I'm sorry to know your pain.

You said about medication- is it for your back?

You mentioned $ issues... any way to fix that?

Could you be depressed?

Sometimes, just letting things come is not such a bad thing... it's releasing control and learning acceptance...

Hugs.

The medication is for my back, seizures, high blood pressure, migraines, bi-polar, depression, breathing issues. The money issue is that we have one income while I wait to see if I am gong to get disability. I am sure I am depressed but not sure what I can do at this point. I have tried backing off and letting things happen anditseems to piss everyone in my family off. they think that what goes wrong is my fault. Ihave always been the one to find help. I as always so tired of doing things that I just want to sleep the mornings away. I would love to sleep more but I make sure that I am up when my kids are home. I try not to let them see how things are but they do not help either. I have argue with them to get them to do their chores.

It sounds like other people in your life are having their own issues.

You can't help certain things; you can for others... How's your diet? That can make a BIG difference. Do you meditate? Do breathing work? A lot of your issues could be connected to diet and lifestyle. If you make certain adjustments, you may notice an improvement. Not saying that it'll all go away, but anything you can do to make positive choices will do you good.

Your partner should learn how to just take care of his/her own issues and let you deal with yours.

And your kids need to start towing the line no matter WHAT your condition- it's part of growing up.

Keep posting... it'll help sort out your emotions and maybe get a game plan.

Hugs.

If you can get a referral to the food bank, do it. Some give out more food than others. It's usually supposed to be a "3 day supply". Not always very much, but that 3 day's can mean the difference between having an extra $20 for a co-pay or not.

I'm one of the queens of thrifty. I buy a lot of anything on sale and have learned many low cost meals. I also like to make and freeze stuff...wha..la my own healthier frozen meals. So that on days when I feel sick, I don't have to cook.

How old are your kids? I've had luck doing different things. First, rather than calling them "chores" think of it as "being part of the family". If you're in the house and using the bathroom, you can help keep it clean. I also stress that the contribution is meaningful. It's no joke when mom has to work (or is sick) and someone helps make a meal.

That said, when the kids were really preschoolers, I think "chores" were more of a bragging rite than anything else "Johnny's making his bed every morning"...yeah (sarc) great for you...

My kids are 13 and 15 now. At this point, it's as much about teaching them skills that they'll be glad that they've learned as anything else. Both kids have learned a handful of meals to make. When we clean the house, we tend to do it all together. My daughter was notorious for "moving at the speed of snail". Her brother pushed her to move faster.

Finally, Enjoy your kids. No matter what. Even if the bills aren't paid. Even with a migraine (well I've had a couple...maybe not then). But enjoy your kids through it all. It's the one thing that you can't go back and do over.

We use the food pantry here in our town. We can go to it once a month. Our family has gotten use to eating Ramen noodles and things that cost less than 10 for the whole family to eat. We have been doing that for years. My kids that are in the house are 14 and 16. They know what they are supposed to do but the 14 year old would rather watch movies and play on games than do anything else and the 16 year old always has friends over and she will not do anything until they leave. Which a lot of times is about 9:30 pm. I have tried using coupons at the store closest to us and the food is still high there. I can still go to Walmart and spend the same amount and get more. I am trying to start collecting coupons to use at Walmart but never know when will get there. I am now to the point where I have to rely on someone to take me places.

I know a lot of my depression is me being limited in what I can do. I used to enjoy walking everywhere, now I pass out when I try to walk to the end of the block. I am out of breath walking across the room. Since my seizures are not under control I am no longer able to drive. I am sure it does not help that I have no friends where we live. All of my friends live over an hour or more away. I just feel that I have no one to talk to most of the time. I have tried to make friends here but I have been screwed over by the ones that I made so I have stopped trying.

Ramen are literally the worst food you can eat. All those chemicals and salt...

Buy brown rice. Buy dry beans. Get a rice cooker and a pressure cooker and start eating healthy. You'll be amazed how much better you will feel. And it's cheap!

