I guess I am not sure if you have ever tried sitting down with your family either all together or one by one and letting them know how you feel. It might be they don't even recogonize the fact they are hurting your feelings by their behavior. To me communication and how you communicate are very important as I feel if you just assume people should understand how you feel simply by your reactions when you are angry it will get you no where and people will just continue behaving the same way.

This does not mean you have to be or treat anyone badly to get your point across but it does mean that you should be able to talk openly about your feelings and set up bondaries that you are comfortable with. If you have tried to talk to them and they still continue to treat you in a way that makes you angry you might consider limiting your contact a bit and perhaps even just making other arrangements so you are not depending on them to attend any family events.

You have the power to control how their behavior affects you and I just think if you stay strong and confident people will respect you. Life is just too darn short to be angry and upset and people family or others should never have that control over you. Anyway I hope this helps a bit for you and that things will soon get better. Wishing you all the best.:)

the last part of ur post reminds me on how stuff has to be done when it is convenient for my mom on everything. when it comes to bday celebrations, it is so fake and phoney u can't feel the love or happiness its like both of my folks always pretend lets be a happy family.

i find your situation to be rude by your family and didnt take consideration of your feelings u could either talk to them calmly using I statements and if that dont work then maybe you need some tools to find ways to not let these things bother you anymore.

It is never fun to be left out of the equation, it can be pretty lonely. Have you tried anything like talking to them?

Hate is a strong word and please remember they are your family. Try talking with them and see if it makes any differance. Be grateful for having a family even tho they may have their problems too.

It sucks, I agree - they shouldn't leave you out, and I don't know the whole situation and all the other things that factor into this...I think that was rude of your sister to shove her food into your face. I also think, you need not compare yourself to your older sister and the fact they treat her situation differently than yours...that will never change - but you can't continue to expect the be treated the same either...I go through this - it's not fair, sucks, etc...but you are a different person and will now and always be treated in ways you may feel are unfair, and in all honesty, your eldest sister probably feels the same about you. Anyway, I realize you're angry and I think that's just fine, they could have waited. However, now, the time has passed and they didn't, and you obviously want to be there for your sister's special day, so what is stopping you from doing something special with her? Take her to desert and coffee or dinner just the two of you, or lunch? Or, a movie? If you spend your whole life waiting for others' to entertain your idea of 'what should be'...you will miss out on what 'could be'. I am not trying to be mean, or hurt your feelings, just maybe hoping you will take the control of this situation back into your hands, and do what you're intent was - hang with your sister for her birthday...HUGS!

You are not alone. I was always left out of things. I wasn't even told until the next day, that my father was in the hospital. Thanks to my evil step-monster. Not much I can do she runs the house and everyone is afraid of her. That is why I left them and didn't look back.

Talking to them will only make them do it purposely, just to bother you. I have tried tell them and they kept doing it. If anything, ignore them and act like it didn't bother you. Go out with your friends enjoy them sometimes they are more family than your own,.

I understand your situation. When my grandmother died, my husband was the only grandson-inlaw that was not a pall bearer (there are 4 granddaughters and all the other husbands were pall bearers). That being said, I'm the only one out of the granddaughters that moved over 4 hours away. They are all constantly guilted and controlled; none of them have children because they don't want to "repeat the cycle". I would say my emotional health is more important than my immediate family (hubby, me, and kids) being included in grandma's funeral. I'm far happier than my sister or cousins because I put down boundaries years ago and stuck to them. Best of luck and I think some boundaries/distance may benefit you; find a support sysytem of friends away from your family. **Hugs**

in these kinds of family drama, we all hate our family. i hate mine and proud to say it why should i have any compassion for evil people when shittiness and nastiness runs on both sides of my family? i am not ashamed of saying the word hate, my idiot parents wonder why all 4 of us hate them yet we are the liars while they look good in the public's eye.

my family isnt the one who did family outings it was phoney when they did. my dad would never wanna spend money on us to eat he expected you to use ur money to pay for ur own food or eat grapes and expect to be full all day, then he wonders why we never wanted to go anywhere with him thats how extremely cheap he is. however, he can spend all of his money on sluts like no problem.