Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I'm so overwhelmed with my mother lately.
She has severe arthritis in her hands and could no longer work as the chef she trained as. So she went back to school.
She lives in a duplex with rent that is $900, she has a $400 per month storage bill, $350 to a loan place, $200 utility bill, groceries, gas, insurance, pet food. And she makes only $1000 per month.
My neice messaged me late tonight to tell me that my mom was talking about killing herself and she didn't think she was joking. I told her to call the police. My mom owes $2400 by tomorrow or she will most likely find herself homeless.
She refuses to give up the storage. Everytime she get's caught up on that bill she never get's into the unit to take the important things out and let the rest go. If she is behind they don't allow her access. The loan, well, that's not going anywhere. If she got rid of her dogs, fish and rabbit then she could afford to live somewhere waaaay cheaper. And I get that the pets are important. But are they worth being homeless?
I am always the one who people want to fix everything! I'm so exhausted. I can't fix this. I don't know how. If she would get rid of her dogs and most of the stuff in her house I'm sure she could stay with us for a bit rent free. But we have two dogs already, we are not taking on her two more. Plus her rabbit, and her huge fish tank.
If she would get caught up on her locker then go through it, then she could let them take it. I get that there is a lot to go to the dump to get to the stuff that's important, but you know what? I can pay for some of the dumping, I'm sure my brother would pay for some and my little sister too. She knows this.
I know she is depressed but she refuses to see anyone. There is help but she refuses to do anything she doesn't want too. I feel bad for her and I'm angry. I know she gave up her life to raise her kids when our father died young. But now it's like she has to keep 100% control at all times. I feel like I'm running my face in to a brick wall and I'm scared she is going to do something stupid.
I'm trying to get a massage booked for her Saturday, not sure if I will be able to get her in, and then after I'm hoping to take her for coffee and have a good heart to heart with her to tell her she is loved and that she just needs to let go of the reins a little.
I'm just so bloody overwhelmed....sigh
She has severe arthritis in her hands and could no longer work as the chef she trained as. So she went back to school.
She lives in a duplex with rent that is $900, she has a $400 per month storage bill, $350 to a loan place, $200 utility bill, groceries, gas, insurance, pet food. And she makes only $1000 per month.
My neice messaged me late tonight to tell me that my mom was talking about killing herself and she didn't think she was joking. I told her to call the police. My mom owes $2400 by tomorrow or she will most likely find herself homeless.
She refuses to give up the storage. Everytime she get's caught up on that bill she never get's into the unit to take the important things out and let the rest go. If she is behind they don't allow her access. The loan, well, that's not going anywhere. If she got rid of her dogs, fish and rabbit then she could afford to live somewhere waaaay cheaper. And I get that the pets are important. But are they worth being homeless?
I am always the one who people want to fix everything! I'm so exhausted. I can't fix this. I don't know how. If she would get rid of her dogs and most of the stuff in her house I'm sure she could stay with us for a bit rent free. But we have two dogs already, we are not taking on her two more. Plus her rabbit, and her huge fish tank.
If she would get caught up on her locker then go through it, then she could let them take it. I get that there is a lot to go to the dump to get to the stuff that's important, but you know what? I can pay for some of the dumping, I'm sure my brother would pay for some and my little sister too. She knows this.
I know she is depressed but she refuses to see anyone. There is help but she refuses to do anything she doesn't want too. I feel bad for her and I'm angry. I know she gave up her life to raise her kids when our father died young. But now it's like she has to keep 100% control at all times. I feel like I'm running my face in to a brick wall and I'm scared she is going to do something stupid.
I'm trying to get a massage booked for her Saturday, not sure if I will be able to get her in, and then after I'm hoping to take her for coffee and have a good heart to heart with her to tell her she is loved and that she just needs to let go of the reins a little.
I'm just so bloody overwhelmed....sigh
I think it's admirable you are trying to help your mother, but I don't really think it's in your power, since she's doing things on her own to usurp her situation.
You may want to consider joining the codependent board. I noticed that you mentioned a substance abusing sister. Maybe this is a pattern in your family? They mess up and you think you are the one to clean it up??? That's not fair to you.
Maybe she's afraid if she lets go of the stuff, she'll start drinking again... That stuff could be keeping her sober... I actually understand that.
Maybe it's time to talk about those issues. What could she have done with all that money??? It's too bad...
How did the massage and chat go???
The chat went well I think. We sat down and she called all the places she owed money too and got extensions. She said she thinks she needs help with a budget, so I told her if she figured out some things for me I can help her build a budget but she will have to be the one to stick with it.