difficult she will tell me to do something about her. today there was a major fight and i accidentally punched my sister (in the arm but it honestly could have been the face) I was trying to study when she and my mum started fighting and screaming at each other. There's a lot of background context but long story short, things got out of hand.

I came out of my room and at first politely asked them to be quieter or not talk to each other until they calmed down. it ended with me screaming, crying and yelling at them to 'shut the f**k up'. I also smashed a photo frame of me and my siblings.

I don't know what to do, There's 147 days until I can leave but I'm afraid of the person of becoming, I'm so angry all the time.