Thank you. I will try that

Sounds like you're already working really hard at this right now!

For years I lived on very little money. I have more tricks for squeezing a dime than I can count. Powdered milk used to be about half of the price as fresh milk, and I would use it in all of my cooking.

I still mix up my own pancake mix and keep it in a jar. (All it is is flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. And possibly powdered milk, although I found that mixing the milk and water separately worked better.) If you've got freezer space, that's another meal that can be made ahead. Sometimes I even add the syrup too it. Cinnamon, etc.

(I have lots of freezer space...) I buy day old whole wheat bread (it's my favorite). And make big batches of french toast when eggs go on sale. Jumbo eggs are often a better deal than regular eggs. But if you only use the whites...then they're often not because they're often double yolks. (My mom goes nuts over double yolks...a treat to her.)

Any cake you make from scratch...ever...will taste better than a box mix. Just because the flour and such aren't as old. You can mix up "mixes" and store them in plastic bags (just be sure to label...) I don't usually do that anymore, just because I've cooked for so long and have a system and for me it doesn't make any extra mess. But do what works for you.

I've made my own hot chocolate mix. But that's often not a big money saver.

I'll try and think some more about it. But I tend to do that stuff just as part of my life now and I don't think about it.

I also shop almost exclusively at those "scratch and dent" places where they get the "old" food that's still sell-able. For about 50.00, I get what I'd have to pay easily 200.00.

Also, I shop at Produce Junction. Don't know if that's a chain, but we have a lot of them... they have fruits and veggies for WAY cheaper.

It's a myth that eating healthy costs more. AND, when you eat REAL food, you wind up eating less because your body actually recognizes the nutrients... instead of being confused by the chemicals.

We also shop at Good Will. Once you buy a shirt and wear it a few times, it's the same, anyway.

My "splurge" for "luxury" items I only buy at Shoprite, when on sale. It's the cheapest, IMHO.

Hope this helps.

Big hug for you Rhea.... I see people have given good advise on how you can get some help with food etc so I will comment on what you've written about your husband

I would let him know that you want to have a quiet and calm talk when you're on your own....He's teaching or has taught your children how to behave and shame on him for doing this

Kids repeat what they learn from their parents and it seems he's taught your children how to bully others... You don't have to tolerate this... There are places that can help abused women... I am so very sorry that you've had to live with this pain and disrespect.... Another hug and a blessing...xo

I would write down what's he's been saying let him know how you're hurting... Maybe this is his way of being in the world BUT you don't deserve to be treated badly nor should you be

Then follow it up with a family meeting... The parents are in charge ...Not the kids... Let your daughter know that she can have her friends over AFTER her chores are done... You and your husband have to be parents on the same page if you want healthy changes to be made within your home... You may not have a lot of money however there doesn't have to be this discourse in your home... And again you don't have to ..nor should you be subject to this disrespect... Another hug and a blessing...xo

I really appreciate all of the advice. I tried to do my best with buying food. The closest food discount stores are an hour away, so I am not sure how much that will save. I try not to buy at the store only 2 blocks away because they are so high. I have decided that I am going to have a garden this year and plant the veggies that we eat the most. I know that there are ways to save money around here I just need to figure out what they are. Thank you all again.

If you go to the discount place once a month, could you get someone to take you there? You could go together. I bet 50.00 of carefully planned shopping could actually last you about a month. : )

To help you save: Don't forget coupons. People throw them out. Have them save them for you. So many times you can get your toothpaste, deodorant and soap for $.50 to free.

I know there are people who coupon better than I do, but I don't buy the paper--the guy at the dump saves me the coupons people throw out and I make sure he gets a cut of my free stuff.

If the food coupons make the item cost next to nothing, the food is probably junk. Avoid this if you can, but every once in a while a treat is nice for the kids.

Plus, there is a euphoric feeling I get when I get a free item couponing. It makes me happy happy.